NEED legal knowledge on the best way to go

[stepmom03]

Oregon- Never had a lawyer in any of this. Husband filed visitation of his son last December (1999). In April things had yet to be signed by a judge and we found out abuse was going on in the exgirlfriends household. Called police (huge story with this), took the child. Filed custody on same case number. Had to give boy back, police said. Her boyfriend was never charged with abuse, never is. In June my husband and his exgirlfrind went to mediation. Agreement: Joint Legal Custody, Shared Physical Custody. Boy is at our house 4.8 days a week, at hers 2.2 days a week. Boy turned 4 on Saturday. Due to the abusive mothers boyfriend we put boy in couseling. He also has a 1 1/2 year old sister of his mom and her boyfriends. Boy beats his little sister, put her in the emergency room on Thursday. His mom sees no problem with this behavior. Tons of reasons for boy in counseling, abuse, mental and physical are the major reasons. Mediation agreement is not yet signed. Alls we have to do is submit the final order in with the judge. However, I spoke with the counselor today. She wants us to file Sole custody of the boy. She doesn't want the mom to have any visitation at all. If we do give her visitation counselor said she wants it only to be supervised and only on holidays. Can we really do this? If we can, is it easier to have a custody agreement modified or should we completely refile new papers. We can turn the mediation agreement in and have the judge sign them and then obtain legal counsel and try to have them modified. Or should we not file the mediation agreemtent and obtain a lawyer and do the custody all over again. I know this will be costly but a 4 year old is depending on us. I've also been told that here in Oregon that a biological mom can receive free representation if she can't afford to obtain an attorney on her own. Does anyone know if this is true?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Counselor wants us to act within the next couple of days. What are our changes with only the counselor on our side? We have all the insidences from the last 1 1/2 documented but there has never been any charges brought against the boyfriend. The boy is also not getting his proper medical treatment at his moms house. He has asthma and 8 of the 10 people living in the household smoke. The boy has been sick for 2 months now. We are doing everything we're supposed to but she won't. Please help is you can.

[Edited by stepmom03 on 11-21-2000 at 05:35 PM]

 

[LegalBeagle]

Oregon- Never had a lawyer in any of this. Husband filed visitation of his son last December (1999). In April things had yet to be signed by a judge and we found out abuse was going on in the exgirlfriends household. Called police (huge story with this), took the child. Filed custody on same case number. Had to give boy back, police said. Her boyfriend was never charged with abuse, never is. In June my husband and his exgirlfrind went to mediation. Agreement: Joint Legal Custody, Shared Physical Custody. Boy is at our house 4.8 days a week, at hers 2.2 days a week. Boy turned 4 on Saturday. Due to the abusive mothers boyfriend we put boy in couseling. He also has a 1 1/2 year old sister of his mom and her boyfriends. Boy beats his little sister, put her in the emergency room on Thursday. His mom sees no problem with this behavior. Tons of reasons for boy in counseling, abuse, mental and physical are the major reasons. Mediation agreement is not yet signed. Alls we have to do is submit the final order in with the judge. However, I spoke with the counselor today. She wants us to file Sole custody of the boy. She doesn't want the mom to have any visitation at all. If we do give her visitation counselor said she wants it only to be supervised and only on holidays. Can we really do this? If we can, is it easier to have a custody agreement modified or should we completely refile new papers. We can turn the mediation agreement in and have the judge sign them and then obtain legal counsel and try to have them modified. Or should we not file the mediation agreemtent and obtain a lawyer and do the custody all over again. I know this will be costly but a 4 year old is depending on us. I've also been told that here in Oregon that a biological mom can receive free representation if she can't afford to obtain an attorney on her own. Does anyone know if this is true?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Counselor wants us to act within the next couple of days. What are our changes with only the counselor on our side? We have all the insidences from the last 1 1/2 documented but there has never been any charges brought against the boyfriend. The boy is also not getting his proper medical treatment at his moms house. He has asthma and 8 of the 10 people living in the household smoke. The boy has been sick for 2 months now. We are doing everything we're supposed to but she won't. Please help is you can.

[Edited by stepmom03 on 11-21-2000 at 05:35 PM]

You need to speak with a local Family Law Attorney. You certainly have grounds for a custody petition but he will need to weight up the agreed order against going straight for custody. Your councelor can be used in the case but remember that you are paying him so that is taken into account.

Call a few attorneys now and get some free consultations. This will help point you in the right direction.