...not sure

[morningxstar31]

What is the name of your state?Maryland


Before i even explain my whole life, i just want to know if there is anything i can do.

My parents feel there is no problem hitting me...my mom hits me across the face repeatedly, grabs my arms or any part she happens to make contact with... my dad grabs me by the neck (front and back)...actually threw/shoved me out of the house just because he was pissed off and told me that i was not respectful and that i can never question his control and power b/c i said i was going to call 911 for child abuse, so he threw me out told me not to come back....but i did anyway and then when i was inside i went back in the basement where he was...he came after me and grabed me by the neck (front) and told me to stay out of the basement but told me i couldn't leave the house or he'd call the cops. oh and not to mention i'm pretty much a slave for my parents but i think they pretty much have the right to do whatever they want to me by reading other forum posts...my dad also says i have to do chores and work to earn a living at my house...he says he pays for my food and gives me a place to sleep and that he doesn't have to and that i have to work for it...earn my keep...but i was pretty sure they HAD to supply both.

 

[Wolflmg]

What is the name of your state?Maryland


Before i even explain my whole life, i just want to know if there is anything i can do.

My parents feel there is no problem hitting me...my mom hits me across the face repeatedly, grabs my arms or any part she happens to make contact with... my dad grabs me by the neck (front and back)...actually threw/shoved me out of the house just because he was pissed off and told me that i was not respectful and that i can never question his control and power b/c i said i was going to call 911 for child abuse, so he threw me out told me not to come back....but i did anyway and then when i was inside i went back in the basement where he was...he came after me and grabed me by the neck (front) and told me to stay out of the basement but told me i couldn't leave the house or he'd call the cops. oh and not to mention i'm pretty much a slave for my parents but i think they pretty much have the right to do whatever they want to me by reading other forum posts...my dad also says i have to do chores and work to earn a living at my house...he says he pays for my food and gives me a place to sleep and that he doesn't have to and that i have to work for it...earn my keep...but i was pretty sure they HAD to supply both.

Nothing wrong with doing chores and getting a job, to earn money and a living.

But why all of a sudden our your parents beating you, in your other post you didn't mention any of that about when they took away your cell phone.

If your parents are truely beating you and holding you down while you do it. Then call the cops or CPS, or tell a trusted adult about what is happening to you. Because if your parents are abusing you, then marks will probably be on your body to prove it.

 

[morningxstar31]

okay well you are confused with the story...the reason i asked in the other post "If you pay for your own cell phone plan can they take away your cell phone as punishment?" was because i'm thinking about getting my own cell phone...i have one with the family plan but i don't want it anymore. The thing is a few months ago my dad made me sign a contract saying "i can only use 9 hours a week on my cell phone" (long distance relationship requires lots of talking before you start thinking 9 hours is a lot) so me and my dad both signed the contract and since during the summer i used a lot of day time minutes...the phone bill came in and it was like $400 for my phone...i didn't mean for this to happen but according to the contract i did what i was allowed to do...talk 9 hours a week no matter when...in the contract it never stated only free nights and weekends....now my dad is making me get a job to pay the whole thing. and my dad says there is another phone bill coming in for a lot more...so the day i got a job...(yesterday) i asked my dad, can i have my cell phone back so i can make free night and weekend calls since i took the responsibility to get a job and he says no you aren't getting it back till you pay the phone bill off....so i said to him, with the $400 i make i can get my own cell phone plan and pay for it...i was also like dad according to our contract i don't have to pay sh** b/c i didn't do anything wrong. And they say any money i make goes directly to them. Can they really just take my money that i make?

And for the beating thing...um well no there aren't marks....it doesn't happen everyday....this week twice by my mom....last week was the incident with my dad....it happenes whenever they are pissed off and can't control themselves. thats why if i call and the people come investigate and don't find anything wrong i'm in SO MUCH SH** with my parents...like i'll be grounded forever because i did that to them. the only way i'd call the cops or whoever is if i'm sure they'll find something out or believe me....they wont just believe a kid above 2 parents that will deny doing it.

