No Help "out In The Cold"

[DDKane]

My question is if you have legal papers stating certain issues with your children such as visitation and the other party is not willing to follow those papers. who can inforce this if the law enforcement is not willing to get involved or friend of the court. what use is a piece of paper when no one is willing to help you when things are not followed?

 

[Grandma B]

You file a Motion to Show Cause and haul them in for contempt of court. The police usually consider this type of thing as out of their range, but the FOC should be listening.

 

[TxStep]

If you can prove that visitation is consistently being denied, you may be able to get custody. Get a lawyer to help you properly document this. I know it is a lot of money, but a good lawyer is worth it...trust me.

 

[DDKane]

my child is 14 and i have asked her over and over again to come spend time with us at least every other weekend. she hasn't and her father hasn't pushed it as amatter of fact he has left her with friends when he has gone out of town without my knowledge of where she is at. I am suppose to have physical custody of her as the papers state, but have let her stay with her dada because of teh mental and physical abuse that she has put on the other 2 children. Me and my new husband feel that she needs help but her father once again is not pushing the issue.

 

[DDKane]

so in short i have custody and the authorties will not help me bring her home becuasethey say it is a civil matter and she is 14. so what good are papers then? And what plan of action do i take then?

 

[Grandma B]

If I remember from an earlier thread, you asked the father to take the girl because of problems with your new family. Since you didn't change "legal" custody, you are still the custodial parent.

It appears you don't want your daughter back living with you, but you want visitation rights. If this is the case, you need to go to court to have custody legally changed to the father and at the same time you can ask for visitation. Once you do that, you can take him back to court again if he denies visitation.

 

[DDKane]

you have miss understood ..i never gave my exhusband any custody or rights to have my daughter. She left my house one day becuase she didn't like the rules that she had to follow. Since that time, he has not enforced her to come back or see me for that matter. His rules and supervision is very lacks at his home. You see he works 12 hour shifts at least 3-4 days a week from the hours of 6am-730pm.. the child is left to fin for herself. She has all the freedom a 14 year old could want. And with i don't feel that is a very safe enviroment

 

[Kelly143]

You should have gone and got her a long time ago. This is what you do... you go and get her now. If she doesn't like it, tough. She is only 14. My mom would have dragged me home by my ear if I had just left one day!!!

 

[Grandma B]

"backup against a wall and don't know what to do
i have physical custody and control with joint legal care awarded to both of us. i live in mich. my daughter is 14 and has been living with here father since april of this year. I allowed this because of the harm she was doing to my other two children ( physical and emtional abuse) but no legal papers were changed."

I didn't misunderstand at all. Your post is quoted above.

 

[DDKane]

to kelly143:

i tried to get her back through the police .. they did nothing and said that they don't get invovled in civil matters.

 

[DDKane]

to GrandmaB

are you a lawyer?

 

[smh33]

You still have custody. The police will not enforce, it is civil matter and they simply are not in a position to read custody agreements and determine who is at fault and enforce correction. Your agreement has power but, only in front of your judge...who should want to hear the circumstances.
You may be faulted for seeming to look like you gave up but, it is also the responsibility of each parent to encourage and mandate relationship with the other parent. Sounds like your outcome will largely depend on what it is you exactly are seeking. Your child is 14 and many states will consider what child desires at that age..this again is with consideration to best interests. Your question was how to enforce agreement and the only avenue for that is court. Have your lawyer send a letter stating your wishes and start negotiations with your ex...if not satisfactory..go to court. Unfortunately that is really all you can do...police cannot take action based only because you say your right and other is wrong...basically you have agreement...you must prove your case infront of a judge...have to show the hows, whys of how it got to this point. Good Luck, it's no fun.

 

[DDKane]

To SMH33

I just wanted to say thank you for answer my question instead of giving some bias opinion that some members seem to like to give.
Also thank you for words of encouragement

 

[4gals1guy]

DDKane - Good question about Grandma B. If she were a "real" lawyer, she wouldn't be sitting here on this website all day, getting nothing in return. "Real" attorneys have real clients and collect real fees. I'm not an attorney, that's why I hired one who told me more in one hour than I learned in months of reading legal interpretations of people like Grandma B. If I'm not mistaken, practicing law without a degree is against the law.

Good luck with your daughter!

 

[Toniree]

4gals1guy: You are treading on thin water now. Grandma B has given a lot of good legal advice. There are real lawyers on this board. Some are retired. Some are senior partners that have gotten to the point in there lives where they don't handle cases anymore, they just quote the law to junior partners.

DDKane: The best way to handle this is to go back to court and file a contempt order. If you just want visitation, then give him custody. You must decide what is going to be done about the mental and physical abuse.