Not exactly a homework question...

[CJane]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MO/irrelevant

This was somewhat inspired by a paper my sister is writing/somewhat just one of those questions that niggles in your brain...


A friend of my sister's just recently adopted the child of her partner. The child was conceived via anonymous donor and the partner is the birth mother. Now, apparently, the child has 2 legal mothers?

My question is, where is the loophole in the law that allows for THIS but would not allow my BF to adopt my son unless he became my husband and we were together for a significant period of time?

There was no home study performed in this adoption, no requirement that the two people be married (obviously) and in fact these two people are no longer 'together' - and weren't when the adoption was finalized.

Can someone either 'splain or point me in the right direction for an explanation? Because all I could say to my sister is "Hm. They won't let straight people do that."

Am I wrong?

 

[Antigone*]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MO/irrelevant

This was somewhat inspired by a paper my sister is writing/somewhat just one of those questions that niggles in your brain...


A friend of my sister's just recently adopted the child of her partner. The child was conceived via anonymous donor and the partner is the birth mother. Now, apparently, the child has 2 legal mothers?

My question is, where is the loophole in the law that allows for THIS but would not allow my BF to adopt my son unless he became my husband and we were together for a significant period of time?

There was no home study performed in this adoption, no requirement that the two people be married (obviously) and in fact these two people are no longer 'together' - and weren't when the adoption was finalized.

Can someone either 'splain or point me in the right direction for an explanation? Because all I could say to my sister is "Hm. They won't let straight people do that."

Am I wrong?

Kind of sounds like discrimination to me...

I guess you can chalk one up for the other side.

 

[CJane]

I don't think so, mwarren. I think that even if I'd been artificially inseminated and given birth to Twain w/no way to name a legal father, I would not be able to have 'someone' adopt him w/out the benefit of marriage - or even cohabitation. These two women are not even still in a relationship.

If Twain was an orphan, I couldn't go into court and say "Can my male friend whom I'm not romantically involved with and who has no legal or biological claim to this child and whom I never intend to have any sort of legal relationship with please adopt my child?" Would NOT happen.

 

[wileybunch]

Interesting because where it is allowed, one would think the same rules would apply as do for heterosexual parents adopting. If one or the other ends up here at some point asking for advice because they are now in a straight relationship and wish for their child to have a mother AND a father, the "you slept with XXX, you chose the mother/father then" replies will be interesting.

 

[stealth2]

I wanna know how all the legalities are going to work for Cat Cora and her partner. Both are pregnant via anonymous sperm donor. BUT... Cora is carrying her partner's biological child, while her partner is carrying Cora's biological child. So each is birth mother to one, but bio mother to the other.

Talk about complicated!

 

[stealth2]

I, personally, find it fascinating. And, frankly.... if people are in a place in life where they are able to love and care for a child... I find it hard to condemn them for it. Regardless of their sexual preference. They're certainly more fit than a lot of the dreck we see around here!

 

[summerdawn]

I wanna know how all the legalities are going to work for Cat Cora and her partner. Both are pregnant via anonymous sperm donor. BUT... Cora is carrying her partner's biological child, while her partner is carrying Cora's biological child. So each is birth mother to one, but bio mother to the other.

Talk about complicated!

Wow, that's gonna be one for the legal history books.

ETA: OK, that got me interested so I googled her name. In one of the articles it says she is pregnant and that her and her wife and 'their kids live [blah blah blah]', so apparently they already have two kids and both ladies are the legal parents of the kids they already have?

In a situation like this where they are both pregnant, do they go to court afterwards and the non birth mom has to adopt the kids, or is the child just considered the other parent's because it was born of their marriage? (I am assuming they have a legally recognized marriage because the article called the other lady Cat's wife.)

Sorry, i'm not discriminating or anyhing, I was just curious.

 

[CJane]

I, personally, find it fascinating. And, frankly.... if people are in a place in life where they are able to love and care for a child... I find it hard to condemn them for it. Regardless of their sexual preference. They're certainly more fit than a lot of the dreck we see around here!

I'm fascinated by it as well. I think it's VERY interesting that this is happening in MO - I'm certain the laws were not intended for 'them'. LOL

My sister insists I'm wrong and marriage isn't required at all for anyone for adoption of a child w/no legal father - or an orphan or whatever. That D'man COULD adopt Twain, marriage or no, if he didn't have a legal father.

I insist that there's no way that would happen, but mainly from reading all the 'step-parent adoption' threads HERE that state one must be married X years before an adoption can happen.

Please don't take this as me thinking D'man SHOULD adopt Twain, I'm just using us as an example because we're the only couple I know w/a situation remotely similar to what S and her partner have.

 

[nextwife]

They should let any committed couples in long term relationships marry, and they especially should allow any responsible couple, regardless of sexual preference, adopt children. ESPECIALLY if they are getting a child OUT of the orphanage or foster system who would otherwise grow up never knowing the love of any family of their own. IMHO.


I don't get why the anti gay religious conservatives think leaving kids to rot in orphanages is PREFERABLE to them getting a family, even if a same sex couple. Are they so naive that they think a perfect heterosexual couple exists out there who would otherwise be adopting all these kids? Do they REALLY think the alternative to same sex couples adopting them is heterosexual couples adopting them, instead of the reality of NOBODY adopting these kids?

Sorry for the side bar. All these anti gay adoption laws really tick me off, because that's that many additional homes these kids won't get to have. Esspecially when so many of those voting in favor of those laws are NOT themselves doing squat to give these kids an adoptive home themselves.

 

[haiku]

I too find the cat Cora family fascinating, this will be their 3rd and 4th children they have already done this before, with their two older boys.

I do think the OP question is interesting, if its in a state where gay marriage has not been made legal.