 

[Wolflmg]

Your parents do have the right to make you pay for your cellphone bill, since it went over the ammount your allowed per month. My kid sister got in trouble for her phone bill and had to pay part of it. And they can keep your phone away from you as long as they feel needed.

Your not making yourself look to good for a kid that maybe abused by their parents. You broke the rules with the whole cell phone deal and their making you pay for the bill. However if your parents are truely harming you in a way that could hurt you or break any of your bone, you should call the cop, CPS, a trusted adult or get in contact with a doctor or consouler.

 

[morningxstar31]

you make it seem like the only kids that need help are the ones who can't move because they hurt too much from their beatings. What i interpret from you is that "oh well you know a few smacks, hits, grabbing as hard as possible, holding against a wall, holding you by the neck....once in awhile aren't any biggies...i mean as long as its not everyday....and the fact there aren't any marks on your body means they can't possibly be hurting you or doing anything wrong."

okay and wow i'm a teenager...i didn't "break the rules" about my cell phone usage...it was an honest mistake racking up the phone bill, but i had all the right to use my 9 hours a week. if i knew it would cost that much i wouldn't have done it but my dad allowed me 9 hours a week and i used it...maybe i could understand where you are coming from if i actually was a bad kid and went out and drank alcohol and did drugs or made my parents lives living hell....but i'm not like that i never go out, i get good grades, i play sports....the occasional teenage angst of course...but you make it seem like okay i break the rules so they disipline....well its in no way disipline when they hurt me out of rage.

 

[Wolflmg]

I never said you were a bad kid. You do what must teenagers do and rank up the phone bill, it's normal.

What I'm getting at is first you asked about the cell phone thing, and never said one word about being hit. Most kids that get hit would ask who they should contact if they are bing abused by their parents, before they got into on how their cellphone was taken away, becasue their bill was 400, which is a lot of money for a teenager to use per month. I was getting the feeling you seemed more concerend about your cellphone.

If your parents are harming you, then you need to tell someone, the cops, cps and the others I have listed to you. If this is happening you need to be removed from your home and placed in foster care or be placed with another relative. That is the only way anyone can help you get out of the situation of being abused by your parents.

 

[morningxstar31]

okay...well i wasn't sure if i wanted to actually use this site and tell the world about my family problems....and don't compare me to "most kids". this site shouldn't be about what most people experience or do. you deal with different individuals everyday with different situations, don't say well since "Johnny and Susy did this everyone else must too" i know thats a little exagerate but you're questioning whether my parents really hit me or not....i don't think people come on here and lie...and if they do thats stupid...i'm asking for help not for what i should have done to make my story believable....i told my story, don't be an investigator and try to figure out why i didn't explain hitting before my cell phone....there could be a million reasons why i didn't say my parents hit me first.

and you'll respond saying something smart and then say "WELL IF THEY REALLY ARE hurting you, then contact this and this..." what i want to know is what are the odds something can be done about my situation...by calling the cops or whoever...what can they do....THAT is what i need to know from you, not questions on "why you explained your cell phone story first.." You should understand that if i make an effort to call the cops and they can't do anything my situation will become a lot worse...i don't want that to happen so i need the details on how the process would work please.

 

[Wolflmg]

I'm not calling you a liar, but people have come on here and lied. I'm not trying to be the bad guy, I gave you the facts. Kids lie, teenagers and even adults lie. And sometimes some of them make up stories, just so they get their way. I'm not saying your one of them, but there are some that are.

You would have to call the cops or cps, tell them what's going on. If they feel needed and will look into your situation, by questioning you, your parents and perhap even nieghbors. Sometime nieghbors can hear yelling coming from the homes. If your situation checks out you will be removed from your home and placed with foster care, the care of another realtive or sometimes a detention place, ussaly they only send you there if they have no where to place you while, the case gets checked out by police.

If the police find that your parents are abusing you they will be arrested and probably would lose custody of you. If there is no realtive to take you in, then you would become a ward of the state and probably would be placed in foster care.

But you would have to make the call, you need to be the one to do it. If you feel you cannot call the cops on your own, then ask a trusted adult, maybe one of your friends parents. Or if you feel you can trust another realtive, aunt, uncle, grandparent, call one of them.

