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Needing child support

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aliciarhae

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? AR, but TX has jurisdiction

My ex-husband stopped paying child support 15 weeks ago. The TX OAG opened a case in December, but it is still in the "assessment" process. Meanwhile, my ex filed a suit to reduce his payment amounts. I have agreed to the reduced amount but have not heard anything from my lawyer about a final settlement draft. I have paid almost $3000 in legal fees and with no child support, I barely have money to just make ends meet. What can I do to get current child support as well as the support in arrears? In the process, what do I do if I don't have the gas money to meet my ex for his visitation (he hasn't wanted to see our son since Christmas, but spring break is coming up and I fear he'll want him then)?
 


Zephyr

Senior Member
What is the name of your state? AR, but TX has jurisdiction

My ex-husband stopped paying child support 15 weeks ago. The TX OAG opened a case in December, but it is still in the "assessment" process. Meanwhile, my ex filed a suit to reduce his payment amounts. I have agreed to the reduced amount but have not heard anything from my lawyer about a final settlement draft. I have paid almost $3000 in legal fees and with no child support, I barely have money to just make ends meet. What can I do to get current child support as well as the support in arrears? In the process, what do I do if I don't have the gas money to meet my ex for his visitation (he hasn't wanted to see our son since Christmas, but spring break is coming up and I fear he'll want him then)?
this is exactly why it's soo important to structure one's budget so that the loss of cs is not devestating

you just have to wait for the process to unfold
 

OhReally?

Member
In the process, what do I do if I don't have the gas money to meet my ex for his visitation
That's YOUR problem -- not his. If you can't afford to fuel your auto, then you need to cut back YOUR expenses or get supplemental employment. Child Support is NOT for your benefit as a way to make ends' meet. That's YOUR responsibility.

Argue all you want, but that's the cold, hard truth and reality.
 

maryjo

Member
That's YOUR problem -- not his. If you can't afford to fuel your auto, then you need to cut back YOUR expenses or get supplemental employment. Child Support is NOT for your benefit as a way to make ends' meet. That's YOUR responsibility.

Argue all you want, but that's the cold, hard truth and reality.
While I agree with you, its not always as simple as that for some people. When my ex and I seperated I had been a stay at home mom for 15 months at HIS urging. He then threw me and our son out because there was another woman who was more important to him. We had NOTHING! The few things we owned I packed into garbage bags and took with me. If it hadnt been for my parents we would have been living on the street. Its been almost 2 years and I am JUST getting to the point where I am not dependent on child support...and only then because we still live with my parents for now. I went back to work immediately after we split but its not easy starting over, especially from nothing. He had racked up my credit cards before we seperated and then I got stuck with the bills. Even the ones he was court ordered to pay half of. I havent seen a dime of that. But I paid them off. I got completely out of debt. I have been working two jobs. My next step is to get enough money saved up to get my our own place. I dont know WHEN thats going to happen. They just opened some apartments down the street from here (not a bad neighborhood but not a ritzy part of town by any means) and they are $800 dollars a month for a one bedroom/one bathroom!!! I am being considered for a promotion at one of my jobs which would keep me from having to get a THIRD job and maybe even make it so I dont have to work the second one anymore unless I want to.

So I said all that to say this, while some people DO expect their ex to pay child support to support them so they dont have to do it themselves, MOST people arent like that. They are just being honest that they cant make ends meet without it. I know most of the child support I receive goes to our son's tuition. The rest goes to clothes, school supplies, etc. I try very hard not to use that money for anything not pertaining to him. I am not on government assistance (although I might have to if I want to get my own place...:( ). To add to it, I voluntarily drive an hour round trip, twice every other weekend, to meet my ex to drop off and pick up our son because HE choose to move almost 2 hours away to live with his girlfriend. Gas just went up to $3.19 here. So I completely understand not having the money to put gas in the car just because there was no child support.

Its very scary, especially if its the first time there is no child support coming in. The first time it happend to me I freaked out and thats when I realized I had to get better control over MY finances so that if this happend again (and it did) I wouldnt be in such a mess. My ex is about 1600 dollars behind but IS currently paying child support.

