need help in california...

[blng_blng]

my marriage is just about over...
my wife has engaged in a parental allienation campaign that is unforgivable...
but anyways...
i had an issue with my inlaws...
long story short...
they came over to my house, inserted themselves into an issue with my wife about my kids going to church...
they told me (in front of my kids) that they did not have to attend church if they did not want to...
then called 911/the police on me in my house...

my mother in law, literally stood in front of my son (like you have to come thru me to get to him) to ensure i would not take my son to church with me.

the police got there and i know enuff of california law that i was well within my right as their father to dictate which church they attend...

what i want to know is what type of recourse do i have in the event this happens again...

i had my hands behind my back per my mother-in-law is recovering from cancer and 1/2 of me felt sorry for her...

what i want to know iis what recourse do i have if this happens again...???
\
if this happens again i will not have sympathy

 

[Proserpina]

my marriage is just about over...
my wife has engaged in a parental allienation campaign that is unforgivable...
but anyways...
i had an issue with my inlaws...
long story short...
they came over to my house, inserted themselves into an issue with my wife about my kids going to church...
they told me (in front of my kids) that they did not have to attend church if they did not want to...
then called 911/the police on me in my house...

my mother in law, literally stood in front of my son (like you have to come thru me to get to him) to ensure i would not take my son to church with me.

the police got there and i know enuff of california law that i was well within my right as their father to dictate which church they attend...

what i want to know is what type of recourse do i have in the event this happens again...

i had my hands behind my back per my mother-in-law is recovering from cancer and 1/2 of me felt sorry for her...

what i want to know iis what recourse do i have if this happens again...???
\
if this happens again i will not have sympathy

Can we assume from this that Mom was in agreement with them?

If she agreed with them and stood with them - well, she has every right to say "no" to your Church (and indeed, to any Church at all).

Did she stand by idly watching the incident?

 

[Just Blue]

my marriage is just about over...
my wife has engaged in a parental allienation campaign that is unforgivable...
but anyways...
i had an issue with my inlaws...
long story short...
they came over to my house, inserted themselves into an issue with my wife about my kids going to church...
they told me (in front of my kids) that they did not have to attend church if they did not want to...
then called 911/the police on me in my house...

my mother in law, literally stood in front of my son (like you have to come thru me to get to him) to ensure i would not take my son to church with me.

the police got there and i know enuff of california law that i was well within my right as their father to dictate which church they attend...

what i want to know is what type of recourse do i have in the event this happens again...

i had my hands behind my back per my mother-in-law is recovering from cancer and 1/2 of me felt sorry for her...

what i want to know iis what recourse do i have if this happens again...???
\
if this happens again i will not have sympathy

The police came to your home because MIL called regarding kids going to Church? No other reason? Seems a bit odd to me.

 

[Proserpina]

The police came to your home because MIL called regarding kids going to Church? No other reason? Seems a bit odd to me.

Um...re-read the original post again. I just did, and I think I need to know if I'm seeing something - just by the wording - that's causing me to shiver inwardly?

It's implying that the only reason he didn't get physical was because MIL was sick...and then implying that next time he won't hold back.

Please tell me it's just me.

 

[Just Blue]

Um...re-read the original post again. I just did, and I think I need to know if I'm seeing something - just by the wording - that's causing me to shiver inwardly?

It's implying that the only reason he didn't get physical was because MIL was sick...and then implying that next time he won't hold back.

Please tell me it's just me.

Sorry...I can't tell you that. I also get creeped out when people INSIST on children go to church. IMO if causes said child to HATE church and turn from God.

 

[CdwJava]

Sorry...I can't tell you that. I also get creeped out when people INSIST on children go to church. IMO if causes said child to HATE church and turn from God.

Though, I did not read where the KIDS didn't want to go to church, only that the in-laws did not want the kids to go to church.

The in-laws have no say in the matter. None. If they are on your property and refuse to depart when asked, you can have them arrested for trespassing. If they bar your way and prevent you and your children from leaving, you can call the police and have them arrested for false imprisonment (or, if on your property and refusing to leave, trespassing).

If your wife is also against them going to church, that could be a problem if she was also present. But, from what you write, she did not appear to be.

When/if you file for divorce and visitation/custody, then on your visitation days you can take the kids to church unless specifically prohibited by the order.

 

[Just Blue]

Though, I did not read where the KIDS didn't want to go to church, only that the in-laws did not want the kids to go to church.

The in-laws have no say in the matter. None. If they are on your property and refuse to depart when asked, you can have them arrested for trespassing. If they bar your way and prevent you and your children from leaving, you can call the police and have them arrested for false imprisonment (or, if on your property and refusing to leave, trespassing).

If your wife is also against them going to church, that could be a problem if she was also present. But, from what you write, she did not appear to be.

When/if you file for divorce and visitation/custody, then on your visitation days you can take the kids to church unless specifically prohibited by the order.

You're right...I missread.

 

[LdiJ]

Though, I did not read where the KIDS didn't want to go to church, only that the in-laws did not want the kids to go to church.

The in-laws have no say in the matter. None. If they are on your property and refuse to depart when asked, you can have them arrested for trespassing. If they bar your way and prevent you and your children from leaving, you can call the police and have them arrested for false imprisonment (or, if on your property and refusing to leave, trespassing).