Has this been an on going thing with your parents hitting you? If so, sometime a doctor with taking picture of the bones and such, can find old brusing.

I'm sorry if it seemed I was being mean to you, but I was getting the imprission that you were upset with your parent for taking you phone away, because of how much your bill was, and that you were upset that your father wanted you to get a job to pay for it. You have to understand from my point of view that it seemed as if you were angry with your parents, so angry that you might make up things. I'm not saying that's the case here, but there have been cases where that does happen. Just because someone is an indivisaul does not mean, that things like this can't happen. It can happen to anyone. Again I am sorry, if you really feel you are no longer safe in your home, then you know what to do. Good luck.

 

[morningxstar31]

Thank you for your help, i appreciate it a lot.

The whole neighbors thing wouldn't work i have driveway neighbors....as in there are houses at the end of my driveway....not near my house.

And this has been going on forever....like i said it's not an everyday thing but it's continuous...when i was younger my parents would pin me against the wall (with their hand) by my neck...they haven't done that in about a year.

And even if they interviewed any neighbor nothing would happen...my neighbors would back up my parents completely....one of my neighbors already thinks i'm crazy....He thought i was sleep walking outside my house when i was hiding behind my barn just to get away from my parents...but i think my neighbors do know my mom is bipolar so they might mention that. Just i feel i'll be the only one on my side, and that wont get me anywhere :-\ I'm not too sure on what i will decide on doing, i'm probably going to talk to people i know well to see what they think, but thank you for opening my options.

 

[Wolflmg]

Thank you for your help, i appreciate it a lot.

The whole neighbors thing wouldn't work i have driveway neighbors....as in there are houses at the end of my driveway....not near my house.

And this has been going on forever....like i said it's not an everyday thing but it's continuous...when i was younger my parents would pin me against the wall (with their hand) by my neck...they haven't done that in about a year.

And even if they interviewed any neighbor nothing would happen...my neighbors would back up my parents completely....one of my neighbors already thinks i'm crazy....He thought i was sleep walking outside my house when i was hiding behind my barn just to get away from my parents...but i think my neighbors do know my mom is bipolar so they might mention that. Just i feel i'll be the only one on my side, and that wont get me anywhere :-\ I'm not too sure on what i will decide on doing, i'm probably going to talk to people i know well to see what they think, but thank you for opening my options.

Does you mother take medication for her bi-polar, from the sound of it she doesn't, which could result in her behavior for hitting. As for your dad if he has no mental sickness then he would get into big trouble. If you do choose to call the police of cps, what would happen with your mother is I think she would be sent someplace, with doctors and consouling, which will try to get her to take her medication. And if they feel she is able to get back up on her feet and is in the right kind of mind, she might be able to get you back, but probably have visits from a socail worker to make sure everything is going fine.

If you do know your mother isn't taking her medication, make sure that you tell that to the police, cps and an adult friend that you have asked to help you.

 

[morningxstar31]

no she takes medicine...has a psychiatrist, and a therapist, but medicine is difficult for people of this disorder...it took my mom a year just to find one that would work...and it messes with your body functions and everything...i know of another person who suffers worse than my mom and they can't even get a medicine to work well...but i don't know thanks again for your help.

 

[Wolflmg]

no she takes medicine...has a psychiatrist, and a therapist, but medicine is difficult for people of this disorder...it took my mom a year just to find one that would work...and it messes with your body functions and everything...i know of another person who suffers worse than my mom and they can't even get a medicine to work well...but i don't know thanks again for your help.

No prob. If your not confortable with calling the police of cps, once school starts up talk with your school consouler, most of them are trained for situations with trouble in the homes, abuse and so on.

 

[Widowmom]

It truly worries me that your mom is bipolar and is having issues dealing with her anger towards you. I don't want to scare you, but it sounds like when she is in her manic phase, she gets angry and can't control it. It makes alot of since that the abuse comes in stages. People who are bipolar, go through these phases and some of them become violent. Please do not wait to seek help. The next time may be to late. I am telling you this from experience.

If you have no one else to turn to, talk to one of your teachers. This is not a situation you take lightly.