New (re-post) re: question

[dadda11o]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?IN

Sorry to bore you all. Thanks for the snide comments-not much improvement over what I am being divorced by. My daughter just came home crying after her father screamed at her to give him money. Unfortunately, we have to live through this crap and drama, not just "fall asleep". I'm also dealing with the aftermath of police who won't/can't do their work, doctors who can't diagnose a panic attack, etc.

I wonder, yes, why would someone get a CD attorney rather than one who SPECIALIZES in divorce-there must be a reason; not being devious, I don't know the reason OR what to expect in terms of dirty tricks.

I do have other questions. I did not want to ask a lot at once.

I currently have a judgment against him for approximately $5000. It has no date by which it must be paid. May I make arrangements to garnish wages, etc. if he does not pay in whatever is considered a reasonable amount of time?

I filed a complaint with Social Security in 2003 as he was not providing our daughters with routine medical/dental care & immunizations. When I went to apply as payee this past December, I asked why nothing had ever come of that. I was told it was a "manpower" issue. They didn't investigate because staff not available. In the meantime, he has gambled away approximately $10,000 a year. He could not have done this without access to their funds. I ended up paying for a great deal of my own money for their medical and other treatment, school expenses, etc. Wondering if they would require him to repay or better to just leave it alone? Could it be used to apply pressure (he may have stashed funds) to get him to pay some of what he owes?

I now have my protective order, received after he told me, very nastily, that they would find my body in the river, that this is his house and I have no right to be here, etc ad nauseum. Due to involuntary hospitalizations and his behavior, I have made a large outlay in mental health treatment costs and legal fees. Per the PO, my attorney requested he make restitution of some of these. I anticipate our children will benefit from counseling and would like to request that as a condition-that he pick up a certain amount of reasonable fees for counseling d/t what they've been put through. Are attorney fees and other costs ever actually ordered?

Our children are now over 18 but still dependent. Would he bear any responsibility for support as long as they are full-time students?

Finally, for the moment, the only asset we have is the house and of course, the market isn't the greatest. I anticipate that I will get little to nothing other than a judgment. He is expecting an inheritance when his mother dies. Part of her wealth is in gold coins. How might I plan around collecting on a judgment if he receives his inheritance before he has paid what he owes?

Thank you if you can actually tell me something that will help me make the best use of my time and limited resources and start a better, non-dramatic life & alleviate some of the stresses in my daughters' lives.

 

[mistoffolees]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?IN

Sorry to bore you all. Thanks for the snide comments-not much improvement over what I am being divorced by. My daughter just came home crying after her father screamed at her to give him money. Unfortunately, we have to live through this crap and drama, not just "fall asleep". I'm also dealing with the aftermath of police who won't/can't do their work, doctors who can't diagnose a panic attack, etc.

Well, we're all volunteers. I don't think there's anyone who wants to wade through 100 lines of drama and whining. It's a legal site, not a whine-fest. And when there's not enough fact to give an opinion, that's your fault, not ours.

I wonder, yes, why would someone get a CD attorney rather than one who SPECIALIZES in divorce-there must be a reason; not being devious, I don't know the reason OR what to expect in terms of dirty tricks.

I don't know. Ask him.

I do have other questions. I did not want to ask a lot at once.

I currently have a judgment against him for approximately $5000. It has no date by which it must be paid. May I make arrangements to garnish wages, etc. if he does not pay in whatever is considered a reasonable amount of time?

If no date was provided, then a reasonable time period would be indicated. How long has it been?

I filed a complaint with Social Security in 2003 as he was not providing our daughters with routine medical/dental care & immunizations. When I went to apply as payee this past December, I asked why nothing had ever come of that. I was told it was a "manpower" issue. They didn't investigate because staff not available. In the meantime, he has gambled away approximately $10,000 a year. He could not have done this without access to their funds. I ended up paying for a great deal of my own money for their medical and other treatment, school expenses, etc. Wondering if they would require him to repay or better to just leave it alone? Could it be used to apply pressure (he may have stashed funds) to get him to pay some of what he owes?

Why would Social Security care about him not providing medical care?

