Need some advice....

[MartinDB]

What is the name of your state? GA

I need some advice on what is likely to happen in my situation. I have been reading and have consulted with a couple of lawyers. However, I take their wisdom with a grain of salt at this point since they may be telling me what I want to hear in order to get my business. Here is my situation:

Married 15 years with two kids, 13 & 15.
Wife has not worked during marriage other than staring a business two years ago that loses about $5-10K/year.
I have averaged about $140K/year in income over the past five years.
Wife has a college degree that she has not used since before marriage.
Wife says she can’t work for anyone because she can’t handle it. (the reality is her aggressive/defensive personality gets her in trouble all the time.)
Wife has committed adultery that I can prove (although I’m not sure of the exact definition of ‘prove’).
Wife had a one-nighter with another woman that I can’t prove other than her instant message logs, which I have.
Wife started smoking pot with her friends and growing it in the house. (I have pictures)
I have no problem splitting our assets 50/50.
We are both living at home in separate bed rooms.

I have no doubt that I can provide a better, more stable home for our kids and I intend to seek/fight for custody of the kids. Depending on the day of the week she may roll over or fight to the death. I do believe I will prevail. Since she has no income she will owe me no child support and I don’t really need it but it may be handy as a lever to make her behave like an adult post divorce.

Given the length of marriage and her lack of a career I would typically be on the hook for significant alimony. However, GA law says that in the case of adultery no alimony is owed. Is this true? Are there any caveats, exceptions or things a need to be aware of around this?

If I do pay her alimony is it reasonable for her to pay me 28% (GA standard) of that for child support?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? GA

I need some advice on what is likely to happen in my situation. I have been reading and have consulted with a couple of lawyers. However, I take their wisdom with a grain of salt at this point since they may be telling me what I want to hear in order to get my business. Here is my situation:

Married 15 years with two kids, 13 & 15.
Wife has not worked during marriage other than staring a business two years ago that loses about $5-10K/year.
I have averaged about $140K/year in income over the past five years.
Wife has a college degree that she has not used since before marriage.
Wife says she can’t work for anyone because she can’t handle it. (the reality is her aggressive/defensive personality gets her in trouble all the time.)
Wife has committed adultery that I can prove (although I’m not sure of the exact definition of ‘prove’).
Wife had a one-nighter with another woman that I can’t prove other than her instant message logs, which I have.
Wife started smoking pot with her friends and growing it in the house. (I have pictures)
I have no problem splitting our assets 50/50.
We are both living at home in separate bed rooms.

I have no doubt that I can provide a better, more stable home for our kids and I intend to seek/fight for custody of the kids. Depending on the day of the week she may roll over or fight to the death. I do believe I will prevail. Since she has no income she will owe me no child support and I don’t really need it but it may be handy as a lever to make her behave like an adult post divorce.

Given the length of marriage and her lack of a career I would typically be on the hook for significant alimony. However, GA law says that in the case of adultery no alimony is owed. Is this true? Are there any caveats, exceptions or things a need to be aware of around this?

If I do pay her alimony is it reasonable for her to pay me 28% (GA standard) of that for child support?

I can understand that you want custody of your kids. I can understand that you don't want to have to pay alimony or child support. However your kids are teenagers. They are old enough to understand what is going on and to find out the details of the accusations you plan to make against their mother.
Do you really want to go this route? At a minimum you are going to make this divorce much more destructive to your children.

That aside, the picture of growing pot may be enough to get you custody...but personally I think its iffy. How do you prove that the pictures are of HER pot? She could just as easily claim its yours.

I am also not certain that an instant message log is enough to legally prove adultery.

Your 15 year old is old enough to choose who gets custody in GA, if you can't prove mom unfit...the judge would probably give a decent amount of weight to the 13 year old's wishes too.

Again, please take your children into consideration here and make this divorce the least destructive on them as possible. They should be your first priority.

 

[candym]

What is the name of your state? GA

I need some advice on what is likely to happen in my situation. I have been reading and have consulted with a couple of lawyers. However, I take their wisdom with a grain of salt at this point since they may be telling me what I want to hear in order to get my business. Here is my situation:

Married 15 years with two kids, 13 & 15.
Wife has not worked during marriage other than staring a business two years ago that loses about $5-10K/year.
I have averaged about $140K/year in income over the past five years.
Wife has a college degree that she has not used since before marriage.
Wife says she can’t work for anyone because she can’t handle it. (the reality is her aggressive/defensive personality gets her in trouble all the time.)
Wife has committed adultery that I can prove (although I’m not sure of the exact definition of ‘prove’).
Wife had a one-nighter with another woman that I can’t prove other than her instant message logs, which I have.
Wife started smoking pot with her friends and growing it in the house. (I have pictures)
I have no problem splitting our assets 50/50.
We are both living at home in separate bed rooms.

I have no doubt that I can provide a better, more stable home for our kids and I intend to seek/fight for custody of the kids. Depending on the day of the week she may roll over or fight to the death. I do believe I will prevail. Since she has no income she will owe me no child support and I don’t really need it but it may be handy as a lever to make her behave like an adult post divorce.

Given the length of marriage and her lack of a career I would typically be on the hook for significant alimony. However, GA law says that in the case of adultery no alimony is owed. Is this true? Are there any caveats, exceptions or things a need to be aware of around this?

If I do pay her alimony is it reasonable for her to pay me 28% (GA standard) of that for child support?

A friend Daughter went thru what you’re going thru. It backfired on her. Her kids were picked up by child services for having pot growing in the house. It was his, both got a big fine and it took over a year for them to get the kids back. They both had to go thru parent Class lots of court hearings. She got the kids back a year and a month or two later. He had to pay alimony and she got Child support when she got the kids back… It was a big mess… The kids were separated went in different foster homes. One was a 13-year-old boy and the other was a girl 14…. Hope this helps you think what you will be putting your kids thru. If I were you I would go in and throw that stuff out and get it away from your kids. You are responsible too for what’s in your house. I do hope this will help you and some one else that might read this.

 

[MartinDB]

custody and support

In my situation I believe any short-term trauma to my kids from custody or divorce nastiness will be overshadowed by the much more stable home I can and do provide for them. I'm hoping I can just lay out the evidence and have her cave upon her lawyer's advice and avoid the public airing of dirty laundry - truely the best outcome for the kids. I know this assumes her lawyer is a realist. If that fails, I'll fight it, not because I don't want to pay her CS or because I want to get even but because it's best for the kids.

Also, the pot is no longer in the house.

On the alimony issue I can have a marriage counselor testify that she admitted to adultery in a session with us. Of course her friends wouldn't testify to that effect, although they know.

If I can establish adultery then can I avoid alimony. I'm trying to force her to get a job and earn some kind of living. I don't mind paying her for a year or so while she gets her feet on the ground. She will get over a $100K in cash as well.

Although GA law says that if you commit adultery you get no alimony does that indeed actually work out that way or are there loopholes and landmines I need to watch out for?

Thanks