J
jul496
Guest
Hello,
To begin with I am a male and my situation might be a bit unusual for some people to relate too.
I left my X in Virginia 96 due to false charges of abuse to my family made against me to my military command when I asked her for a divorce. All charges were dropped and she was charged with pergering herself at the pre-court martial hearing and for making threats to my eldest daughters to lie in court. ( they told the judge the truth when they had their mother leave the room)
She was abusive both physically and mentally for over 16 years to the point I thought about and attempted suicide to leave her. After I got councling and learned I was a victim of domestic violence I was advised not to reenlist because my councler felt she would continue to try to destroy my career in the military to control me. So after 15 honorable years of service and I left her. I filed for divorce in VA trying to get custody of my children which was not happening and I eventually moved to WV in fall of 97 after she began making physical threats to have me killed and began stalking me. I had a protective order in place and kept in contact with my children through phone and letters gifts and sending her support that was established through CSE of VA, but I did not give her my physical address due to constant threats to find me and kill me, but I tried to arrange meetings that would be safe for me through friends in order to visit with my children, it never happened, my X refused.
In 99 I began demanding to have some type of visitation with my children being I missed them terribly and they wanted to see me as well. My divorce was not going through being she decieded to contest it stating she would never give me a divorce. When it came time for the hearing she fled the state and left no forwarding address. I was finally granted a divorce in April 2000 by "publication" after trying to obtain her whereabouts. No custody or visitation was given in a divorce by publication.
Not long after my family found out she was in MA, and I began to try to set up arrangements for visitation of some type, even giving her my home address and phone number now. After finding my family my 2nd oldest daughter wanted to come live with me, she was 15 at the time. The week before I was to come my X had my daughter put under a CHINS order( Child in Need ), saying she was threatening to run away from home and she could not leave the state. Not long after that she dropeed out of school and refuses to go back now.
I have only gotten one picture of my children in five years and that was because my oldest daughter sent me them after she left home. She ( my X) continues to refuse to let me spend time with my other two children, and now states" I will never let you see your children again." My eldest daughter moved back to VA after turning 18 a year ago and I was able to see her, but my other two children are being kept from me. When she found out about the divorce being final it appears that she put lies into my youngest childs head ( 10) and he refuses to even speak to me on the phone now, at least that's what my X says when I call. I was trying to set up a 3 week visit with her but she is so angery and spiteful that I am at a loss what to do.
Can I file for a modifacation of this divorce in WV and get child custody and visitation established? Or do I have to in MA or VA where the divorce was finalised? Or am I just SOL.
I appreciate any help or suggestion, I love my children and want a relationship with them terribly!
Thank you, Tom
To begin with I am a male and my situation might be a bit unusual for some people to relate too.
I left my X in Virginia 96 due to false charges of abuse to my family made against me to my military command when I asked her for a divorce. All charges were dropped and she was charged with pergering herself at the pre-court martial hearing and for making threats to my eldest daughters to lie in court. ( they told the judge the truth when they had their mother leave the room)
She was abusive both physically and mentally for over 16 years to the point I thought about and attempted suicide to leave her. After I got councling and learned I was a victim of domestic violence I was advised not to reenlist because my councler felt she would continue to try to destroy my career in the military to control me. So after 15 honorable years of service and I left her. I filed for divorce in VA trying to get custody of my children which was not happening and I eventually moved to WV in fall of 97 after she began making physical threats to have me killed and began stalking me. I had a protective order in place and kept in contact with my children through phone and letters gifts and sending her support that was established through CSE of VA, but I did not give her my physical address due to constant threats to find me and kill me, but I tried to arrange meetings that would be safe for me through friends in order to visit with my children, it never happened, my X refused.
In 99 I began demanding to have some type of visitation with my children being I missed them terribly and they wanted to see me as well. My divorce was not going through being she decieded to contest it stating she would never give me a divorce. When it came time for the hearing she fled the state and left no forwarding address. I was finally granted a divorce in April 2000 by "publication" after trying to obtain her whereabouts. No custody or visitation was given in a divorce by publication.
Not long after my family found out she was in MA, and I began to try to set up arrangements for visitation of some type, even giving her my home address and phone number now. After finding my family my 2nd oldest daughter wanted to come live with me, she was 15 at the time. The week before I was to come my X had my daughter put under a CHINS order( Child in Need ), saying she was threatening to run away from home and she could not leave the state. Not long after that she dropeed out of school and refuses to go back now.
I have only gotten one picture of my children in five years and that was because my oldest daughter sent me them after she left home. She ( my X) continues to refuse to let me spend time with my other two children, and now states" I will never let you see your children again." My eldest daughter moved back to VA after turning 18 a year ago and I was able to see her, but my other two children are being kept from me. When she found out about the divorce being final it appears that she put lies into my youngest childs head ( 10) and he refuses to even speak to me on the phone now, at least that's what my X says when I call. I was trying to set up a 3 week visit with her but she is so angery and spiteful that I am at a loss what to do.
Can I file for a modifacation of this divorce in WV and get child custody and visitation established? Or do I have to in MA or VA where the divorce was finalised? Or am I just SOL.
I appreciate any help or suggestion, I love my children and want a relationship with them terribly!
Thank you, Tom