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notarized letter and a big mess

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What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? TX

Hello to all, I have a problem and would value everyone's advice and opinions.
I have a nine year old son. Paternity was established in late 2001 and child support was started as well. The court made dad and I joint conservators of our son. Dad never took advantage of his visitation and has remained behind in CS payments throughout the years. In October of 2009 I asked dad for his consent on a application for my sons passport, dad said he would only agree if I waived all support, current and behind. I agreed only if he would sign away all of his right to our son. I consulted an atty in Killeen TX and was told it was perfectly legal and acceptable to do this with a notarized letter. Dad and I met in his City of residence and we did just that. The AGs office told me on three different occasions that the case was closed. All that needed to be done was I had to fill out some papers that were in the mail to finalize all this, but the case was no longer active. I never received such papers. I called the AGs office Friday and was told that I had been terribly misinformed that this is TPR and must be signed by a judge and I would need a private atty who handles such cases. I then phoned dad who says I have to close the CS case. He says if I do not do so he will insist I send my son to him over the summer. My son knows this man is his father but he is in reality no more than a stranger since there has been no contact between my son and his father since 2001 in which dad saw our son at the court house. He says if I refuse to send him I will be in contempt of a court order but can avoid it all if I just close the CS case. He said I have his word that he will not try and enforce his visitation but his stipulations must be met. His wife says that she thinks he should get to know his son and she should know her step son. She said to me that she will encourage dad to take advantage of his summer and I need not worry she would take good care of my child. He then said that I will be liable for all costs of flying my son from here to the states. I will not be flying my child anywhere, please understand my son does not know him. I will fight it every step of the way, dad is not interested only using a child a leverage to get out of child support. What can I do?? Would a judge find me in contempt if I refused to stick my nine year old on a plane to stay with a family he doesn't know?? My husband wants to adopt my son, my son wants the same thing, I want this as well. Is the notarized document a legal agreement between me and dad? Can he enforce rights he agreed was in the child's best interest to terminate? The letter was very well written and included my husbands wishes to adopt and dads feelings that was the best for our son. Do I have any options, I called an atty in San Antonio and cannot afford his services. I just do not have the money at the time. Dad says I have a month to close the case or purchase a plane ticket. Please help :mad:
 


futuredust

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? TX

Hello to all, I have a problem and would value everyone's advice and opinions.
I have a nine year old son. Paternity was established in late 2001 and child support was started as well. The court made dad and I joint conservators of our son. Dad never took advantage of his visitation and has remained behind in CS payments throughout the years. In October of 2009 I asked dad for his consent on a application for my sons passport, dad said he would only agree if I waived all support, current and behind. I agreed only if he would sign away all of his right to our son. I consulted an atty in Killeen TX and was told it was perfectly legal and acceptable to do this with a notarized letter. Dad and I met in his City of residence and we did just that. The AGs office told me on three different occasions that the case was closed. All that needed to be done was I had to fill out some papers that were in the mail to finalize all this, but the case was no longer active. I never received such papers. I called the AGs office Friday and was told that I had been terribly misinformed that this is TPR and must be signed by a judge and I would need a private atty who handles such cases. I then phoned dad who says I have to close the CS case. He says if I do not do so he will insist I send my son to him over the summer. My son knows this man is his father but he is in reality no more than a stranger since there has been no contact between my son and his father since 2001 in which dad saw our son at the court house. He says if I refuse to send him I will be in contempt of a court order but can avoid it all if I just close the CS case. He said I have his word that he will not try and enforce his visitation but his stipulations must be met. His wife says that she thinks he should get to know his son and she should know her step son. She said to me that she will encourage dad to take advantage of his summer and I need not worry she would take good care of my child. He then said that I will be liable for all costs of flying my son from here to the states. I will not be flying my child anywhere, please understand my son does not know him. I will fight it every step of the way, dad is not interested only using a child a leverage to get out of child support. What can I do?? Would a judge find me in contempt if I refused to stick my nine year old on a plane to stay with a family he doesn't know?? My husband wants to adopt my son, my son wants the same thing, I want this as well. Is the notarized document a legal agreement between me and dad? Can he enforce rights he agreed was in the child's best interest to terminate? The letter was very well written and included my husbands wishes to adopt and dads feelings that was the best for our son. Do I have any options, I called an atty in San Antonio and cannot afford his services. I just do not have the money at the time. Dad says I have a month to close the case or purchase a plane ticket. Please help :mad:
Do you have dad's recent demands in writing? Where is the child located now?

