• FreeAdvice has a new Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, effective May 25, 2018.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our Terms of Service and use of cookies.

Need Help With Custody Issue

Accident - Bankruptcy - Criminal Law / DUI - Business - Consumer - Employment - Family - Immigration - Real Estate - Tax - Traffic - Wills   Please click a topic or scroll down for more.

dave1967

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? CT.

Hello. this is the first time I have done this. Here is my situation. I have been divorced now for approximately seven years and legally separated for a little over eight years. My ex-wife and I have joint legal custody with her as the primary custodial parent. She has three boys from a previous marriage who are now grown adults. The middle son is a herion addict and has been for some time. The information came to me through the oldest son she has. I have not talked or had any contact with him in over seven years and then one day he calls me to inform me that he felt our daughter was in danger being in the house. The reasoning he gave was that Brian ( the midle son) was on herion adn had been for some time. He apparantyl got into the wrong crowds and either owed money or stole something. Still unsdure of what. But I do knwo that they threatende the lives of my daughter and my ex-wife if he did not make restitution. Matt (the oldest) took him out of the house and sent him to a rehab center and I am figuring helped him reslove his issue with the people.

Now, he is back at the house with his mother and my daughter and Matt felt it was not a proper envioropmetn for the child to grow up in. He called me and informed me of the above mentioned items and I asked him if hwe had called DCF. He said no and he could not do it and that I should. So, I proceeded to call them and explain the situation to them and they told me they would invstigate the situation. Well, according to them the investigation is closed and that Brian was uncooperative and nothing further coudl be done.

However; since then my ex wife has figured out that i had to be the one that called them and has made my life with my daughter living hell. She is constantly telling her since I remarried over a year ago that I have a new family now and I do nto have time for her and that noone in the house loves her and she does not fit in with the family I have now. Also, that i do not have time for her and that she does not have to go to my house if she does nto want ot. She also is telling my daughter that I lie to ehr and lie to her mother and has been nothing short of verbally abusive to me when I pick up my daughter.

DCF has told me there is nothing else they can do for me and that the best avenue I cna take is to file a motion for custody. my only problem si if I do and I lose I feel the situation will get worse. My daughter is already emotionally crippled and manulipated by my ex wife and now all she does is cry and mope around when she comes to my house and says noone loves her or cares about her. Tells me that my wife does nto like her and that i scream at ehr and yell to much. The funny thing is I do not yell. I use a time out chair and the only times I raise my voice are when I feel imminent danger is near. Like close to a flame or such.

Do, I have a fighting chance in a courtroom without an attorney? I do nto have the resources to hire one. I have two step children and a new baby with my wife and live basically check to check. i bought a house a year and half ago and each of the kids has their own room and plenty of things and I am active with her in the YMCA progrma for dads and daughters which she loves. I just do nto knwo what else to do. Please help. I am a adesperate dad afraid of his daughter becoming emotionally crippled.
 


MikeC.

Junior Member
I preface by saying . .. THIS IS NOT LEGAL ADVICE, simply my experience. I also have a situation whereby I feel my EX (CP) is alienating my daughter. I hired an attorney and have filed for custody. The situation has gone from bad to worse to a downright DISGRACE! My ex doesn't speak to me and does nothing outside the order (which is minimal - EOW). Now I'm stuck with mounting legal fees and a situation spiraling out of control. I would strongly suggest looking at all angles BEFORE filing suit. Sometimes a situation may be bad, but making it worse may prove fatal. And as for attorneys, be careful as you may find that some attorneys are only helpful in helping themselves while you're hang out to dry. Good luck.
 

rmet4nzkx

Senior Member
What are your visitation orders at present? Do you have first right of refusal? Have you discussed any of these issues with your daughter? How old is she?
 

dave1967

Junior Member
rmet4nzkx said:
What are your visitation orders at present? Do you have first right of refusal? Have you discussed any of these issues with your daughter? How old is she?
My visitation orders read I have my daughter every wednesday from nie to the follwoing morning if there si no school (nine a.m.) if there si school i ahve from after school to I drop her off at schoool the next day. I also have every other weekend from five thirty on friday night to sunday at six.
In terms of first refusla I do not knwo what you mean. I have joint legal custody with my ex wife right now.
She is eight and going to be nine in december.
 

rmet4nzkx

Senior Member
If you file for a modification there usually has to be a change in circumstances. You might be able to file to increase your parenting time to include another weeknight overnight and or first right of refusal. First right of refusal gives you the opportunity to care for your child in the event she requires care by someone other than CP, that would at least mean that mom couldn't just leave her in the care of the questionable half brother without you having the opportunity to provide care yourself, you may also file to limit care to specific parties. If you file for split custody, to be primary or to reduce child support you will get more objection than it you ask for somehting reasonable. You could also petition for a Guardian ad Litem be assigned to represent your child's best interest, they may be able to work where CPS wasn't.
 

Find the Right Lawyer for Your Legal Issue!

Fast, Free, and Confidential
data-ad-format="auto">
Top