Not the mama not married yet, Back support from the ex

[alrobmo]

From Iowa. I have been living with a man and his son for 12 years. He has always had custody and has never recieved any child support. Can I sue her for back support? We are not married but plan to in 2001. During this 12 years I have been called out of work to pick up this child from school because of his disruptive behavior. I have gladly helped to raise this child who is now 17 even tho there has been many challenges, financially and emotionally. The one time she tried to take him for the summer she immediatly slapped a support order on the father even tho he agreed to pay the after school care and any other misc. items that should arise. During that summer she only kept him for a few weeks. She does keep in contact with her son when it's convenient for her and she sends him letters with photos of her, "oh this is me in Vegas" or "this is us in Mexico." ETC. I like vacation too but I'm to busy tring to raise my son as well as hers. Is there anything that I can do to be reimbursed by this deadbeat mom? She now lives in California and we now live in Iowa. Thank you

 

[usmcfamily]

The first thing you need to realize is that married or not you are not able to sue this woman for any form of support when it comes to this child. The boy's father is the only individual in this situation with the right to sue the mother and it is he who must initiate any form of petition to the court.
You stated he never "received" support - but was there ever any support ordered? If there was no order in place then the only monies your man is entitled to will be from the date he files his petition to the day the boy reaches majority. This may seem unfair, but the fact is the support should have been pursued years ago and so is now "lost" to the boy and his father. If, though, there was an order for support issued at the time of custody then he will be entitled to the arrearages (all monies she has failed to pay as ordered)....and needs to pursue legal action to collect.
If there is no support order and the boy is now 17 - it is likely to take longer and cost more to pursue the support then the father would be eligible to collect (depending on local statute it is likely that support would only be ordered to 18 - possibly longer if the boy attends college)...and so it would seem that to pursue this now would be a little pointless.
Good luck and God Bless

 

[alrobmo]

oh well

Thank you for the quick response usmcfamily. God bless you and Peace