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NY ~ Help...Advice needed ASAP

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Junior Member
What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? NY
I have a brother who is 44. I'm 42. He's been living away for quite awhile, but comes home to visit. Every visit is wrought with drama. He is the type of person who blames his childhood for what goes wrong with him today. Up to now, he's been more of a nuisance than anything else. He's just one of THOSE relatives.

Today, my mom calls me very upset. Turns out bro has been calling her demanding she send him money. She doesn't have a lot of it, but he's made her feel guilty for his childhood, so rather than tell him to grow up, she's tries to appease him. I've told her in the past that she needs to cut the apron strings. He's an adult...it's time that he takes charge of his life. Well, that goes in one ear and out the other. Next time he calls, it's the same thing all over again. So, she's all upset. He's now planning on moving back here. To her house. I don't know what all he said to her, but she told me this time she is scared, like she needs protection. So I go to her house. I figured it's the same ole thing, different day.

He calls while I'm there. She didn't want to answer the phone, but does. She told him all she can send right now is $20, but doesn't know how. It's Saturday...banks are closed. I'm sitting an arm's length from her and I can hear him screaming at her...F this F that. She's trying hard not to cry. So I take the phone from her and tell him to stop talking to his mom like that. He asked who the F is this? I say who do you think? It's your sister. He calms right down (for the minute) and says I need to talk to her. Put her back on the phone. I said no, not if you're going to speak to her like that. Next thing I know he's screaming at me, telling me I'll be seeing him in a couple of days. I'm like...ok? So? So what? He says I'll be sorry. I said yeah? Like I'm scared of you? He said You better be. Finally he hung up after a few more words like that. I tried to remain calm in front of Mom, but inside I was shaking.

Anyways...sorry for the long ramble. My ? is this...is this enough to get a restraining order against him, or is it just a waste of my time. He never really came out and said he'd hurt me or anything...just implied it. I have 2 young children at home. I'm a single mom. I'm convinced he has some sort of mental or chemical imbalance. I'm trying to talk her in going to the police with me, but don't know if she will. He has some sort of hold on her. So...WWYD?


Senior Member
She enables and condons the behavior and it will continue until SHE shows it is no longer acceptable to her. Try and get the restraining order and see what happens.

I suspect when the gravy train runs dry (she refuses him any further funds) his intrest will not even be there. The threats are to get his way.

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