No Contact Order

[Michelle2316]

What is the name of your state? Pennsylvania, Bucks County

My fiance and I got into a domestic fight three months ago. We both put our hands on each other, but he was the one that was charged. His charges were dropped to simple assault, but court is not until March or April now. Conditions of his bail are no contact. We both thought that by now everything would be dropped and he would be home. We are both on the lease of the house, and I need him to come home to help with the bills and continue to be a family. What can I do to have the conditions of his bail to be changed so he can come home? Peaceful contact? Neither one of us were bruised or beat, it was just a fight that turned ugly.

 

[not2cleverRed]

What is the name of your state? Pennsylvania, Bucks County

My fiance and I got into a domestic fight three months ago. We both put our hands on each other, but he was the one that was charged. His charges were dropped to simple assault, but court is not until March or April now. Conditions of his bail are no contact. We both thought that by now everything would be dropped and he would be home. We are both on the lease of the house, and I need him to come home to help with the bills and continue to be a family. What can I do to have the conditions of his bail to be changed so he can come home? Peaceful contact? Neither one of us were bruised or beat, it was just a fight that turned ugly.

No. You need to find a place that you can afford without him, have no contact with him except to facilitate visitation with any mutual child(ren) (if you have any, and even then, do it through a court approved website/app/whatever the local judge prefers), and get yourself into counselling or therapy.

You need to learn how to communicate in a non-violent way.

 

[Michelle2316]

No. You need to find a place that you can afford without him, have no contact with him except to facilitate visitation with any mutual child(ren) (if you have any, and even then, do it through a court approved website/app/whatever the local judge prefers), and get yourself into counselling or therapy.

You need to learn how to communicate in a non-violent way.

We are both in counseling. I also know there is a legal was to drop the no contact order. I work two jobs and live in the cheapest place I can find, so finding a cheaper place is not an option.

 

[adjusterjack]

He's the one facing charges. He's the one that will have to have his lawyer figure out how to get the no contact order dropped, if possible.

 

[not2cleverRed]

We are both in counseling. I also know there is a legal was to drop the no contact order. I work two jobs and live in the cheapest place I can find, so finding a cheaper place is not an option.

While he is facing charges and there is a no contact order, the best thing that you can do for him is to have no contact with him.

"A man is not a financial plan."

Find an alternative. After all, what would you do if the no contact order vanished and he dropped dead the next day?

Would you qualify for public assistance?
Can you take a 3rd job?
Can you be retrained to get a better paying job?
Can you move to an area which is more affordable for people with your skill set?

 

[justalayman]

We are both in counseling. I also know there is a legal was to drop the no contact order. I work two jobs and live in the cheapest place I can find, so finding a cheaper place is not an option.

since neither you nor your fiancé filed for the NCO, it is neither you nor your fiancés right or option to have the NCO dropped.

The court unilaterally imposed it and they have total control over when it is dropped. They may not drop it not only during his prosecution but could continue it during his penalty phase, should he be found guilty.

 

[Mass_Shyster]

Ask your fiancé’s lawyer. Around here (which is not PA so may be completely different) a judge will frequently modify the No Contact and make it a No Abuse at the request of the complaining witness/alleged victim.

 

[Michelle2316]

While he is facing charges and there is a no contact order, the best thing that you can do for him is to have no contact with him.

"A man is not a financial plan."

Find an alternative. After all, what would you do if the no contact order vanished and he dropped dead the next day?

Would you qualify for public assistance?
Can you take a 3rd job?
Can you be retrained to get a better paying job?
Can you move to an area which is more affordable for people with your skill set?

A third job? I am a nurse and I waitress with five children, so a third job is not an option. I didn’t say he was a financial plan, but we paid the bills together. We had a life together. And even though what he did or what I did wasn’t right, people make mistakes.

 

[not2cleverRed]

A third job? I am a nurse and I waitress with five children, so a third job is not an option. I didn’t say he was a financial plan, but we paid the bills together. We had a life together. And even though what he did or what I did wasn’t right, people make mistakes.

You see him as a way to make ends meet. That seems to be your focus in asking to get back together. That makes him your financial plan. That is a mistake.

Five kids are a lot of mouths to feed. At no point have you commented about any being his, even though I mentioned that possibility in post #2. If any of the children are his, then he should be supporting them. You can petition for custody and child support.

Furthermore, public assistance is based on not just income but household size, since it is obvious that $50K goes much further for a household of 1 than a household of 6, for example. If you're not making ends meet, reach out for help.

Do not pursue getting back together with this man just solely for "convenience". Can you honestly say that what happened, the event that led to this, was a complete aberration, that prior to the last fight neither had ever raised a hand to the other? Because that's unlikely. People make mistakes, true. Putting curry powder instead of cinnamon in a dessert recipe because the containers are the same size and the contents the same color would be a "mistake". "Putting hands on" another in anger is not a mistake, and likely a pattern. And if it has been a pattern in your relationship, then you two don't belong together.

 

[cbg]

What can I do to have the conditions of his bail to be changed so he can come home?

Nothing. You have no power to have the conditions of his bail changed. There is nothing you can say or do, and no law you can invoke that will force the law to change the conditions of his bail, or let him come home at all. It is entirely up to the court and the court will not be easily convinced.

 

[Ohiogal]

YOu might be able to file with the court that put the order in place to ask them to lift it. Contact the prosecutor and tell them you want the no contact portion lifted.