Need some advice please.....

[Zeke007]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Oregon

My son will be 4 years old this coming April. With that being said his mother and myself are not together but try to do whats in the best interest of the child.I am currently in a relationship for a lil over 3 years now that is going downhill and am currently thinking of moving out of state to be with family in Pennsylvania. Ever since my son has been born there has never been no custody agreements, I dont pay child support and never had because if he needed something i just supplied him with it. Now that my relationship is going downhill, I really feel I need to get something in writing for the visitation of my son...I wont get into the dislikes about his Mom as there are 2 sides to every story but I have been on a wild goose chase since my son has been born...bouncing from state to state just to be with him. I realize that at this point in my life I need to make some changes...Ive been involved in my sons life the minute he was born and havent been away from him for no longer than a few weeks...With my current situation and where I am located, there really isnt no job oppurtunity and I came out here for the sole purpose to be with my son. I guess what I am asking is for someone that really cant afford a lawyer what are the best means I can obtain to having visitations for my son....Its really not an option for me to stay here, as I put up with enough but I will feel better knowing that I tried to do what I can to stay involved in my sons life...personally i feel like my son should be with me but i dont want that because his mom is good to him on terms of raising him I just dont like how she involves him in our disagreements..Ie,,keeping him from me when she mad, telling him his rules when he is at my house etc....If someone can please point me in the right direction so I can at least establish some sort of visitations in writing would be greatly appreciated. I live in Coos Bay Oregon. If anyone has any questions feel free to ask as I have nothing to hide, also I dont know if neither one of us not having custody plays a factor into everything...Im completely blind to knowledge of any of this as its my first time having to deal with it

Thanks
William

 

[Isis1]

here's a bit of a kicker. unless a court order says otherwise, mom is the sole custodial parent. she can go anywhere at anytime without your permission.

so, if you have been living in OR for the past 6 months, you need to file to establish paternity/custody/visitation and support.

now, look into long distance parenting for you. you will be most likely responsible for all the transportation as you are the moving parent. so be prepared for that.

 

[Zeke007]

here's a bit of a kicker. unless a court order says otherwise, mom is the sole custodial parent. she can go anywhere at anytime without your permission.

so, if you have been living in OR for the past 6 months, you need to file to establish paternity/custody/visitation and support.

now, look into long distance parenting for you. you will be most likely responsible for all the transportation as you are the moving parent. so be prepared for that.

Ok well I just learned something new. Can you tell me where I would begin to establish this? Do I have to have a lawyer or are there services that are offered for these type of cases?

 

[Proserpina]

Ditto Isis.

Dude, get yourself to court and get all of this court ordered.

It protects ALL of you.

 

[Proserpina]

Ok well I just learned something new. Can you tell me where I would begin to establish this? Do I have to have a lawyer or are there services that are offered for these type of cases?

This is for Oregon:

familylawforms

Tons of information and the self-help forms

 

[Proserpina]

(and if you can give us which county in PA you're thinking about that'd be good too)

 

[CJane]

You don't HAVE to have an attorney. You can file to have paternity established, child support established, and a visitation plan put in place. Even better if Mom will agree to a plan.

You need to wrap your head around the idea that if Mom lives in OR with the child, and you move to PA, you'll likely only get alternating long holidays and 6 weeks in the summer. And until child is old enough to fly alone, you'll be responsible for picking him up and returning him. Even when he's old enough, it's likely you'll be responsible for all transportation costs.

And Mom will be free to live wherever she wants w/in the US at that point, because y'all really can't get any further away from each other than opposite ends of the country.

 

[Zeke007]

This is for Oregon:

familylawforms

Tons of information and the self-help forms

Can you make that a clickable link? I copy and pasted but it says not found.

 

[Zeke007]

(and if you can give us which county in PA you're thinking about that'd be good too)

It would be Luzerne County

 

[Proserpina]

You don't HAVE to have an attorney. You can file to have paternity established, child support established, and a visitation plan put in place. Even better if Mom will agree to a plan.

You need to wrap your head around the idea that if Mom lives in OR with the child, and you move to PA, you'll likely only get alternating long holidays and 6 weeks in the summer. And until child is old enough to fly alone, you'll be responsible for picking him up and returning him. Even when he's old enough, it's likely you'll be responsible for all transportation costs.

And Mom will be free to live wherever she wants w/in the US at that point, because y'all really can't get any further away from each other than opposite ends of the country.

Given that I eventually went from PA, to ND, to WA..oh gosh. OP, if you want to see your child with any kind of regularity, please rethink moving back to PA.

 

[Zeke007]

You don't HAVE to have an attorney. You can file to have paternity established, child support established, and a visitation plan put in place. Even better if Mom will agree to a plan.

You need to wrap your head around the idea that if Mom lives in OR with the child, and you move to PA, you'll likely only get alternating long holidays and 6 weeks in the summer. And until child is old enough to fly alone, you'll be responsible for picking him up and returning him. Even when he's old enough, it's likely you'll be responsible for all transportation costs.

And Mom will be free to live wherever she wants w/in the US at that point, because y'all really can't get any further away from each other than opposite ends of the country.

Yeah I understand, although I dont seem to agree with it all but it is what it is I suppose...I just need to do something, whatever it takes. If I have to pay for transportation then so be it.

 

[Proserpina]

Can you make that a clickable link? I copy and pasted but it says not found.

Sure can. I'll try and dig up something for Luzerne Co too.

Original OR link: http://tinyurl.com/Oregon-pro-se-family-law-info

 

[Zeke007]

Given that I eventually went from PA, to ND, to WA..oh gosh. OP, if you want to see your child with any kind of regularity, please rethink moving back to PA.

My son was born in Houston Texas. From there Ive been to Washington and now Oregon leaving good jobs because she can never make up her mind what family she wants to be around. Where I am located now is a small town right along the coast, no oppurtunity whatsoever but her family is here.

 

[Proserpina]

My son was born in Houston Texas. From there Ive been to Washington and now Oregon leaving good jobs because she can never make up her mind what family she wants to be around. Where I am located now is a small town right along the coast, no oppurtunity whatsoever but her family is here.

I do understand - but your son is YOUR family too. Y'know? You may have to ask yourself at some point, which is more important.