Neglect Charge from Ex

[Ldf31072]

Hello,
My ex hasn't kept my 13 year old overnight (in Michigan) since last October, 2019. He hasn't pressed the issue. I didn't force her to therapy after several sessions that didn't go well. She is on an anti-anxiety medication prescribed by her pediatrician. He has started to mandate that she stay with him (and his new live-in girlfriend and her children). He carries their insurance. I forgot to send medications for her overnight stay this weekend. He said that he will include "neglect" in his court-ordered therapy motion that I can expect. He also says that I'm brainwashing her - and says he has hours and hours of recordings prior to the divorce. Any help is appreciated. He is a bully, and he is escalating because she doesn't like being there. Can he record my phone messages or read my text messages with her? Her phone plan is in him name as well. Can he bring me up on neglect charges? We have joint custody. He never initiated therapy for her. He doesn't even have clothing at his home for her. He gave her bedroom to his girlfriend's children and threw her mattress in her little Sister's room. What should I do at this point? My children are my life, and they always have been.

 

[Just Blue]

Hello,
My ex hasn't kept my 13 year old overnight (in Michigan) since last October, 2019. He hasn't pressed the issue. I didn't force her to therapy after several sessions that didn't go well. She is on an anti-anxiety medication prescribed by her pediatrician. He has started to mandate that she stay with him (and his new live-in girlfriend and her children). He carries their insurance. I forgot to send medications for her overnight stay this weekend. He said that he will include "neglect" in his court-ordered therapy motion that I can expect. He also says that I'm brainwashing her - and says he has hours and hours of recordings prior to the divorce. Any help is appreciated. He is a bully, and he is escalating because she doesn't like being there. Can he record my phone messages or read my text messages with her? Her phone plan is in him name as well. Can he bring me up on neglect charges? We have joint custody. He never initiated therapy for her. He doesn't even have clothing at his home for her. He gave her bedroom to his girlfriend's children and threw her mattress in her little Sister's room. What should I do at this point? My children are my life, and they always have been.

Is there a court order for therapy?
Please clarify "I didn't force her to therapy after several sessions that didn't go well".
In what way didn't they go well?
Why was she in therapy to begin with?

Sharing a room with her sister is not a big deal. Children do not have to have their own room.

 

[stealth2]

Hello,
My ex hasn't kept my 13 year old overnight (in Michigan) since last October, 2019. He hasn't pressed the issue. I didn't force her to therapy after several sessions that didn't go well. She is on an anti-anxiety medication prescribed by her pediatrician. He has started to mandate that she stay with him (and his new live-in girlfriend and her children). He carries their insurance. I forgot to send medications for her overnight stay this weekend. He said that he will include "neglect" in his court-ordered therapy motion that I can expect. He also says that I'm brainwashing her - and says he has hours and hours of recordings prior to the divorce. Any help is appreciated. He is a bully, and he is escalating because she doesn't like being there. Can he record my phone messages or read my text messages with her? Her phone plan is in him name as well. Can he bring me up on neglect charges? We have joint custody. He never initiated therapy for her. He doesn't even have clothing at his home for her. He gave her bedroom to his girlfriend's children and threw her mattress in her little Sister's room. What should I do at this point? My children are my life, and they always have been.

Recordings prior to the divorce are a non-starter.

At 13, your daughter is quite old enough to make sure she has prescription meds with her, even if just reminding you.

Ditto the above questions about therapy. And if she needs it, "but he didn't either" is not going to fly with a judge. Therapy could help her learn to cope with a situation she doesn't like - there will be many more in her life.

My kids both shared bedrooms with their step sibs - even before their Dad remarried. Another non-starter.

If he only has her the occasional w/e, I wouldn't expect him to have clothes for her. My ex didn't, except for extended parenting time and/or"appropriate clothes" for whatever he had planned. Also a non-starter. (She's also old enough to pack for herself.)

Most parents keep tabs on their kid's cell phones/usage.

As for the "brainwashing"... if your discussions w/daughter don't support their relationship? You might consider some counseling for yourself, as well. As the custodial parent, it is incumbent upon you to encourage their relationship.

 

[LdiJ]

Hello,
My ex hasn't kept my 13 year old overnight (in Michigan) since last October, 2019. He hasn't pressed the issue. I didn't force her to therapy after several sessions that didn't go well. She is on an anti-anxiety medication prescribed by her pediatrician. He has started to mandate that she stay with him (and his new live-in girlfriend and her children). He carries their insurance. I forgot to send medications for her overnight stay this weekend. He said that he will include "neglect" in his court-ordered therapy motion that I can expect. He also says that I'm brainwashing her - and says he has hours and hours of recordings prior to the divorce. Any help is appreciated. He is a bully, and he is escalating because she doesn't like being there. Can he record my phone messages or read my text messages with her? Her phone plan is in him name as well. Can he bring me up on neglect charges? We have joint custody. He never initiated therapy for her. He doesn't even have clothing at his home for her. He gave her bedroom to his girlfriend's children and threw her mattress in her little Sister's room. What should I do at this point? My children are my life, and they always have been.

Ok, take a big deep breath. He is not going to be able to get you on neglect charges for forgetting to send her medication for her overnight stay this weekend. Just take the meds she needs over there if you can. He may very well be able to force the issue of therapy however, and then you will be required to send her whether you think it is going well or not. You may however be able to get another therapist who may work better for her.

As you said, he is a bully, so you should take the "hours of recordings" and the "brainwashing" bit with a grain of salt. A judge will never listen to hours and hours of recordings and the cost of transcribing those records would be enormous.

He is not required to provide her a bedroom at his house. A mattress on the floor of her sister's bedroom is completely adequate. Having clothing for her there is she is only staying one night at a time isn't really required either.

He should not be recording your phone conversations with the child nor reading your text messages and that is something that you can counter motion if he actually takes you back to court.