Can he file for contempt if you don't allow the visit, yes. But he would have to file in court against you, thus incurring his own legal expenses to do so. A notarized letter is only a letter that someone (a notary) verified was signed by the persons signing. To terminate rights, it does need to be signed by a judge, same with an adoption. So you are either going to have to get (very)well versed in the county of jurisdiction's rules of civil procedure and do it yourself, or hire an attorney to do this for you.

With that said, while he can file for contempt, it's not likely you will be faulted since he is only doing so/showing an interest, after nine years, because of child support.
 
Thank you for you input futuredust. I do not have his demands in writing, we had this conversation over the phone. My son is with me in Europe, we were ordered to PCS here last year. If he filed for contempt do I have to come in person to court, could I do a video conference with them, lol my husband is signal and does that sort of thing for the Army he could most definitely set it up. If it comes to that could I possibly find an atty to do it pro bono?? And if I did do it myself what would be some good sites to visit to become well versed in family law?? I think dad is just bluffing trying to scare me into closing the case. Dad has at least 2 other children by different mothers to who he is supposed to pay support and does not, well unless he has given up rights to them as well I don't know. He said the AGs office is on his @$$ to pay and he will soon have to go to court for that as well.He apparently has some other legal problems, he didn't specify. Pretty much the message was if you make things any harder for me I will make things plenty hard for you.
 

futuredust

Senior Member
Thank you for you input futuredust. I do not have his demands in writing, we had this conversation over the phone. My son is with me in Europe, we were ordered to PCS here last year. If he filed for contempt do I have to come in person to court, could I do a video conference with them, lol my husband is signal and does that sort of thing for the Army he could most definitely set it up. If it comes to that could I possibly find an atty to do it pro bono?? And if I did do it myself what would be some good sites to visit to become well versed in family law?? I think dad is just bluffing trying to scare me into closing the case. Dad has at least 2 other children by different mothers to who he is supposed to pay support and does not, well unless he has given up rights to them as well I don't know. He said the AGs office is on his @$$ to pay and he will soon have to go to court for that as well.He apparently has some other legal problems, he didn't specify. Pretty much the message was if you make things any harder for me I will make things plenty hard for you.
I am pretty partial to this particular website regarding learning. You will find links posted by users that are also helpful here, start reading.

Word of advice here, don't bash dad, you chose him to have a child with. Your child has his blood coursing through their veins.

Why not close the child support case? If he is not paying, not going to pay, and you agreed to close it, then close it. Request the forms be sent to you again and just do it. You may be able to have them faxed to you today, and fax them back today. Dad could still take you to court for contempt if he requests the child and you refuse. Child support and visitation are two separate issues.

Pro bono attorneys are out there, but finding one is like finding a four leaf clover. Unless your case is so sensational, it will change case law or make a name with huge press coverage for said attorney, you are not going to get one on a TPR case. Now that is not to say that attorneys don't do pro bono work, they do. The American State Bar association recommends 50 hours per year, but each state has their own recommendations which can be lower. The ABA Military pro bono project provides services to enlisted and active duty military, which you are not.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
I really do think that you need to do whatever you can at this point to get the child support case closed with the AG's office. That won't stop dad's liability for child support, it will merely stop the AG's office from enforcing the court order.

However, I would not give in to his blackmail and put the child on a plane for extended summer visitation when dad is basically a total stranger to the child.

Dad could take you to court for contempt, but your defense would be that dad is a total stranger to the child and that it was not in the child's best interest to spend 42 days with a total stranger. You would also produce the notarized letter to show dad's intent, and would argue that dad stated to cancel the child support or produce the child for visitation. That part would come down to credibility, since it would be he said/she said, but with your other evidence dad's credibility would likely be low.

However, it absolutely would require you being present in court in TX, and/or have an attorney to represent you. Quite frankly, it would likely be less expensive to have an attorney represent you than to travel to the US for court.

I would get the child support enforce cancelled by the AG if I were in your shoes. I would move heaven and earth to make it happen. Then, when you get back to the states you could file to terminate his parental rights and for your husband to adopt.

The one potential problem in your case however, is that if you were ever on any kind of state assistance for the child, you CANNOT cancel the AG's enforcement...because some of the arrearages would belong to the state.
 
Thank you both for your advice. I guess I have no choice but to close the case. Its not about the money, heck I dont get any money from him, more so that he can "pull my strings" like that. But if it keeps me out of trouble and my child safe and comfortable at home with me than I am fine with it. Dad in this case is the loser, my son rocks!!! :D
 

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