Nursing Home Bound Mother

[baldy]

What is the name of your state? Nursing Home Bound Mother
What is the name of your state? Ohio.
My 87 yr old mother has been placed in a Nursing Home and on Medicade. She has lived in a Senior's Apartment, on a reduced rent, up to this point. Her rent for the apartment was a percentage of her Medicare.
While cleaning her apartment we found two (2) credit card bills, with a combined balance of $26,500.00. It appears that she has been making monthly payments, but now being in a Nursing Home she will not be able to make these payments, all her money is now going to the State for her Nursing Home Payments.
At one time, years ago, my name appeared on one of these accounts, but I asked her to remove my name as a user.
How do we handle these bills? I do not have the funds to be able to pay these accounts. She has nothing in the was of assests, stocks, bonds, never owned a home or had a bank account. She cashed her checks at the local store and paid with Money Orders.
I have check my credit report, but it only goes back two years and at this time I see nothing relating to these accounts.
I DO love my mother and would give anything to be able to help her with these unexpected bills, but my funds are very tight and I don't want to end up losing my home.
HELP!!!!!

 

[bigun]

As an AU, you have no liability. I think I'd just keep my head down. Check your reports every 6 months or so and let the cc company do what they will. They can't hurt your mother and no need giving them your contact info. My MIL spent the last few years of her life in a nursing home and there is not one damn thing easy about it for anyone. You don't need another potential hassle. Best wishes in the days ahead.

 

[baldy]

Bigun,
Thanks for your reply, I am at a rock and a hard place with this suprise. I have not yet contacted either of the cc's about her placement, and I really don't look forward to it. Should I just return the statements with a letter stating her placement amd loss of income or what?

 

[bigun]

Baldy,

I think I'd write a very BRIEF letter stating the situation and mention her age. I'd also ask the nusing home administrator to give you a statement that she is a medicade patient and enclose that in the letter.

 

[Jeter]

Bigun,

Great advice in my opinion and it's good to see the humanitarian aspect in a situation like this. I wholeheartedly agree and if it were a family member of mine I'd say the same thing. Let her live the rest of her life with whatever peace she can afford at this point. She doesn't need to have good credit at this stage of her life.

Baldy- I'm not sure if I would try to explain her situation to the cc company. They care only about where their payments will come from. They aren't going to simply accept that they aren't going to be paid. Your contacting them gives them a good reference point when they're ready to sic the collection dogs on her. Just my opinion.

Jeter

 

[bigun]

Baldy,

The more I think about it, I like Jeter's advice. Not that they'll bother your mother but, they may start trying to lay some sort of a guilt trip on you and try and make you feel obligated to pay. Tough call but, I think I'd be inclined to let the cc company figure it out for themselves.

 

[baldy]

Since one ot the accounts that she has is also with the same creidt card company that I have an account with, came they come back on me and try and close MY accounts. As I stated earlier. at one time I was listed as a AU on her account, but have not been on the account for sometime.
Can and would the cc be this underhanded?

 

[bigun]

They'll leave you alone. Chargeoffs due to health reasons are something every creditor experiences. As long as you pay your bills, they won't close your acounts.

 

[CaliCat]

Great advice in my opinion and it's good to see the humanitarian aspect in a situation like this. I wholeheartedly agree and if it were a family member of mine I'd say the same thing. Let her live the rest of her life with whatever peace she can afford at this point. She doesn't need to have good credit at this stage of her life.

My mother is a geriatrics nurse in an eldery home. She said that sometimes families give creditors their own address to divert the collections letters from reaching the loved one there and causing stress. Let's not forget that these people are from a time when paying what was owed was never in question. You'd live on the streets if you had to rather than "shame" yourself by not paying.

Baldy- I'm not sure if I would try to explain her situation to the cc company. They care only about where their payments will come from. They aren't going to simply accept that they aren't going to be paid. Your contacting them gives them a good reference point when they're ready to sic the collection dogs on her. Just my opinion.

Your opinion is correct. These bleedling hearts will harass the elderly hoping to get the families to pay the bills so the older relative can live the rest of his or her life in peace. I was disabled after an accident involving a drunk driver, and my own creditors try to get me to borrow money from my family or friends or even my landlord. What would stop them from doing that to your mom? Then she'd feel nothing by shame and worry, losing yet another part of her independence. Even tell her that they were paid or something, so she feels better in her heart and feels some dignity at being "debt free."

Divert the collections letters and calls, and let her live her remaining years in as much peace as she can. Visit often, daily, and call more than that. She needs you.

The creditors can do nothing to her, or to you.