non biological father and crazy ex-girlfriend

[juli72979]

My husband has a non biological son who is 12 yrs. old his real father is in the picture and the mother is the ex-girlfriend. She is nuts. he was in his life consistantly until we moved in together. she keeps finding reasons to take him from us. she has even attempted to contact chld services and made up this crazy story about me abusing my now husband, anything tat she can do she does. But reguardless my husband still wants to be a part of this kids life. She took away the visitation about two-years ago. now we see him 1 day a week supervised for two hours. All of the sudden she is going to give him to us 1 day every two weeks non supervised. but the problem that I have is with all of the trouble she has caused us I am scared of the non supervised part because who knows what she is going to do. So I told my husband to get her to sign something a permission slip if you will for him to be in our care. I am just wondering if this will help keep us out of trouble. I wouldn't put it past her to try to get us for kidnapping or anything but at the same time I dont want t be the reason that he cant see him what should I do?

 

[Isis1]

clarify something for me.


what is dad doing with a non-biological child?

did he adopt him? was mom married to dad when the child was born?

is the visitation court ordered?

 

[juli72979]

totally crazy

She was 4 months pregnant when they got together no adoption no rights what so ever He just took care of him the boy calls him dad but nothing legal

 

[Banned_Princess]

She was 4 months pregnant when they got together no adoption no rights what so ever He just took care of him the boy calls him dad but nothing legal

So, he is going to have to leave the child alone.

Not his kid, the mother is not his problem.

I doubt any court will award him any visitation, and a permission slip is silly.

Sorry to say it, but your husband is going to have to tell the kid goodbye until he is 18.

 

[Isis1]

She was 4 months pregnant when they got together no adoption no rights what so ever He just took care of him the boy calls him dad but nothing legal

then defintely not his kid. mom doesn't have to allow diddly squat to this legal stranger. mom is being a saint by allowing him ANY contact.

 

[juli72979]

thats what I said

this kid is so screwed up and all this crap is doing is making it worse but when I say that it is not okay to do this all it is doing is hurting the kid he tells me that I just dont want him around when in all honestly this girl is stupid she will do anything to hurt my family but he cant seem to stop the chaos and I dont want to lose everything because of this. I have three other children that are mine they are my world and ya know but we have nothing even saying that this kid can even be here

 

[Isis1]

this kid is so screwed up and all this crap is doing is making it worse but when I say that it is not okay to do this all it is doing is hurting the kid he tells me that I just dont want him around when in all honestly this girl is stupid she will do anything to hurt my family but he cant seem to stop the chaos and I dont want to lose everything because of this. I have three other children that are mine they are my world and ya know but we have nothing even saying that this kid can even be here

as a legal stranger, neither you or your husband has a say so in how this kid is raised.

no legal standing whatsoever. it is not against the law to be a crappy parent. if the mother is a danger to you, then stop all communication with her.

 

[ecmst12]

It's a shame that mom can't act in the best interests of the child that SHE allowed to call a legal stranger, dad, but legally she is allowed to do so and he has no rights. He can look at the bright side in that he is actually NOT forced to deal with her and co-parent with her until the child is 18.

 

[juli72979]

maybe

maybe if he sees this then he will realize this stuff is crazy

 

[Isis1]

maybe if he sees this then he will realize this stuff is crazy

well. that's the bright side. he can walk away from this any time he feels like it.

 

[juli72979]

the problem with that

is he i not that kind of person but he doesnt ralize the danger that he is putting us in

 

[Isis1]

is he i not that kind of person but he doesnt ralize the danger that he is putting us in

then you need to grow a pair and tell him. or YOU could leave the situation.

 

[ecmst12]

There is no danger. But he has no rights so there is no point in him pressing the situation, unless he WANTS to have contact with his ex. In which case she could end up getting a restraining order against him.

 

[LdiJ]

My husband has a non biological son who is 12 yrs. old his real father is in the picture and the mother is the ex-girlfriend. She is nuts. he was in his life consistantly until we moved in together. she keeps finding reasons to take him from us. she has even attempted to contact chld services and made up this crazy story about me abusing my now husband, anything tat she can do she does. But reguardless my husband still wants to be a part of this kids life. She took away the visitation about two-years ago. now we see him 1 day a week supervised for two hours. All of the sudden she is going to give him to us 1 day every two weeks non supervised. but the problem that I have is with all of the trouble she has caused us I am scared of the non supervised part because who knows what she is going to do. So I told my husband to get her to sign something a permission slip if you will for him to be in our care. I am just wondering if this will help keep us out of trouble. I wouldn't put it past her to try to get us for kidnapping or anything but at the same time I dont want t be the reason that he cant see him what should I do?

If your husband wants to be a part of this child's life...AND the mother of the child is willing to allow him to be part of the child's life. Then that is your husband's business and the mother's business and not your business.

If you cannot handle that, and your husband is unwilling to give up seeing the child, then you are not required to stay in the marriage.

 

[stealth2]

Ditto LDi.