Newborn Due in November

[fairisfair]

Ah, good advice.

Would they make her take a drug test?

probably, right after you prove that she is on drugs.

Funny, how when you were together, she managed to keep her use a secret, but now that she won't talk to you or communicate with you about anything, you seem to know so much more about her life.

 

[LdiJ]

Ah, good advice.

Would they make her take a drug test?

Not unless you provide hard, cold evidence of drug use.

 

[JMGA]

You failed to ask me why we broke up ;-)

Now you know.

 

[MrsK]

Smoking during pregnancy doesn't sound a little bit....careless to you guys? The fact that she may or may not resume drug use after the birth (hell she may have never stopped) doesn't sound unfit? Trying to KEEP it from me because I am not one of "them" doesn't sound like a bit short of normal?

I don't ever want my child to say the words, "Gee dad, you're not in our religion, I really don't feel I should associate with you."

Despite how the mother spends her free time, I wouldn't find any reason to keep her from the baby. I just don't think it should be subject to that environment, much less it's primary caretaker being its grandparents.

To top that off, I'm the one relocating and starting a new business in their area to be nearby the child. I'm sure if the opportunity arose she'd skip town on a minutes notice and tell the kid it's father died in the Iraq war.

Should I be speaking to an attourney at this point so that the behavior towards me is documented all the way till the birth?

Sure smoking during pregnancy is careless. Its a shame that people do it. It is not, however, illegal. Unfortunate, but you can throw it out as a reason to get custody now...a court wont care, despite how bad it is for the child.

Religion is also not a factor unless you can prove its harmful to the child.

I'd get an atty if I were you, but keep in mind, you are VERY unlikely to get dom. status over mom, despite how good of a father you will be. Courts are, unfortunetly, usually biased towards mothers.

 

[MrsK]

You failed to ask me why we broke up ;-)

Now you know.

Yes, but what actual PROOF do you have??

 

[JMGA]

For my own personal reasons to end the relationship, I had plenty.

But as I have been advised: COLD/HARD proof would literally be something like documented evidence of her purchasing/using drugs, and even drug related arrests. Working on option 1.

 

[waitinMd]

Do you know who her doctor is?

 

[LdiJ]

For my own personal reasons to end the relationship, I had plenty.

But as I have been advised: COLD/HARD proof would literally be something like documented evidence of her purchasing/using drugs, and even drug related arrests. Working on option 1.

Its also going to have to be evidence that comes from either the period of her pregnancy, or post pregnancy. Evidence prior to her pregnancy will be worthless.

 

[JMGA]

Figured as much. Hey, if she honestly changes, no problem whatsoever on my part with her keeping it. I just want it to be in a good environment.

 

[Ithildriel]

Figured as much. Hey, if she honestly changes, no problem whatsoever on my part with her keeping it. I just want it to be in a good environment.

You may want to refrain from refering to your potential child as "it".

 

[Silverplum]

Do you know who her doctor is?

Why would that matter??

 

[Silverplum]

You may want to refrain from refering to your potential child as "it".

Yeah. Geez.

 

[JMGA]

Sorry. The baby.

I do know who her physician is, yes. Why does that matter?

 

[waitinMd]

My ex used illegal drugs while pregnant. It was very upsetting. I wrote her doctor a registered letter telling him that she admittedly used marijuana and that I was very concerned for the child.

He wanted to drug test her, and she refused, but it scared her enough to stop smoking for the remainder of the pregnancy. She was never told I wrote him, he kept it confidential.

 

[Silverplum]

My ex used illegal drugs while pregnant. It was very upsetting. I wrote her doctor a registered letter telling him that she admittedly used marijuana and that I was very concerned for the child.

He wanted to drug test her, and she refused, but it scared her enough to stop smoking for the remainder of the pregnancy. She was never told I wrote him, he kept it confidential.

IMO? Your actions were akin to playing with fire. I wouldn't recommend it.