• FreeAdvice has a new Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, effective May 25, 2018.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our Terms of Service and use of cookies.

Need some guidance, please

Accident - Bankruptcy - Criminal Law / DUI - Business - Consumer - Employment - Family - Immigration - Real Estate - Tax - Traffic - Wills   Please click a topic or scroll down for more.

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Kentucky

I am Medical and DPOA for my mother (76 yo). My step-sister is DPOA for my step-father, her other sister is Medical. They were married in 1/94

Due to a hemorragic stroke in 12/07, my step-sister envoked POA on her Dad. He has a brain injury and his short term memory in non-existant. He has macular degeneration and cannot hear very well. This is when my mother learned that POA's had been given 2 years earlier when both of his daughters took him to make a Will, which she still has not seen a copy of. My mother was in a nursing home recovering from a broken leg, I had her placed for rehab and safety concerns.

While at my brothers home, my mother went into respiratory failure. She was found with my step-dad holding her, due to the brain injury he was not able to determine the seriousness of the incident. Mom was put on life support, she was not expected to survive. After a several week stay in the hospital, she is doing much better.

Since this occured, her Doctor has stated that she can no longer care for my step-father. His constant care is deteriorating my Mothers health. Also, she must have someone with her at all times, since he isn't able to respond to an emergency situation they could no longer live alone in their home. Their closest neighbors are Amish and the rural hospital cannot handle my Mom's level of need/care.

My mother was moved in with my brother, we explained to my step-fathers family that they would have to make alternate arrangements for him. They were not happy, they wanted my brother to take him on as well or to put them both in a nursing home. Our goal is to keep my Mom out of a home, if at all possible.

They have passed him around the family, the daughter with the POA is retired, but has absolutely no desire to care for her Dad. "She wants her time" and "she can't handle it, he gets up 3 times a night" was a direct quote. They put him in a assisted living facility, he was put out after 1 week since he wanders from room to room looking for my Mom. A lady came at him with a pair of scissors. They had also found him across the street. I care very much for my step-dad, I have offered to take a LOA from work to care for him, I have been the one looking after both of them for several years now.

They have decided that they are just going to put him in a lockdown facility, since he is declining rapidly since my mother is no longer around (he lives for her, I wish I had that kind of love) That is their choice to do.

Now, we discovered today, my Mother's name is not on the Deed to the property. It was purchased in 7/92, they married in 1/94. During the course of the marriage, they refinanced but my Mom only signed the Mortgage. She wasn't aware that they were 2 very different documents. What does she need to do to ensure that her maritial interest is protected? The step-sister has already spoke of selling the property and has cashed in all of her Dad's CD's (incurring penalties)

She has also requested the propane tank be removed (citing both were in nursing homes) and requested that the electric & water be turned off. Despite the fact that we spoke & agreed turning those things off would not be a good idea since there is food in the freezer & her or I are not ready to go on a cleanup spree. Plus, those services would be needed to clean things up. Since she requested the shutoffs, everything has now been put into my mothers name.

Any advice on where I should begin to address the property issue. I know this was not his intent, heck everyone knows it. I just don't think either of them realized that the proper documents had not been signed.
 


BlondiePB

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Kentucky

I am Medical and DPOA for my mother (76 yo). My step-sister is DPOA for my step-father, her other sister is Medical. They were married in 1/94

Due to a hemorragic stroke in 12/07, my step-sister envoked POA on her Dad. He has a brain injury and his short term memory in non-existant. He has macular degeneration and cannot hear very well. This is when my mother learned that POA's had been given 2 years earlier when both of his daughters took him to make a Will, which she still has not seen a copy of. My mother was in a nursing home recovering from a broken leg, I had her placed for rehab and safety concerns.

While at my brothers home, my mother went into respiratory failure. She was found with my step-dad holding her, due to the brain injury he was not able to determine the seriousness of the incident. Mom was put on life support, she was not expected to survive. After a several week stay in the hospital, she is doing much better.

Since this occured, her Doctor has stated that she can no longer care for my step-father. His constant care is deteriorating my Mothers health. Also, she must have someone with her at all times, since he isn't able to respond to an emergency situation they could no longer live alone in their home. Their closest neighbors are Amish and the rural hospital cannot handle my Mom's level of need/care.

My mother was moved in with my brother, we explained to my step-fathers family that they would have to make alternate arrangements for him. They were not happy, they wanted my brother to take him on as well or to put them both in a nursing home. Our goal is to keep my Mom out of a home, if at all possible.

They have passed him around the family, the daughter with the POA is retired, but has absolutely no desire to care for her Dad. "She wants her time" and "she can't handle it, he gets up 3 times a night" was a direct quote. They put him in a assisted living facility, he was put out after 1 week since he wanders from room to room looking for my Mom. A lady came at him with a pair of scissors. They had also found him across the street. I care very much for my step-dad, I have offered to take a LOA from work to care for him, I have been the one looking after both of them for several years now.

