Obilgee - custodial Parent of adult child wants to forgive arrears - How to?

[Hawaii96778]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Minnesota

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Minnesota

Hello,

Does anyone know how a custodial parent arranges to have their portion of arrears forgiven? This is an older case for a child that was adopted by her step father about 20 years ago. We get along GREAT with the Mom and the adult child.

The custodial parent did not even realize that she had arrears owed to her as she has not heard from the state since the adoption took place and she moved to a new location.

We on the other hand get statements every month that does say what amount is to her and what amount is owed to the state. Which the custodial Mom was not even aware of until I just told her that we have been getting them for years.

She would like to drop her part of the support arreages which is about $5,000.00 and could care less if she gets it. Can the state FORCE her to keep her part of the case open? I would not think so - we know the amount owed to the state cannot be forgiven which is in the amount of $3,000.00 and that is OK. We have offered to pay the custodial mom her portion and she does not want it as she is better off financially then we are. WE even offered to give the amount owed to the Mom to the child and her family and they said they also are better off then we are finacially so they do not want it either.

She has never gotten a statement so how would she go about getting her part of the case closed? Should we give her the case number off of our statements and have her call them or does it need to be in writing? Are we suppose to contact them - not sure how to go about this.

Just wondering if someone has already went through this process and what should we expect?

 

[I'mTheFather]

How about paying it, then letting her gift it back to you?

 

[Hawaii96778]

How about paying it, then letting her gift it back to you?

I have been in contact with the child support office (well someone I know that works there) and they said just to have her write a letter saying that she wishes to forgive that part of the arrears have it noterized and its done. They said people do it all the time. Mom is fine with it she will be writing the letter sometime this week.

 

[I'mTheFather]

Okey dokey then.

 

[Proserpina]

Mom probably needs to keep her eye on this (or, indeed, Dad). I can only imagine the shock when Dad and Mom disagree about something (yes, even when the children are adults) and lo and behold...Dad still owes because the proper paperwork was never submitted.

I would think that there's a wee bit of a problem given that Joe Neighbour could write a letter claiming to be Mom.

 

[Hawaii96778]

Mom probably needs to keep her eye on this (or, indeed, Dad). I can only imagine the shock when Dad and Mom disagree about something (yes, even when the children are adults) and lo and behold...Dad still owes because the proper paperwork was never submitted.

I would think that there's a wee bit of a problem given that Joe Neighbour could write a letter claiming to be Mom.

I think that is probally why it has to be notorized so things like "joe Neighbor" could not happen. This is all a amicable agreement no hash feelings between any parties involved. The person I spoke with has been a child support case worker for 25 years so I would think what she said was how to go about doing it wouldmore then likely be the inital step.

She said just make sure the current address (contact info for Mom) is on the letter incase they want to contact further but she said 9 times out of 10 they do not especially for such a small amount.

 

[Proserpina]

I think that is probally why it has to be notorized so things like "joe Neighbor" could not happen. This is all a amicable agreement no hash feelings between any parties involved. The person I spoke with has been a child support case worker for 25 years so I would think what she said was how to go about doing it wouldmore then likely be the inital step.

She said just make sure the current address (contact info for Mom) is on the letter incase they want to contact further but she said 9 times out of 10 they do not especially for such a small amount.

Fabulous!

Our work then, is done.

 

[BL]

No hash please ... I was once blonde lebonese. LOL

no hash feelings between any parties involved

 

[stealth2]

So.... You apparently knew what to do before posting?

 

[Hawaii96778]

So.... You apparently knew what to do before posting?

No I asked the person who works at child support AFTER I posted this - otherwise I would not have posted this as that would make no sense to do.

 

[stealth2]

No I asked the person who works at child support AFTER I posted this - otherwise I would not have posted this as that would make no sense to do.

I'm sorry, but it still makes no sense. You posted, and w/in moments after decided to call your friend? (note the times between your first post and the one where you told us what your friend said. An hour, at night. We call that the OG Effect here.

 

[Hawaii96778]

I'm sorry, but it still makes no sense. You posted, and w/in moments after decided to call your friend? (note the times between your first post and the one where you told us what your friend said. An hour, at night. We call that the OG Effect here.

I will explain to you - I posted and then I remembered that I knew someone( a friend yes not a close friend and we have not spoken for a about a year. Who had worked at child support a few years back and maybe I should contact her, which I did. I did not think of her right away as she has been retired for some years now. If I contacted her in the evening and she happened to be home for my call.

I left the post up to see if anyone on this board may know of another route to go or if maybe the procedure has changed since she retired.

It's not a big mystery - we can delete this whole post if it bothers you, but maybe it could help someone else who is wondering how to do the same.


i can delete the post if you like, really makes no difference to me one way or the other.