Anyway, to the OP...is there a court order that you have to drive to meet him with son?
 
I was feeling sympathetic until I read this...

i agree. i was raised in the public school system and i turned out fine. graduated college and make a decent middle class living. private school is a luxury if you can afford it. i don't think its a necessity.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
While I agree with you, its not always as simple as that for some people. When my ex and I seperated I had been a stay at home mom for 15 months at HIS urging.
Then you made a choice NOT to work.

He then threw me and our son out because there was another woman who was more important to him.
YOU made a choice to leave.
We had NOTHING! The few things we owned I packed into garbage bags and took with me. If it hadnt been for my parents we would have been living on the street. Its been almost 2 years and I am JUST getting to the point where I am not dependent on child support...and only then because we still live with my parents for now.
Okay.

I went back to work immediately after we split but its not easy starting over, especially from nothing. He had racked up my credit cards before we seperated and then I got stuck with the bills.
You weren't working before you split YET you HAD credit cards? You weren't being fiscally smart.

Even the ones he was court ordered to pay half of. I havent seen a dime of that.
Did you take him back to court for contempt?

But I paid them off. I got completely out of debt. I have been working two jobs. My next step is to get enough money saved up to get my our own place. I dont know WHEN thats going to happen. They just opened some apartments down the street from here (not a bad neighborhood but not a ritzy part of town by any means) and they are $800 dollars a month for a one bedroom/one bathroom!!! I am being considered for a promotion at one of my jobs which would keep me from having to get a THIRD job and maybe even make it so I dont have to work the second one anymore unless I want to.
Okay.

So I said all that to say this, while some people DO expect their ex to pay child support to support them so they dont have to do it themselves, MOST people arent like that.
Okay.

They are just being honest that they cant make ends meet without it. I know most of the child support I receive goes to our son's tuition.
Then you are not being money wise. As everyone else has said, PUBLIC SCHOOL is FREE! You made a choice.

The rest goes to clothes, school supplies, etc.
Do you buy clothes at good will? Buy school supplies on sale? Use coupons?

I try very hard not to use that money for anything not pertaining to him. I am not on government assistance (although I might have to if I want to get my own place...:( ). To add to it, I voluntarily drive an hour round trip, twice every other weekend, to meet my ex to drop off and pick up our son because HE choose to move almost 2 hours away to live with his girlfriend. Gas just went up to $3.19 here. So I completely understand not having the money to put gas in the car just because there was no child support.
Gas is expensive EVERYWHERE. Why are you VOLUNTARILY driving an hour round trip? Which by the way is NOT a lot. That is another choice.

Its very scary, especially if its the first time there is no child support coming in. The first time it happend to me I freaked out and thats when I realized I had to get better control over MY finances so that if this happend again (and it did) I wouldnt be in such a mess. My ex is about 1600 dollars behind but IS currently paying child support.
Okay.
Anyway, to the OP...is there a court order that you have to drive to meet him with son?
Is there a court order for you to drive?

But here is the thing -- YOU made a lot of choices which were bad choices. No one forced you to make those choices. NO one forced you to stay home. YOU CHOSE that. YOU CHOSE PRIVATE SCHOOL (and that bill). YOU chose many things. And therefore YOU also CHOSE the consequences.
 

CJane

Senior Member
When I first read it, I thought maybe a tuition savings account? Ya know, for college later?
I was just going on the fact that she said she was a stay at home for 15 months and it's been 2 years. So I'm guessing the hijacker's kid is only 3-ish.

Just guessing. Because I have nothing else to do. But continuing to hijack this thread is going to make Silver cry.
 

fairisfair

Senior Member
I am gonna take a leap with Janie and suggest that maybe we stick with the OP on this thread???

and let MaryJoHIjackeress open her own???

yeah, silver will cry and my head will explode.
 

CJane

Senior Member
I am gonna take a leap with Janie and suggest that maybe we stick with the OP on this thread???

and let MaryJoHIjackeress open her own???

yeah, silver will cry and my head will explode.
I really really don't want your head to explode.

Though, you could post in Totalwreck's thread on the personal injury board and he could help you figure out if Mary would have to pay you damages for your explosion.
 
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