They have decided that they are just going to put him in a lockdown facility, since he is declining rapidly since my mother is no longer around (he lives for her, I wish I had that kind of love) That is their choice to do.

Now, we discovered today, my Mother's name is not on the Deed to the property. It was purchased in 7/92, they married in 1/94. During the course of the marriage, they refinanced but my Mom only signed the Mortgage. She wasn't aware that they were 2 very different documents. What does she need to do to ensure that her maritial interest is protected? The step-sister has already spoke of selling the property and has cashed in all of her Dad's CD's (incurring penalties)

She has also requested the propane tank be removed (citing both were in nursing homes) and requested that the electric & water be turned off. Despite the fact that we spoke & agreed turning those things off would not be a good idea since there is food in the freezer & her or I are not ready to go on a cleanup spree. Plus, those services would be needed to clean things up. Since she requested the shutoffs, everything has now been put into my mothers name.

Any advice on where I should begin to address the property issue. I know this was not his intent, heck everyone knows it. I just don't think either of them realized that the proper documents had not been signed.
Your mom & step-dad need to be together with 24/7 care. If you are willing to be guardian of both of them, see an Elder Law attorney. While there, inquire about the home.
 
Thank you for responding

To be quite honest, I couldn't handle both of them. I did offer to take my step-father, however his daughter, that is also an RN, feels in the very near future, he will need more advance care. She stated to me that if she was able to care for him, she didn't feel it would be long before it would be too much for her. She believes, as do we all, that he has had "mini" strokes since his hemorragic and that, combined with age, is worsening his condition.

My mother is not at a point where she needs to be placed in a nursing home. At some point in the future she may be, but not right now. She is on oxygen and needs help getting in and out of the shower (she gets very short of breath) but, she is still able to come and go as she pleases. My SIL has been her "buddy" since she came out of the hospital. The arrangement with her living with my brother is working out well, she seems to be getting stronger. He encourages her to get out & do things. Prior to, she used to sit at home just watching and caring for my step-father & never went anywhere.

Her Doctor feels that her being around him was draining her (I know that sounds horrible, but it is true) As much as I love him, he does require 24/7 care and is very clingy to my Mom and requires constant attention. It was her Doctors suggestion that he not come to my brothers home if we placed her there or if they were in a nursing facility, for them not to be placed together.

I am seeking a consult with an Attorney, it's just that so much other is going on right now. I was just hoping someone could give some insight about the property issue. Thank you.

My step-father is 87 yo, I failed to mention that in my first post
 
Last edited:

BlondiePB

Senior Member
To be quite honest, I couldn't handle both of them. I did offer to take my step-father, however his daughter, that is also an RN, feels in the very near future, he will need more advance care. She stated to me that if she was able to care for him, she didn't feel it would be long before it would be too much for her. She believes, as do we all, that he has had "mini" strokes since his hemorragic and that, combined with age, is worsening his condition.

My mother is not at a point where she needs to be placed in a nursing home. At some point in the future she may be, but not right now. She is on oxygen and needs help getting in and out of the shower (she gets very short of breath) but, she is still able to come and go as she pleases. My SIL has been her "buddy" since she came out of the hospital. The arrangement with her living with my brother is working out well, she seems to be getting stronger. He encourages her to get out & do things. Prior to, she used to sit at home just watching and caring for my step-father & never went anywhere.

Her Doctor feels that her being around him was draining her (I know that sounds horrible, but it is true) As much as I love him, he does require 24/7 care and is very clingy to my Mom and requires constant attention. It was her Doctors suggestion that he not come to my brothers home if we placed her there or if they were in a nursing facility, for them not to be placed together.

I am seeking a consult with an Attorney, it's just that so much other is going on right now. I was just hoping someone could give some insight about the property issue. Thank you.

My step-father is 87 yo, I failed to mention that in my first post
Guardians have the right to hire caretakers (they must be licensed & insured). You do not have to be the one doing the 24/7 hands on care.

Guardians are the keepers of a ward's will. The will can be presented to a judge for it's validity.

When it comes to real estate and second marriages, typically the spouse receives a life estate when the surviving spouse is the one who comes to the marriage without the real estate. That real estate, rightfully, should go to the children of the spouse who owned the property.

When there is a married couple where both of them require a guardian and assests need to be liquidated for their care, a judge can make a ruling regarding the distribution of the monies.

Should mom pass before her husband, you can always turn over guardianship of step-dad back to his family via petitioning the court to be discharged as his guardian.

Keep in mind, there are limited guardianships & plenary. Limited is over either person or estate. Plenary is over both person & estate.
 

Find the Right Lawyer for Your Legal Issue!

Fast, Free, and Confidential
data-ad-format="auto">
Top