objection to mediators recommenation filed...

[daddenied]

Hello everyone. It's DDs GF. The previous thread (coach violating rights) was locked. The attorney filed DDs objection to the mediator's recommendation on Thursday and served ex. I don't have it in front of me, but this is what it basically asks to change:

1. Sole physical custody to mother back to joint physical custody.
2. Visitations to be as follows:

Upon signing of the order DD to visit with boys supervised the 2nd Sat. of each month for 6 months from 10a-4pm at a court appointed agency in Fresno. DD to pay expenses. After that 6 months of unsupervised visits for DD in Fresno-he would get them 2nd and 4th Sat. of each month from 10a-4pm. After that DD would have them 1st, 3rd and 5th when applicable Saturdays of each month in LA where he resides Fri-Sun 6pm-6pm-exchange spot 1/2 way in Bakersfield.

Counseling for the 2 younger boys okay, but mom to sign release for the court ordered therapist (the one the ex stopped the visits after the 2 assessment sessions) to speak to the new counselor.

DD is pleased with the objection the attorney wrote up, but just noticed that he did not object to sole legal custody and tomorrow he will be calling the attorney to ask if it is too late to add that in. He is thinking of even asking that the mediator be changed due to possible bias. Is this even possible? If I have time this week I will try to post the exact wording of the objection if any of you have questions. I hope I haven't confused you.

Oh, by the way, contempt hearing is Mar. 21st. Will fill you in later in the week.

Thanks again for everything.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Hello everyone. It's DDs GF. The previous thread (coach violating rights) was locked. The attorney filed DDs objection to the mediator's recommendation on Thursday and served ex. I don't have it in front of me, but this is what it basically asks to change:

1. Sole physical custody to mother back to joint physical custody.
2. Visitations to be as follows:

Upon signing of the order DD to visit with boys supervised the 2nd Sat. of each month for 6 months from 10a-4pm at a court appointed agency in Fresno. DD to pay expenses. After that 6 months of unsupervised visits for DD in Fresno-he would get them 2nd and 4th Sat. of each month from 10a-4pm. After that DD would have them 1st, 3rd and 5th when applicable Saturdays of each month in LA where he resides Fri-Sun 6pm-6pm-exchange spot 1/2 way in Bakersfield.

Counseling for the 2 younger boys okay, but mom to sign release for the court ordered therapist (the one the ex stopped the visits after the 2 assessment sessions) to speak to the new counselor.

DD is pleased with the objection the attorney wrote up, but just noticed that he did not object to sole legal custody and tomorrow he will be calling the attorney to ask if it is too late to add that in. He is thinking of even asking that the mediator be changed due to possible bias. Is this even possible? If I have time this week I will try to post the exact wording of the objection if any of you have questions. I hope I haven't confused you.

Oh, by the way, contempt hearing is Mar. 21st. Will fill you in later in the week.

Thanks again for everything.

Most definately it is not too late to make amendments, but This all has to work together with the contempt filings (sanctions) or they will be moot, request for a new mediator due to bias and totally dismissing the mediator's report due to bias. Therefore these consessions may not be appropriate. I would think that asking for the court to reinstate the visitation and shared custody that existed prior to mom's contempt, no supervised visitation for dad. With mom providing the transportation since she created the distance and pay all court costs, that will give her incentive to follow the court's orders in addition to the cost of the contempt. If there is to be counseling, mom pay the cost and the court appoint the counselor or ask for a GAL to be appointed. If there is to be supervised visitaiton it be done in Long Beach at mom's expense. Mom to take parenting classes alrready discussed and also anger management course (52 weeks) Dad to have 3 weekends a month and the entire summer and other school holidays tfn. Dad may want to file for custody due to mom's interference with visitation. The objection as presented basically gives mom everything she wants and makes the children think their dad doesn't want them because that is what she is telling them.

 

[daddenied]

Just worried...

Most definately it is not too late to make amendments, but This all has to work together with the contempt filings (sanctions) or they will be moot, request for a new mediator due to bias and totally dismissing the mediator's report due to bias. Therefore these consessions may not be appropriate. I would think that asking for the court to reinstate the visitation and shared custody that existed prior to mom's contempt, no supervised visitation for dad. With mom providing the transportation since she created the distance and pay all court costs, that will give her incentive to follow the court's orders in addition to the cost of the contempt. If there is to be counseling, mom pay the cost and the court appoint the counselor or ask for a GAL to be appointed. If there is to be supervised visitaiton it be done in Long Beach at mom's expense. Mom to take parenting classes alrready discussed and also anger management course (52 weeks) Dad to have 3 weekends a month and the entire summer and other school holidays tfn. Dad may want to file for custody due to mom's interference with visitation. The objection as presented basically gives mom everything she wants and makes the children think their dad doesn't want them because that is what she is telling them.

