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Neice having baby

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momof2golfers

Guest
What is the name of your state? Georgia

My neice is 5 months preg and not married. If she does not marry this guy what is the best way to handle this situation. Should she put his name on the birth certificate, should she give the baby her last name or his? How should she go about getting child support?

I do not feel she should get married right now because he has been abusive in the past. She will have to go to school, work and raise a child, I do not think she should make another mistake and marry this guy( he is very controlling and will not come to her parents house, if she wants to see him she goes to where he is).
Her parents are very supportive and will help her raise the child.
 


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cjmom

Guest
I was not married when I had my son. I live in Michigan, I don't know how different things might be, but anyhow, here is what I know......

Birth Certificate: I was told the father had to be present to get his name on it. The father in my case was incarcerated and couldn't be there. After his release and 11 months later, a paternity test was done and he signed the papers acknowledging paternity, but he had to contact someone to have his name added to the certificate.

Last Names: I was told (don't knowif it is true or not) by someone in the hospital that I could give him any last name; mine, the fathers or and name I made up. They also told me if I gave him the Dads name and down the road wanted it chanded to mine it would be very difficult, yet if I gave him my last name and decided that I wanted him to have his dad's last name in the future it would be easier to change then. So, I gave him my last name.

Child support: I, unforunately, was on state aid for 2 months before and 2 months after my son's birth, so the Family Independance Agency initiated the child support. He requested the paternity test, even though he knew he was the father, and they set it after that. The test really isn't a bad thing to do even you know the truth.

I feel like I rambled on and on and I don't know if any of this will help. Good luck.
 
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Beth Pouncey

Guest
I think cjmom is mostly correct. I live in GA and am going through an extremely similar situation, and I will tell you what my lawyer told me.

Whether she wants his name on the birth certificate or not is completely up to her at this moment. He can get his name on the BC at a later date, but I am unsure of whether a paternity test is necessary if the mother acknowledges paternity. However, if she doesn't acknowledge paternity, a PT will have to be done.

Whether she wants the child to have her last name or his is also completely up to her. In my opinion, if she is not planning on marrying the father, she should give the child her last name...but that's just me. Cjmom is right about making up a last name...it's crazy but you can do that! :)

This is also just my opinion, but I think it is better to have everything done legally, just so it is documented (as far as CS). I am having visitation and CS established legally when my child is born. But, I am not with the bio father and am not on good terms with him. If she is with the BF or is on good terms, I think it would be great if they could agree out of court. I would still draw up an agreement and have both parties sign it though.

I hope this helped! I was wondering...where does your niece live in GA?
 
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momof2golfers

Guest
"Good people do not need laws to tell them to act
responsibly, while bad people will find a way
around the laws."---Plato


What does this mean? Do you think good people never make mistakes? My niece made a very bad mistake and will have to live the rest of her life with this decision, but I am sure you have never made a bad decision. She is not trying to find a way around anything, we are trying to make sure everything is done right, for the baby sake. The child comes first now and that is all that matters now. I thought this was a place to get good advise not to be ridicule for the mistakes you make. I just found this site and thought someone who had gone through this could help us through it. Should have none people like you would give their unwanted opinions also. You just can not help yourself, that is what is inside of you and unfortuntely is what comes out. Thanks for nothing.
 

haiku

Senior Member
mom of 2 golfers!!!

Please, what you are refering to in the last post was something called a signature line!!

It was in NO way refering to your post. It is something that RyeRye signs off with everytime she posts. A lot of people will sign off posts with a favorite qoutation like that....

She was bumping up your post so that it runs at the top of the board and more people will see it to give you help!

As far as your question goes......

your neice can name the baby anything she likes. With or without his last name, if he is the bio-dad, he IS the bio-dad.

Be aware that if she EVER needs public assistance for the child she will have to name the father.

if she wants support from the father, the father DOES have the right to be involved with the child, no matter how 'bad" a person he is.

All of his rights to the child, though, are HIS responsibility to get. He must file fo rvisitation, and if he desires some form of custody. if he si interested in being in his childs life, most common would be physical custody with mom, visitation for him. And both of them share legal custody. But thats only a common example, he may not want anything.
 
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pthalo

Guest
so what I am hearing...

So you came to a free advice board and received advice.. You didn't like what you heard.. You read someone's signature and didn't understand it.. You got sh***y b/c you thought the signature was directed at you even though you didn't know what it meant...

Advice is another form of opinion.. You can take it or leave it, but don't expect every opinion to be exactly what you wanted to hear...
 
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pthalo

Guest
32 OZ Coke....

Wide awake but kinda snappy today.. Alot of stress over the weekend...
 

CMSC

Senior Member
HOLY CRAP!

What in the hell is wrong with you people! First I am kind enough to bump up two posts and I get my a** ripped for it! Forget it I am done. First the whole post I bumped up and said, "trying to get rid of disgusting pictures" and the lady goes off on a tangent because she thought I was talking about her pictures and now this! I guess I picked the wrong posts to bump up.

momof2golfers, I wasn't even refering to you so get over it! Besides that your niece did nothing illegal so my quote doesn't even apply to you and your self pity trip.:mad:
 
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pthalo

Guest
grooooowwl... ruff, ruff....

c'mon take the leash off.. Let me at'em Let me at'em....
 

haiku

Senior Member
Re: HOLY CRAP!

ryry's mom said:
What in the hell is wrong with you people! First I am kind enough to bump up two posts and I get my a** ripped for it! Forget it I am done. First the whole post I bumped up and said, "trying to get rid of disgusting pictures" and the lady goes off on a tangent because she thought I was talking about her pictures and now this! I guess I picked the wrong posts to bump up.

I was amazed at the amount of people who were insulted, and confused at having thier posts 'bumped"! :cool:
 
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chelleshawn

Guest
Holy Cow

What a mess! It all starts with us new people who don't understand all the "lingo". Please be patient with us and whatever you do don't stop with the great advise!
 
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pthalo

Guest
Oooooooooo.....

My tranquilizers.. Where have you been!.. Ahhh Life is good... Ahhhhhh.. JK
 

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