Nj singlemom custody

[Naturalmom]

Im a single mom never married to father of my child,never cohabitated either.My child is 14 months .My quaetion is I have taken care of my child from conception thru now medically I carry the medical benifits and pay all recieved minimal child support jsut enough to cover daycare expense and at times he doesn"t even contribute to that this is the home she knows and is listed at emtionally I am the one she knows, I don"t deny the father visitation we had an agreement verbal which was being put into writting for us to sign now after it has been put in writting he has decided he does not agree with it but we have been working with this agreement for months.He has now taken me to court filing for joint physical custody and expecitn to break up the week with over night visits and weekend stay overs though he calls every visition period with a problem he is having with the child taking care of her. I realize when she is a bit older weekend overnights are inevitable but at 14 months can this be stopped also he will not have space to provide her with her own room as she has in her home now Plus ther are other issues of alchol and mental illnes arising and dementade behavior . We live close enough that there is no real traveling involved so no reson for overnights.at this time Big point he does not like being told what to do about anything concerning the child.I hope someone can clear up the possiblities that will happen and also we are waitng to go to court meditionsoon.

 

[mtdavis]

Visitation/custody NJ

Could it be that he's heard that if he has the child for a certain # of overnights that he wouldn't have to pay as much in child support in NJ?

You stated that he's taking you to court to change the custodial designation from sole (just you) to joint. Did you ever state to him that the child support he's paying you is not enough to meet the child's needs? If so, he may be trying to negate any potential and future efforts on your part to increase his child support obligation.

During the mediation, YOU bring up your concerns about the substance abuse (alcohol and other uses) and don't be afraid to voice your concerns about the mental stability of anyone who will come in close contact with your 14 month old child. You can always ask that this be investigated through the probation department of your county--however, you have to convince the mediator that your concerns are valid and not just something to deny his requests. If you have proof, anything, use it.... I'm not saying that this will work in your favor but, again, if you show proof it will be that much better for you.

I have a girlfriend in almost the same situtation as you. Her daughter is only 3 and goes NUTS (I've seen it and been into court to testify that this happens) when its time to visit daddy and his family. This is also in NJ. My friend did go to mediation and was able to prove that any overnights at Daddy's was out of the question at this time due to daddy's sister abuses alcohol and drugs and can't be trusted not to become violent if something is denied her. Police reports helped here... Also, "Grandma" is not really there...

I hope that this was able to help you and I wish you good luck at mediation.

If you can, I'd like to know how things worked out for you so please post the results. Again, good luck


(I AM NOT AN ATTORNEY)