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[tk12]

my husband and i will be married 20 yrs in may. he is an active duty army officer; coming into active duty with a direct commission in 95.
we lived in arizona until 97 when my daughter and i moved to virginia since he was working in the dc area.
last year i discovered he was seeing another woman and we mutually decided that my daughter and i would move back to az in june.
we have not leagally seperated nor started any divorce proceedings. however, his actions are incongruent with what he is saying. my husband has been working hard trying NOT to get a divorce, even though i know he is still persuing other women and even though i have asked for one to maintain my sanity.
what i need advice on is what reason does he have that benefits him for us to stay married. i don't beleive any longer that it has to do with his feelings towards me. i do beleive he is trying to stay married for certain length of time for some personal gain or protection of some sort.
my guess is that it may have something to do with BAH, or the fact that in VA, you have to live apart for a year before you can divorce. i know there is something that i'm missing here and am feeling like i need to protect myself somehow. he is helping support us now, but i also think he is biding time for some reason?
T

 

[needoutNOW]

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN A MILITARY WIFE????

According to Military Law, adultry is a punishable crime. THAT'S why he doesn't want a divorce, because he doesn't want his affairs to cost him his military career.

Get a lawyer fast. Divorce him.

 

[tk12]

Thank you. We have been married almost 20 years and he has been active duty since 95. He did have prior service but that was in the 70's before we were married. He held a GS position for almost 3 years.
Will there be a huge difference in the basic housing allowance for him after a divorce? Also, I don't understand how any retirement benefits would fall into place since part of his service we were unmarried?
tk12

 

[needoutNOW]

Depending on what kind of money you want to get out of the divorce, I would suggest waiting on telling his superior about the adultry. My advice right now would be to find an EXCELLENT civilian divorce lawyer that knows a lot about military law. You could use the adultry as leverage to get what you want.

BECAUSE if he is caught and tried by the military for the adultry, they can punish him in many evil ways. For instance, taking part or all of his pay, busting him down to a lower rank, or even serving jail time in Levenworth (not the most pleasant of places). So, go find that lawyer and explain what you want and get rid of that evil PIG.