I now have my protective order, received after he told me, very nastily, that they would find my body in the river, that this is his house and I have no right to be here, etc ad nauseum. Due to involuntary hospitalizations and his behavior, I have made a large outlay in mental health treatment costs and legal fees. Per the PO, my attorney requested he make restitution of some of these. I anticipate our children will benefit from counseling and would like to request that as a condition-that he pick up a certain amount of reasonable fees for counseling d/t what they've been put through. Are attorney fees and other costs ever actually ordered?

Yes, the are sometimes ordered - if justified. Usually, that happens if:
a. one person makes dramatically more money than the other
and/or
b. one person is dragging the process out unnecessarily.

It also depends on the particular judge. It's not automatic.

Our children are now over 18 but still dependent. Would he bear any responsibility for support as long as they are full-time students?

Your court order would tell you. What does the court order say about support - word for word, but without the names. If there is no court order, then you can certainly ask for it.

Finally, for the moment, the only asset we have is the house and of course, the market isn't the greatest. I anticipate that I will get little to nothing other than a judgment. He is expecting an inheritance when his mother dies. Part of her wealth is in gold coins. How might I plan around collecting on a judgment if he receives his inheritance before he has paid what he owes?

I don't understand the question. You will divide all debts and assets. If the house is worth roughly what is owed on it, then the person who takes the home also takes the mortgage.

If there is any money owed from one person to the other, then they can file to collect it from any source. If he owes you $x from the divorce and then inherits, you should be able to collect your money by flying suit.

You do not have any other access to his inheritance if it occurs after the date of divorce.

Thank you if you can actually tell me something that will help me make the best use of my time and limited resources and start a better, non-dramatic life & alleviate some of the stresses in my daughters' lives.

It looks to me like you're creating a lot of the drama yourself. Some serious counseling would help. Also, spend the time reading lots of other threads of cases in your state to learn how the system works.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?IN

Sorry to bore you all. Thanks for the snide comments-not much improvement over what I am being divorced by. My daughter just came home crying after her father screamed at her to give him money. Unfortunately, we have to live through this crap and drama, not just "fall asleep". I'm also dealing with the aftermath of police who won't/can't do their work, doctors who can't diagnose a panic attack, etc.

I wonder, yes, why would someone get a CD attorney rather than one who SPECIALIZES in divorce-there must be a reason; not being devious, I don't know the reason OR what to expect in terms of dirty tricks.

I do have other questions. I did not want to ask a lot at once.

I currently have a judgment against him for approximately $5000. It has no date by which it must be paid. May I make arrangements to garnish wages, etc. if he does not pay in whatever is considered a reasonable amount of time?

I filed a complaint with Social Security in 2003 as he was not providing our daughters with routine medical/dental care & immunizations. When I went to apply as payee this past December, I asked why nothing had ever come of that. I was told it was a "manpower" issue. They didn't investigate because staff not available. In the meantime, he has gambled away approximately $10,000 a year. He could not have done this without access to their funds. I ended up paying for a great deal of my own money for their medical and other treatment, school expenses, etc. Wondering if they would require him to repay or better to just leave it alone? Could it be used to apply pressure (he may have stashed funds) to get him to pay some of what he owes?

I now have my protective order, received after he told me, very nastily, that they would find my body in the river, that this is his house and I have no right to be here, etc ad nauseum. Due to involuntary hospitalizations and his behavior, I have made a large outlay in mental health treatment costs and legal fees. Per the PO, my attorney requested he make restitution of some of these. I anticipate our children will benefit from counseling and would like to request that as a condition-that he pick up a certain amount of reasonable fees for counseling d/t what they've been put through. Are attorney fees and other costs ever actually ordered?

Our children are now over 18 but still dependent. Would he bear any responsibility for support as long as they are full-time students?

Finally, for the moment, the only asset we have is the house and of course, the market isn't the greatest. I anticipate that I will get little to nothing other than a judgment. He is expecting an inheritance when his mother dies. Part of her wealth is in gold coins. How might I plan around collecting on a judgment if he receives his inheritance before he has paid what he owes?

Thank you if you can actually tell me something that will help me make the best use of my time and limited resources and start a better, non-dramatic life & alleviate some of the stresses in my daughters' lives.