If your wife is also against them going to church, that could be a problem if she was also present. But, from what you write, she did not appear to be.

When/if you file for divorce and visitation/custody, then on your visitation days you can take the kids to church unless specifically prohibited by the order.

I am kind of disagreeing with you. I agree that the inlaws have no say, but mom has equal say to dad and it sounded to me like mom was present.

 

[Proserpina]

I am kind of disagreeing with you. I agree that the inlaws have no say, but mom has equal say to dad and it sounded to me like mom was present.

That's how I read it, too.

The whole "hands behind my back" thing creeps me out after rereading it several times. It honestly does read, "If she hadn't have had cancer I woulda....".

Craptacular of all concerned - except the poor child who was stuck in the middle of this delightful mess.

 

[Ladyback1]

my marriage is just about over...
my wife has engaged in a parental allienation campaign that is unforgivable...
but anyways...
i had an issue with my inlaws...
long story short...
they came over to my house, inserted themselves into an issue with my wife about my kids going to church...
they told me (in front of my kids) that they did not have to attend church if they did not want to...
then called 911/the police on me in my house...

my mother in law, literally stood in front of my son (like you have to come thru me to get to him) to ensure i would not take my son to church with me.

the police got there and i know enuff of california law that i was well within my right as their father to dictate which church they attend...

what i want to know is what type of recourse do i have in the event this happens again...

i had my hands behind my back per my mother-in-law is recovering from cancer and 1/2 of me felt sorry for her...

what i want to know iis what recourse do i have if this happens again...???
\
if this happens again i will not have sympathy

How old are the kids?

And yes, as a parent you can DICTATE a lot of things...but dictating isn't always the best way to accomplish a goal.

I can tell you, having been raised in a church (where my dad and my mom are both ordained ministers) at about 12-13 I resented the crap out of being forced to go to church every friggin' time the doors were open. And the absolute second I turned 18, I ran as hard and fast as I could from going to church and religion in general. It's taken me 20-25 years to deal with that and begin to turn back to my faith (not my church, not my religion...faith).

Legally, in laws do not have a say in what church/religion their grandchildren are required to attend.
Mom does have a legal right to voice her objections. If I were you? This is one of those situations to tread very carefully on.

 

[LdiJ]

That's how I read it, too.

The whole "hands behind my back" thing creeps me out after rereading it several times. It honestly does read, "If she hadn't have had cancer I woulda....".

Craptacular of all concerned - except the poor child who was stuck in the middle of this delightful mess.

Yeah...it creeped me out too...also the whole

the police got there and i know enuff of california law that i was well within my right as their father to dictate which church they attend...

The whole thing makes me really uneasy. Who lets a dispute about going to church rise to that level?

 

[CdwJava]

I am kind of disagreeing with you. I agree that the inlaws have no say, but mom has equal say to dad and it sounded to me like mom was present.

I didn't catch any inference that mom was present.

But, if she were, the police are not going to say who can and who cannot take the kids wherever. The police would be there to keep the peace and if the parents argued over church or no church, the police might decide to turn the kids over to CPS until mom and dad could get a judge to sort it out for them.

 

[CdwJava]

That's how I read it, too.

I figured if mom were active in the argument, he would have mentioned it. But, I could be wrong. And it still wouldn't have prevented dad from taking the kids to church.

The whole "hands behind my back" thing creeps me out after rereading it several times. It honestly does read, "If she hadn't have had cancer I woulda....".

Or, he might have been implying he just would have pushed her out of the way. If someone were blocking MY way, I'd probably move them out of my way.

Craptacular of all concerned - except the poor child who was stuck in the middle of this delightful mess.

Or, we have one or more sets of parents and in-laws creating issues where there should be none simply in an effort to gain a perceived edge in ... something.

 

[CdwJava]

The whole thing makes me really uneasy. Who lets a dispute about going to church rise to that level?

Oh, I have seen it get a whole lot worse!!!

 

[Proserpina]

I figured if mom were active in the argument, he would have mentioned it. But, I could be wrong.

I get the distinct impression that Mom's presence wouldn't have been worth noting either way.

And it still wouldn't have prevented dad from taking the kids to church.

Who wins that one? Dad wants them to go. Mom doesn't want them to go. Dad bundles them into the car regardless of Mom's wishes. Mom follows in her car and brings them right back out of church.

Seriously - where does it end?

Or, he might have been implying he just would have pushed her out of the way. If someone were blocking MY way, I'd probably move them out of my way.

Would you have made a point of bringing it to the attention of a group of perfect strangers? "Heck if he didn't have a broken leg I would've .... ".

That someone did feel the need to impress on us that the only reason he didn't put his hands on someone was because that someone was suffering from cancer, may just suggest that he needs to be seen as Kind Bill who would only beat up someone who wasn't ill. He actually made a point that he would not be sympathetic the "next time".

Of course, I'm also thinking there is a cultural difference at play.

Or, we have one or more sets of parents and in-laws creating issues where there should be none simply in an effort to gain a perceived edge in ... something.

Mom's right to have her children not attend church is equal to Dad's right to take them to church. Perhaps she's felt bullied all through her marriage. Perhaps HE feels as if she's walked all over him the entire duration.

Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.