Not sure where to turn

[mom2mike]

What is the name of your state? Pennsylvania
I'm going to try and keep this short & simple. My ex-husband feels he is above the law. We (husband & I) have had nothing but trouble from him since day one. for almost 6 years he refused to pay support. I dropped it once to see if he would wise up & do the right thing but he did not. I re-filed only to have him tell my son mean lies about us: "your mother dosen't love you , she just wants the $25 a week (you read right, $25.00), to spend on herself. "She is the one putting the warrant out for my arrest." I can go on for hours! So this past christmas, when there was already a warrant for non payment, the state police pick him up for a 5 year old DUI warrant. He had no choice but to pay the back support. He got out, stopped all payments again & moved to a neighboring town. My son is with him every other weekend and most hoilidays but if there is a warrant he can't go. I signed my son up for football, after the Oncology Drs. said it was ok, & practice was to start shortly after he went to his fathers house for the first half of the summer. I come to find out he has not gone to practice, either because his father dosen't want to drive him or he's afraid because he dosen't have a drivers license. My son comes home in a few weeks but is there anything I can do legally? I would like supervised visits and sole custody because my son does not need this kind of role model in his life

 

[stealth2]

Generally, the other parent is not obligated to honor commitments you've made for the kid on his time.

 

[mom2mike]

but the father did know, and told me & his son that he would take him to practice. My son is aslo gets "counceling" from an area agency. During the summer months his TSS worker meets w/ him, and this man is also the football coach. the father told him drs. said he can't play any sports because he had a bone marrow transplant, his donor was female so now his DNA is all female! I'm not a Dr. but who would believe something like that! There's also a poss. of another arrest warrant that I just found out about.

 

[stealth2]

It doesn't matter. Dad's time is his to plan - not yours. He is under no obligation to take the kid.

 

[mom2mike]

thanks for your input.

 

[casa]

What is the name of your state? Pennsylvania
I'm going to try and keep this short & simple. My ex-husband feels he is above the law. We (husband & I) have had nothing but trouble from him since day one. for almost 6 years he refused to pay support. I dropped it once to see if he would wise up & do the right thing but he did not. I re-filed only to have him tell my son mean lies about us: "your mother dosen't love you , she just wants the $25 a week (you read right, $25.00), to spend on herself. "She is the one putting the warrant out for my arrest." I can go on for hours! So this past christmas, when there was already a warrant for non payment, the state police pick him up for a 5 year old DUI warrant. He had no choice but to pay the back support. He got out, stopped all payments again & moved to a neighboring town. My son is with him every other weekend and most hoilidays but if there is a warrant he can't go. I signed my son up for football, after the Oncology Drs. said it was ok, & practice was to start shortly after he went to his fathers house for the first half of the summer. I come to find out he has not gone to practice, either because his father dosen't want to drive him or he's afraid because he dosen't have a drivers license. My son comes home in a few weeks but is there anything I can do legally? I would like supervised visits and sole custody because my son does not need this kind of role model in his life

Child Support & Visitation are two separate animals. Follow through with Child Support Enforcement re; the support issues. Visitation must follow the court order unless/until you modify the order in court. To have supervised visitations or to change legal custody to Sole rather than Joint- You'll have to prove that the father is a danger to the child. (Not just by making ignorant comments about blood donation- but by being a physical or psychological danger).

If your son is in counseling, what does the counselor say re; the effect (if any) father's behavior has on your son?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? Pennsylvania
I'm going to try and keep this short & simple. My ex-husband feels he is above the law. We (husband & I) have had nothing but trouble from him since day one. for almost 6 years he refused to pay support. I dropped it once to see if he would wise up & do the right thing but he did not. I re-filed only to have him tell my son mean lies about us: "your mother dosen't love you , she just wants the $25 a week (you read right, $25.00), to spend on herself. "She is the one putting the warrant out for my arrest." I can go on for hours! So this past christmas, when there was already a warrant for non payment, the state police pick him up for a 5 year old DUI warrant. He had no choice but to pay the back support. He got out, stopped all payments again & moved to a neighboring town. My son is with him every other weekend and most hoilidays but if there is a warrant he can't go. I signed my son up for football, after the Oncology Drs. said it was ok, & practice was to start shortly after he went to his fathers house for the first half of the summer. I come to find out he has not gone to practice, either because his father dosen't want to drive him or he's afraid because he dosen't have a drivers license. My son comes home in a few weeks but is there anything I can do legally? I would like supervised visits and sole custody because my son does not need this kind of role model in his life

Your ex-husband certainly doesn't sound like a "prize"...but realistically if he has no driver's license you shouldn't want him driving your son anywhere. Therefore it wasn't logical to sign your child up for an activity that takes place during dad's time. I do think that parents should make an effort to cooperate (within reason) with their children's activities, but they are not legally required to do so.

 

[mom2mike]

thanks to all for the posts. I tried to tell the ex that I would drive our son to practice but he wouldn't go for it. I'm trying to get another court hearing to set some rules about the driving but it's like trying to get blood from a stone w/ the system here. My ex is the kind of person that will tell you what you want ot hear, then do whatever he wants anyway. I would aslo like a psychological exam for my ex but from what I understand I would have to pay for it. My $ tree out back is bare. I need to do something before my son is hurt anymore than he is now. I'll keep you posted.