In Indiana child support goes to age 21 or emancipation, whichever comes first, and if they are in school they are not considered to be emancipated.

An inheritance can be levied for child support judgements, but that only works if the executor of the estate will obey an order to levy the estate, or if there IS an estate. Many things pass outside of any estate so often the significant assets are not available to be levied.

Your daughters are over 18 and are therefore no longer obligated to visit him. If he treats them in such a poor manner they don't have to see him.

 

[dadda11o]

Thank you both for your answers. I am not interested in drama and thank you, I have had and continue in serious counseling. I don't want (inheritance) what's not mine; just have had no success asking politely and want to identify options before opportunities vanish.

mistoffolees: I was told originally that generally, the person has 30 days to satisfy the judgment (attorney's office). Then, my attorney said it would be tacked on to "what he owes me". That sounds too open-ended and generous, especially since she and our mediator agree that he's trying to avoid equitable settlement; he doesn't have a good track record taking care of family obligations, only family assets.

Social Security: he decided to appoint himself representative payee in '98 for both daughters. He was collecting $1000 - $2000 a month but claimed "he couldn't afford" to take them to dentist, etc. During divorce discovery, I learned he was gambling/stashing up to $10,000 a year: that was easily detectable. There is no way he could have accomplished that and supported himself without their funds.

Fees and misc: I would have been gone by now, if my preferences count. He filed for a legal divorce; I merely expect a legal and equitable settlement, not threats or demands to "get out" and take more bills with me in order that he get his way. I am unlikely to see much if any cash right away if ever.

I do not appreciate his filing, through attorney or pro se, false allegations that force me to engage additional legal fees, nor do I appreciate threats, screaming and his entering the house and destroying property because his decisions haven't had the desired effect. It sounds like I need to document and provide evidence that shows he is doing these things and demonstrate he is doing so to impede/avoid proper settlement?

There is one question I haven't seen/gotten answer to (and I do read a lot of posts; I also try to find answers by looking in state legal code, but that can be unclear).

My question is this: He filed for divorce, indication he wants to dissolve our relationship. Therefore, it seems he has an obligation to either provide a proposal for settlement or allow trial (final hearing) to take place in order that I can make plans and get on with my life. There is no stipulation that the party desiring divorce (or either party) provide a proposal for settlement prior to the hearing? If there are contested areas in asset/debt division, does it seem/is it more beneficial to (attempt to) address these areas with the opposing party prior to the hearing?

Sorry if some of my questions sound dumb or whatever; I am accustomed to solving my problems in life and with others without the use of police/attorneys/Courts.

Thank you, also LdiJ. Our daughters are/have gone through a lot of emotional angst. They are hearing that what he says and does don't jive. They are also aware that he buys a lot of lottery tix. I was pretty ignorant in terms of gambling addiction and still feel out of my league to understand it...just seeing that everything is disappearing but the addiction (and he "can stop anytime").

I am aware that a great deal of his inheritance is in liquid form and unlikely to be addressed in a will/estate. So I would just need to file a claim if comes to that as he is in debt to me through our marital settlement (not a claim that I'm entitled to his inheritance b/c of marriage). I've already learned that he can't eliminate his marital settlement obligations through bankruptcy (which he plans on), but aware that you can't get blood from a turnip. It helps to be able to identify likely areas for collection...

I'm not trying to tell them to see or not see their father, but since they see him buying lottery tix so much, know he has/had a secret girlfriend he wants to marry and have gotten some harsh treatment when they have tried to merely TALK with him, I've been trying to give them factual information about what is going on (as I understand it) and emotional support. He yelled and screamed at the then 17 yo earlier this year and called her a c*nt, etc. There is no call that I am aware of for a father to EVER do that to his daughter. Stuff happens. Just trying to deal with it and help them through. There is no 2 way communication with him...just his way.

Finally, wasn't aware I was sounding "whiny" and didn't mean to come across as such. A lot of people have it a lot worse than I do. I don't see any benefit to my rolling over in submission to being defrauded and stolen from, though. Or (continually) accepting costs associated with his attempts to do so. Thank you.