Hi Miss Met. It's DDs GF on a break from class. I agree with you 100%. The problem is DD is so worried that he feels he wants to simply see his kids and if they have him see them in supervised settings, than so be it. I am all the way EVERYTHING YOU SAY. I think she should be in Anger Management for the 52 weeks and even have that evaluation done you've advised us about. I think she should bring boys to him in LB especially since we've both been wiped out financially paying for all the times he went up court ordered and paid for sessions every Sat they were scheduled. (Side note-someone posted a message saying he spent thousands on an atty to fight and win and suggested we make sacrifices or cut back, sell a car, don't take vacations, etc...and we have cut back on EVERYTHING! We literally live by the grace of God, in overdraft and over the limit credit cards. ). Anyway, the FLF office in Fresno told DD and I that the judge will NOT rule for mom to bring kids to LB due to hardship on her and children and as much as mom has been the wicked person here, no judge in Fresno they told us would grant that request. We were also told this by the new atty. HE explained one of the reasons being the judge will lean heavily on mediators recommendation. He is not sure how it will all work out after the contempt hearing, but he thought it was wise to ask for this visitation plan due to the fact that the last order ordered DD to be in therapeutic supervised visitation with the boys. Of course, mom messed that up. He also said the same thing FLF office said that mom will not be held responsible to pay for time DD spends with children. I myself am baffled that they can do this to DD-order him to pay for therapeutic visits-mom shows up twice for assessment than never again, and then the recommendation is against dad. The new atty said he wants to show the courts that dad wants to and has always wanted to be a part of the childrens life. HE wants to show mom's alienation, her refusal to follow the last order and basically just get DD to be able to see the kids NOW and not after a year per the mediators recommendation. DD doesn't even want to fight any more. He is so depressed and hurt by all of this that I know it is only with his last effort and might that he is continuing this. Again, I completely agree with you. After classes I will see DD for a couple of hours before work and I want to run this by him again. My question is...how do we tactfully suggest this all to the new atty without making him feel that he is not doing his job well? Tomorrow we want to call him and ask him to request the changes we mentioned earlier (joint legal custody and change of mediator), but want to run all of this by him. Would he ask for these in this hearing or the contempt hearing. DD told me last night he wants her to sit in jail if at all possible for a night or 2, get community service, pay his fees and for them to give his kids to him after the contempt case, but the atty, the FLF office and even I feel that is not realistic. Fresnos court system really stinks it seems.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Too bad he paid the fees that she didn't pay to move the venue to Fresno, he should have left it in Riverside, check with the attorney about moving jurisdiciton back to reiverside or at LB due to her contempt. Reread my post about the local rules and how to appeal the mediator for bias. https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?p=1188928

The Fresno DA office facilitated past visitation surely the courts should enforce their orders, the attorney needs to enforce the past orders, I think DD should file for custody based on custodial interference. Here are links to 3 posts with case law. https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?p=634482 https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?p=559207 https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?p=36462

 

[daddenied]

Too bad he paid the fees that she didn't pay to move the venue to Fresno, he should have left it in Riverside, check with the attorney about moving jurisdiciton back to reiverside or at LB due to her contempt. Reread my post about the local rules and how to appeal the mediator for bias. https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?p=1188928

The Fresno DA office facilitated past visitation surely the courts should enforce their orders, the attorney needs to enforce the past orders, I think DD should file for custody based on custodial interference. Here are links to 3 posts with case law. https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?p=634482 https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?p=559207 https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?p=36462

If I remember right, when we paid the balance of the change of venue fees in Fresno, it was because if we didn't pay it according to Riverside it would just be in limbo and never get heard in Fresno. We asked if it would force it back to Riverside and they told us no. In fact, the last time DD stood in front of a judge in Riverside she threw her hands in the air and told him there was nothing she could do, and it was no longer in their jurisdiction regardless of mother not paying entire fee. Everyone we spoke to directed us right back to Fresno. We asked about bringing it back to Riverside County where it first started or even changing it to LA County where we live, but was told the judge would not grant it because the kids live in Fresno County regardless of mother's actions. I'll reread your post about the mediator's bias tomorrow. I'll talk to DD later tonight. Thanks!

 

[daddenied]

Hi Miss Met. I spoke with DD last night and he is frustrated and will be talking to his attorney today or tomorrow. He says we will mention all the points you made and see what his attorney says, but still feels like he does not want to make things worse, saying the atty has come in at this end and is cleaning up this whole mess. I'll let you know what the atty says. Thanks!

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Any progress? I know court is not for a couple of weeks.

 

[daddenied]

Contempt hearing on 21st-please pray for DD

Any progress? I know court is not for a couple of weeks.

