not allowed at school

[mrsshoebox129]

My husband has an 8 yr old daughter. We live in Alabama, and have been married for 4 years. He and the ex were divorced before the daughter was born. We have always been in contact with the school. I send snacks,etc. We have to get all info from the school because her mother wont tell us a thing. This year I usually send snacks on Fridays (with teachers permission- and she appreciates my help), send goodies for parties, make dozens of caramel apples for their halloween carnival, and so on and on.
Well, for Thanksgiving, I told the teacher that I had a cute idea for a treat, she suggested that instead of making the cookie and sending it, that I bring the items and help the class make it during school. Great with me. The night before, the teacher called and said the principal had called her because my husbands ex called him and pitched a huge fit that i wasn't allowed to be at school because she is primary custodian (we have joint custody) and she will not allow me there at all and my husband may come on occassion! The teacher was mortified. I apologized, she said it's not you. She couldn't believe that I couldn't come. She had to abide by what the principal told her. She said if it was up to her I was welcome anytime.
I sent the items for the kids to make anyway.
My husbands ex took the child out of school early that day just in case I came anyway,which i wouldn't do.
HELP. This cant be right. I am no criminal. I am just wanting to help.
Does this have any relationship with FERPA?

 

[LegalBeagle]

My husband has an 8 yr old daughter. We live in Alabama, and have been married for 4 years. He and the ex were divorced before the daughter was born. We have always been in contact with the school. I send snacks,etc. We have to get all info from the school because her mother wont tell us a thing. This year I usually send snacks on Fridays (with teachers permission- and she appreciates my help), send goodies for parties, make dozens of caramel apples for their halloween carnival, and so on and on.
Well, for Thanksgiving, I told the teacher that I had a cute idea for a treat, she suggested that instead of making the cookie and sending it, that I bring the items and help the class make it during school. Great with me. The night before, the teacher called and said the principal had called her because my husbands ex called him and pitched a huge fit that i wasn't allowed to be at school because she is primary custodian (we have joint custody) and she will not allow me there at all and my husband may come on occassion! The teacher was mortified. I apologized, she said it's not you. She couldn't believe that I couldn't come. She had to abide by what the principal told her. She said if it was up to her I was welcome anytime.
I sent the items for the kids to make anyway.
My husbands ex took the child out of school early that day just in case I came anyway,which i wouldn't do.
HELP. This cant be right. I am no criminal. I am just wanting to help.
Does this have any relationship with FERPA?

Unfortunately, you have no legal rights and the mother can inform the school that only the bio parents can have access to the school and child. It is a shame since you were doing such a great thing.. but bottom line is that the bio mother is legally correct and there is nothing you can do about it.. unless your husband, the father of the child, went with you..

 

[mrsshoebox129]

So, if my husband attends the school to help out, see a play, whatever, then I can tag along too without interference from her?

 

[MySonsMom]

Yes, you can go with your husband. As far as attending a play or activity such as that; I believe anyone is welcome to attend those kind of things with or without a biological parent of a child...But obviously not the close contact with the classroom. That's kind of sad. You were doing something nice. Bless you.

 

[Tigres]

Ah, the wicked mother syndrome! Take heart Mrs. Shoebox (Where did that name come from anyway? Curiosity and that cat, you know...) Simply rest assured that you were doing a good thing and pray that your ex-in-law can grow to be a more accepting person in the future!

Just keep doing what is right by the step-children and stay with in the boundaries (however silly they seem) and you'll be fine.

Tig

http://smilecwm.tripod.com/fk/daisy.gif