Ohiogal
Queen Bee
What is the name of your state? Any and all - but keep in mind, we can’t help you with law from other countriess.
1) The first and most important item is to answer the question -- WHAT IS THE NAME OF YOUR STATE? Laws differ by state. We need that information to help you.
2) Don't lie. Don't mislead. Don't pretend you are someone else in situation. Be straight about it. Don't post from the other perspective. Don't pretend you are mom or dad when you are a stepparent. Don't pretend you are dad when you are mom. Don't pretend you are the obligor when you are the obligee. Don't do it. Being honest will get you straightforward advice. If you came here for “real advice” then the only way to get it is to be honest.
3) Avoid using the word "we" when referring to you and someone else and one is not the parent (as in the actual mom or dad). While you may have an interest in the legal proceedings of your spouse or relative, please remember that stepparents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and other family relations are legal strangers in terms of court proceedings. Mom, dad, or legal guardian are the only parties with legal rights to the child.
4) Do NOT use the word BIO or even shorten it to BM or BF unless this is an adoption situation. Do not insult the ex with the child. Doesn't matter who they are. They are the parent of your (or your love's) child. It ranks up there with referring to them as BM or BF. Except this also applies to adoption threads. Please call mom “mom,” dad “dad,” and stepmom or stepdad exactly that.
5) Please use proper grammar and spelling and do not use “text speak” in your posts. It becomes very hard to understand. Also, use paragraphs and full sentences. One long, huge paragraph is very very hard to read.
6) DO NOT SHARE USERNAMES. We like to have mom ask her own questions. If the question is about dad’s kids, have DAD ask the questions. It’s really hard to answer questions if you weren’t there for the court order, the marriage, or the relationship that led to the children.
7) Before diving in to post something, read the rules. Read the TOS. Please, do not be rude, slanderous, call names, or post personal identitfying information.
8) Senior members are volunteers. We are all volunteers. We have often been through the same situation as you, or have seen it in court. Please do not be rude to the volunteers. We want to help you. That’s why we first came here, and that’s why we stick around. To help, and ultimately, to help the kids.
9) DO NOT DOUBLEPOST. This means, keep all your questions in one thread, so we know what you said before.
10) DO NOT HIJACK. If you have a question dealing with your own situation, start ONE thread (note rule number 13 please) about it and ask your questions there. Don't explain your situation on someone else's thread. It is rude, distracting and may result in the OP (original poster) not getting the information they need.
11) Have your court order in hand, so we can ask for specific wording. The details are VERY VERY important in a court of law.
12) Do not delete your thread when you are done. We post because we hope that others might learn from these threads. Others read these threads other than you.
13) DO NOT POST IN ALL CAPS. See like what i just wrote. It is considered shouting and it is also rude.
14) Do answer the questions that are asked in order to clarify your situation, such as "Who are you in this scenario?" or "When did that happen?" or "What does the court order say?" or "Can you afford to pay the mortgage?" or "Did you report it the police?" We are not prying into your personal business. When you ask a question without providing context you are unlikely to get an answer that will really be helpful to you.
15) RE: Locking posts: If you want an answer, do not lock your post. If your post is locked then either YOU or the moderator locked it. No one else can do so. Either way no one can answer. If you did not lock it then the moderator locked it and it was locked because the thread was getting out of hand and/or you had already received your legal answer.
__________________
Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex (or soon to be ex); when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
1) The first and most important item is to answer the question -- WHAT IS THE NAME OF YOUR STATE? Laws differ by state. We need that information to help you.
2) Don't lie. Don't mislead. Don't pretend you are someone else in situation. Be straight about it. Don't post from the other perspective. Don't pretend you are mom or dad when you are a stepparent. Don't pretend you are dad when you are mom. Don't pretend you are the obligor when you are the obligee. Don't do it. Being honest will get you straightforward advice. If you came here for “real advice” then the only way to get it is to be honest.
3) Avoid using the word "we" when referring to you and someone else and one is not the parent (as in the actual mom or dad). While you may have an interest in the legal proceedings of your spouse or relative, please remember that stepparents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and other family relations are legal strangers in terms of court proceedings. Mom, dad, or legal guardian are the only parties with legal rights to the child.
4) Do NOT use the word BIO or even shorten it to BM or BF unless this is an adoption situation. Do not insult the ex with the child. Doesn't matter who they are. They are the parent of your (or your love's) child. It ranks up there with referring to them as BM or BF. Except this also applies to adoption threads. Please call mom “mom,” dad “dad,” and stepmom or stepdad exactly that.
5) Please use proper grammar and spelling and do not use “text speak” in your posts. It becomes very hard to understand. Also, use paragraphs and full sentences. One long, huge paragraph is very very hard to read.
6) DO NOT SHARE USERNAMES. We like to have mom ask her own questions. If the question is about dad’s kids, have DAD ask the questions. It’s really hard to answer questions if you weren’t there for the court order, the marriage, or the relationship that led to the children.
7) Before diving in to post something, read the rules. Read the TOS. Please, do not be rude, slanderous, call names, or post personal identitfying information.
8) Senior members are volunteers. We are all volunteers. We have often been through the same situation as you, or have seen it in court. Please do not be rude to the volunteers. We want to help you. That’s why we first came here, and that’s why we stick around. To help, and ultimately, to help the kids.
9) DO NOT DOUBLEPOST. This means, keep all your questions in one thread, so we know what you said before.
10) DO NOT HIJACK. If you have a question dealing with your own situation, start ONE thread (note rule number 13 please) about it and ask your questions there. Don't explain your situation on someone else's thread. It is rude, distracting and may result in the OP (original poster) not getting the information they need.
11) Have your court order in hand, so we can ask for specific wording. The details are VERY VERY important in a court of law.
12) Do not delete your thread when you are done. We post because we hope that others might learn from these threads. Others read these threads other than you.
13) DO NOT POST IN ALL CAPS. See like what i just wrote. It is considered shouting and it is also rude.
14) Do answer the questions that are asked in order to clarify your situation, such as "Who are you in this scenario?" or "When did that happen?" or "What does the court order say?" or "Can you afford to pay the mortgage?" or "Did you report it the police?" We are not prying into your personal business. When you ask a question without providing context you are unlikely to get an answer that will really be helpful to you.
15) RE: Locking posts: If you want an answer, do not lock your post. If your post is locked then either YOU or the moderator locked it. No one else can do so. Either way no one can answer. If you did not lock it then the moderator locked it and it was locked because the thread was getting out of hand and/or you had already received your legal answer.
__________________
Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex (or soon to be ex); when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
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