Hi Miss Met. It's DD's GF. The contempt hearing is on Tues. Mar. 21st. We will be in Fresno the day before. DD's attorney called yesterday and said he did not want DD to have his hopes up, and not to expect too much there. He stated that their courts frown on contempt cases against custodial moms (whatever that means???) and that we need to do this to show her history of contempt. He stated it may not do anything to her at all, but to be patient. He also said that a public defender will be assigned to his ex since she does not have an attorney and this is really criminal in nature. DD said he is okay with all of this, because he doesn't want to be disappointed and feels that this attorney has been honest from the get go.

Okay, now for the objection. The attorney filed it on Feb. 2nd and according to the court case information page it states it was sent to judge for review...we have no court date as of yet. We are told that 2 things can happen from it...the judge who is reviewing could simply grant what the attorney requested in his objection, which was:

1. Joint physical custody again (mediator recommended full to his ex)

2. Supervised visits one Sat. a month for 6 hours in Fresno starting as soon as order signed.

3. After that, 1 Sat a month for the next 6 months unsupervised in Fresno again for 6 hours.

4. Then, after that 1st year, children visit with DD in Long Beach Fri-Sun the 1st, 3rd and 5th if applicable weekends each month.

5. He also stated that the mediator's recommendation of the 2 younger sons to undergo psychotherapy/counseling stand, but the counselors must get records from DD's therapist, the one his ex refused to bring kids back to and that the ex sign all necessary release forms.

We are told that either the judge will just grant that with info he has in front of him or set a date and hear it through trial.

DD's attorney said that the reason the judge will not address his ex's mental state (crazy and vindictive) is because it is not her that the mediator is concerned with. It is DD. He states that asking the judge at this point and time to have his ex undergo anger management, counseling, etc...will cost thousands of dollars in evaluation fees, etc...he advised DD against that at this time. DD agreed and told me to be patient. I get frustrated sometimes, but we will see.

He has not seen the boys less in mediation twice last year since Jan. 2005. The children do not call in response to his messages left, nor do they call after receiving bday gifts and holiday gifts. He is hurt...I am hurt, but what can we do? Wish us luck on the 21st. We were so unrealistically hoping the first female judge who ordered his ex to have the boys at every counseling session and reprimanded her for her behaviors of keeping them away from DD would be the judge who is hearing the contempt case, but the attorney said she is judge pro tem in Family Law and this is a separate matter. Oh well. We'll update you again.

 

[daddenied]

Any progress? I know court is not for a couple of weeks.

Hello all. It's DD. Sorry for not getting on line sooner. I've been swamped. My contempt hearing is in less than 2 weeks. I do have an attorney, but still worry that it will all be for nothing. My attorney said in Fresno county I should not really expect anything but the judge scolding my ex and then on to our visitation hearing which still hasn't been set. Any thoughts before the hearing?...

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Perhaps we will hear some news today?

 

[daddenied]

Case continued to visitation hearing....

Perhaps we will hear some news today?

Hi Miss Met. It's DD's GF. We were in court yesterday morning. A public defender was assigned to his ex and DD's attorney and the public defender who DD's attorney knew very well spoke outside in private then DD's atty came in and told us that his ex was pleading not guilty and because of that, the public defender will ask that due to both cases (the visitation and this one) going hand in hand, he would ask that this be continued so that all issues can be heard together. DD's attorney explained to the judge that both attornies were in agreement because the contempt acts have everything to do with DD not seeing his children per the orders from the visitation hearings. IT was quick and that was it. The judge agreed and said she would call the calendar and see if she could get both issues heard on Apr. 25th. The judge also explained that it could be later, but she will do all she can to get it on Apr. 25th or soon after that. We were happy, yet still a bit nervous about it. We always are. We do feel good about this attorney though. The issues at the next hearing are:

1. The contempt motion from yesterday regarding all the times she refused to bring the children to court ordered therapy visits with DD.

2. The mediators last recommendation asking the courts to pretty much strip DD of all of his rights, giving sole custody, legal and physical to his ex, and stating his 2 older sons 14 and 15 right now don't have to see DD any time. And, his two younger sons would be required counseling for a year, individually then after that therapeutic supervised visits for DD and the 2 younger sons who will at that time be 12 and 14 1/2 and after those visits, which can go 1 year or more, only then will they decide if DD is fit for unsupervised visits. It's unbelievable what's been done.

So those are basically the issues. And, in case we didn't post it or you all forgot, DD's attorney filed an objection asking that joint physical custody remain for DD and his ex, that immediately upon signing of the order DD gets supervised visits in Fresno on the 2nd Sat of each month for 6 hours for 6 months, then the following 6 months, unsupervised visits also in Fresno on the 2nd Sat of each month, then immediately following, he get them the 1st, 3rd and when applicable 5th weekends from Friday to Sunday in Long Beach where we live. That was his proposition, and the objection asked to strike the mediators request that the older sons don't ever have to see DD, and that the younger sons can have counseling per his ex's request, but that DD's counselor who saw the boys twice be able to send records over to the new therapist and that DD be updated on their progress.

