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Not married, unborn child

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The Occultist

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Arizona

I attempted to use the search bar first, but it's not working right now; I even searched "ticket" and still no search results were found.

I'm asking this on the behalf of a friend of mine (oh man, I'm actually saying that!).

My friend was dating (never married) her boyfriend, and ended up becoming pregnant. They have since broken up, and the baby is still not born yet. Her ex-boyfriend is now demanding some sort of custody over the unborn child, and she doesn't feel that he should play any sort of father role based on the irresponsible way he has treated her first-born child (of another man).

He is threatening to take this to court if he doesn't have his way. I have already advised that she should sit down with one or two local attorneys that are versed in such law, but in the meantime I was hoping to provide any insight I can.

Is she obligated to allow any amount of custody or visitation to this father? I don't believe she intends on attempting to procure any child support from him, but I suspect she may change her mind; is she entitled to such? And if she chooses to cash in on the child support, does that change the answer to the first question?

Any insight you experts can offer would be greatly appreciated!
 


Ohiogal

Queen Bee
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Arizona

I attempted to use the search bar first, but it's not working right now; I even searched "ticket" and still no search results were found.

I'm asking this on the behalf of a friend of mine (oh man, I'm actually saying that!).
Third party questions are difficult to answer.

My friend was dating (never married) her boyfriend, and ended up becoming pregnant. They have since broken up, and the baby is still not born yet. Her ex-boyfriend is now demanding some sort of custody over the unborn child, and she doesn't feel that he should play any sort of father role based on the irresponsible way he has treated her first-born child (of another man).
And yet she thought him appropriate to impregnate her. Nice parenting there MOM.

He is threatening to take this to court if he doesn't have his way.
Not a threat. That is something he can and SHOULD do.

I have already advised that she should sit down with one or two local attorneys that are versed in such law, but in the meantime I was hoping to provide any insight I can.
Okay.

Is she obligated to allow any amount of custody or visitation to this father?
Yes when the court orders it. Court orders are NOT suggestions. And a court could slam her for not allowing the child's father -- you know, the man SHE CHOSE -- from having contact with the child just because there is NOT a court order.

I don't believe she intends on attempting to procure any child support from him, but I suspect she may change her mind; is she entitled to such?
If she keeps primary custody.
And if she chooses to cash in on the child support, does that change the answer to the first question?
Child support is NOT an admission fee to see the child. Dad, once paternity is established, will be entitled to some sort of custody/visitation. Both parents will be financially obligated to support the child.
Any insight you experts can offer would be greatly appreciated!
The biggest insight -- mom needs to get over herself and realize the child has TWO parents not just her.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
I agree with OG, however, your friend does not have to communicate with dad at all if its stressing her pregnancy.
 

nextwife

Senior Member
Legally, during the PREGANANCY, there is NO CHILD. Once there is a live birth, then and only then can he be legally established as the father, should he choose to file for such establishment. If he is the father, he has the constitutionally guarantied right to file for a schedule and a right to co-parent HIS child.

Your "friend" needs to realize that the single most important decision a woman makes in her life is WHO she chooses as her child's co-parent. The time for good choices is BEFORE conception. Once pregnant, she is tied to this man to be her child's father for a minimum of the next 18 years.
 

TheGeekess

Keeper of the Kraken
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Arizona

Her ex-boyfriend is now demanding some sort of custody over the unborn child,

Any insight you experts can offer would be greatly appreciated!
Tell him when he can get pregnant, then he can have custody of an unborn child. :p
 
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Arizona

I attempted to use the search bar first, but it's not working right now; I even searched "ticket" and still no search results were found.

I'm asking this on the behalf of a friend of mine (oh man, I'm actually saying that!).

My friend was dating (never married) her boyfriend, and ended up becoming pregnant. They have since broken up, and the baby is still not born yet. Her ex-boyfriend is now demanding some sort of custody over the unborn child, and she doesn't feel that he should play any sort of father role based on the irresponsible way he has treated her first-born child (of another man).

He is threatening to take this to court if he doesn't have his way. I have already advised that she should sit down with one or two local attorneys that are versed in such law, but in the meantime I was hoping to provide any insight I can.

Is she obligated to allow any amount of custody or visitation to this father? I don't believe she intends on attempting to procure any child support from him, but I suspect she may change her mind; is she entitled to such? And if she chooses to cash in on the child support, does that change the answer to the first question?

Any insight you experts can offer would be greatly appreciated!
Best advice you can offer her.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Legally, during the PREGANANCY, there is NO CHILD. Once there is a live birth, then and only then can he be legally established as the father, should he choose to file for such establishment. If he is the father, he has the constitutionally guarantied right to file for a schedule and a right to co-parent HIS child.

Your "friend" needs to realize that the single most important decision a woman makes in her life is WHO she chooses as her child's co-parent. The time for good choices is BEFORE conception. Once pregnant, she is tied to this man to be her child's father for a minimum of the next 18 years.
Truthfully with The Occultist I believe it is a friend. I don't think this senior would try to get one over on us.
 

The Occultist

Senior Member
Thanks for the trust Ohiogal! :)

Thank you all for your responses. They are essentially along the same lines as I believed them to be. And you're right, this [young] lady certainly needs to get over herself and get her stuff together, and, legally speaking or not, I just don't feel that pushing a potential father figure away would be in her best interests.
 

xylene

Senior Member
Legal reality check.

Outside of an adoption occurring, the mother and the father ARE "tied" together as parents to the child...
Mother has the unilateral right to an abortion, without any restraint from father.

Mother has the right to carry the child to term over any objections of father.

Mother and fathers rights are not equal concerning the 'unborn' and the unborn have scant rights at all.

The number of posters, especially from states where abortion is less understood / legally protected, who do not understand those facts and rights continuous to scandalize me.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
Mother has the unilateral right to an abortion, without any restraint from father.

Mother has the right to carry the child to term over any objections of father.

Mother and fathers rights are not equal concerning the 'unborn' and the unborn have scant rights at all.

The number of posters, especially from states where abortion is less understood / legally protected, who do not understand those facts and rights continuous to scandalize me.
My post was a bit off-topic for this thread. I was referring to the "born" child.
 

nextwife

Senior Member
Mother has the unilateral right to an abortion, without any restraint from father.

Mother has the right to carry the child to term over any objections of father.

Mother and fathers rights are not equal concerning the 'unborn' and the unborn have scant rights at all.

The number of posters, especially from states where abortion is less understood / legally protected, who do not understand those facts and rights continuous to scandalize me.
Corrected: Once conception occurs, if carried to term, the mother and father are tied together for at least the next 18 years, if either dad or mom establish legal paternity of dad.
 

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