Non Custodial Parent who has child full time

[LdiJ]

That's the sad part. I am trying to be cordial. He has a heart condition and he cant take her on full or even part time. I went to talk to him last night and come to an agreement. He left and made his wife talk to me. She is happy back in Nebraska. She has aunts and uncles and cousins. To move back home is for her and my benefit. The only reason he wants her to stay here is because he doesn't want to be abandoned. When I talked to his wife last night, she said she understands if I want to go back. I asked her then, so he would want her to live with him full time? She said he couldn't do that either.

If he cannot manage having her live with him even part time, then a judge could not really justify refusing to allow you to relocate.

 

[t74]

He has not taken the time to call or see her in 7 months. I don't wanna do this in court. He did state to me that due to his congestive heart failure, he could not handle the stress of taking her on full or even part time. He has two CPS cases that were filed by her and her step brother about abuse

5 years

Contact with a child is not necessarily living in the same household. I can also understand why a person, especially someone who has always been in control of their existence to have difficulty dealing with a life threatening illness. Seven months is not long enough to get stabilized in the new reality or to come to terms with the life one once expected to live. Someone with a life altering illness and family responsibilities is likely terrified of the future and how to provide for his child and current family.

I believe dad's health and how it affects the parent-child relationship is a very important consideration, What is in the best interest of the child in facilitating this in the new reality?

What are the statuses of the CPS cases and when were they filed? I find it unusual that the cases were filed BY the children and not by adults for actions against the children as you stated. I know of a case where a child of a friend called our equivalent because the parent took away video game privileges. To a 9 yo, that is abuse.

CHF is certainly a legitimate reason for being unable to keep up with the previous schedule. It is also a reason to encourage your child - and you - to be sympathetic to and realistic about dad health problems. It would also limit his ability to have extended visits on a long distance parenting plan. It could/should be devastating to a child if something happened to dad while they were estranged. It is far more reasonable for him to have short but regular visits such as a weekly dinner out if financially feasible. I know it is hard for a teen to give up weekend time, but if the step mother is agreeable, perhaps DD could just sit and watch TV with him on a regular basis.

I strongly encourage you to discuss the situation with professionals given the new information about dad's health. In addition to the support and custody questions (if dad gets SSDI, the child would get a child's benefit which should replace the ordered support), dad really needs to communicate his plans for his estate in relationship to the child; if he has no estate plan, you should understand intestate estate distributions for his state of residency and the handling of arrears if they exist.

Your child's situation is far more complex than originally presented.

ETA I really feel sorry for your child. She is old enough to understand her dad's health problems.