DD's attorney states the judge may not order his ex to anger management or single/divorced parents counseling, but he saw DD's ex for the first time yesterday and said she emanates anger-which she really does, whether she is smiling or not, it's her demeanor.

Anyhow, we'll keep you updated. Thank you again for all of your help and concern.

 

[daddenied]

Hello everyone. It's DD's GF. We found out today that on Apr. 25th there will be a settlement conference. what is that? The contempt hearing judge continued the case to apr. 25th to be heard at the same time of DD's objection to the mediator's recommendation. We haven't yet spoken to his attorney yet, but we were curious what this means. The notes on the case notes says that his ex pleads not guilty but no other info.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Hello everyone. It's DD's GF. We found out today that on Apr. 25th there will be a settlement conference. what is that? The contempt hearing judge continued the case to apr. 25th to be heard at the same time of DD's objection to the mediator's recommendation. We haven't yet spoken to his attorney yet, but we were curious what this means. The notes on the case notes says that his ex pleads not guilty but no other info.

Of course she is going to plead "NG" she has nothing to lose and a PD, so she is not even paying attorney's fees. It will be difficult to defend considering the DA had to intercede to facilitate visitation and there is nothing to document many of her claims.

The settlement conference gives an opportunity to come to an agreement before the court date, so DD's attorney and ex/atty can negotiate prior to that date, so there might be an opportunity to get somehting better that what is in the proposed settlement, which is a far cry from what he had prior to ex removing the children from their home in S CA and the begining of the contemptuous actions in lieu of pursuing the contempt charges. THe conference gives another opportunity in court. Has she responded at all to the contempt charges? It would be wise to read the Fresno curt rules about challenging the Mediator for Bias, if the objection doesn't work unless that is what the attorney is doing.

Quite frankly I think that DD should go for what he had initially, split custody and settle for standard visitation with a schedule, not "reasonable visitation" and requirements for ex to have anger management and parenting classes/counseling and dad have all school vacations and 10 weeks in summer with mom providing the transportation and paying all the cost of court and counseling. What is in the proposed agreement essentially gives ex all the power and little for DD than to continue to pay child support and court costs and still not get visitation with his children, by the time future contempts are litigated the children will be angry adults believing that everything that doesn't go their way is the fault of their father.

If DD could petition for custody and move the children back to S CA they would have more opportunities for sports, IF they truely have talent and potential, otherwise the schools are better in LB than Fresno. AS stated in previous posts there are other options for court ordered evaluations and GAL to be appointed. There are many forms of abuse, what ex is doing is abuse.

 

[casa]

Of course she is going to plead "NG" she has nothing to lose and a PD, so she is not even paying attorney's fees. It will be difficult to defend considering the DA had to intercede to facilitate visitation and there is nothing to document many of her claims.

The settlement conference gives an opportunity to come to an agreement before the court date, so DD's attorney and ex/atty can negotiate prior to that date, so there might be an opportunity to get somehting better that what is in the proposed settlement, which is a far cry from what he had prior to ex removing the children from their home in S CA and the begining of the contemptuous actions in lieu of pursuing the contempt charges. THe conference gives another opportunity in court. Has she responded at all to the contempt charges? It would be wise to read the Fresno curt rules about challenging the Mediator for Bias, if the objection doesn't work unless that is what the attorney is doing.

Quite frankly I think that DD should go for what he had initially, split custody and settle for standard visitation with a schedule, not "reasonable visitation" and requirements for ex to have anger management and parenting classes/counseling and dad have all school vacations and 10 weeks in summer with mom providing the transportation and paying all the cost of court and counseling. What is in the proposed agreement essentially gives ex all the power and little for DD than to continue to pay child support and court costs and still not get visitation with his children, by the time future contempts are litigated the children will be angry adults believing that everything that doesn't go their way is the fault of their father.

If DD could petition for custody and move the children back to S CA they would have more opportunities for sports, IF they truely have talent and potential, otherwise the schools are better in LB than Fresno. AS stated in previous posts there are other options for court ordered evaluations and GAL to be appointed. There are many forms of abuse, what ex is doing is abuse.

I agree 100%. It's common to "ask for everything" and "settle for anything"....asking for what DD deserves is not unreasonable. IMO

 

[rmet4nzkx]

I agree 100%. It's common to "ask for everything" and "settle for anything"....asking for what DD deserves is not unreasonable. IMO

But in this case, they are not asking for everything, they are asking for virtually nothing, osmehting is not right.