odd but good situation question

[penny4u]

What is the name of your state? PA (I'm in OH but this is for my sister)

My sister and brother in law have been seperated for over a year and a half. He bought a house in the same development and they have split their two kids time evenly. One week with mom one with dad. Same bus stop, they really are good friends, and use eachother as "babysitters" on their time, etc.

They are now going to file for divorce, and want to keep the same arrangment, without contest on either part. My question is; one of them will still have to have residental custody and the other paying child support even though its split evenly right? Just curious.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

What is the name of your state? PA (I'm in OH but this is for my sister)

My sister and brother in law have been seperated for over a year and a half. He bought a house in the same development and they have split their two kids time evenly. One week with mom one with dad. Same bus stop, they really are good friends, and use eachother as "babysitters" on their time, etc.

They are now going to file for divorce, and want to keep the same arrangment, without contest on either part. My question is; one of them will still have to have residental custody and the other paying child support even though its split evenly right? Just curious.

Yep, but there is no requirement that it can't be $1

 

[penny4u]

Gotcha...thanks.

 

[tigger22472]

I hate to argue with BB on this one but my husband's 50/50 case there is no support ordered, nor is there a primary custodian. It is society who wants a primary custodial parent. If I were them I would get a free consult from an attorney. If they can truly get along then not having a primary won't matter, basically whomever has physical custody during a particular week would be considered the CP at that time if there needed to be one.

 

[Zephyr]

In my sitch- neither parent is listed as custodial, DD spends week on week off, no child support odered....

 

[penny4u]

Thanks to those that posted.

So my sister and brother in law met with an attorney on Friday. He told them that one of them would have to be primary/residental, but that support didn't need to be awarded to either as long as their court papers clearly outlined their agreement. So both of them really don't care who is the residental parent. My question is; is there any advantages or disadvantages to being the residental parent in a situation like this? Or is it just a formality?

 

[tigger22472]

Thanks to those that posted.

So my sister and brother in law met with an attorney on Friday. He told them that one of them would have to be primary/residental, but that support didn't need to be awarded to either as long as their court papers clearly outlined their agreement. So both of them really don't care who is the residental parent. My question is; is there any advantages or disadvantages to being the residental parent in a situation like this? Or is it just a formality?

Not in a legal sense but once again it comes down to society. If it were me I would advise them to seek another consult with an attorney. It's the schools and other important places that put the emphasis on the 'primary' parent. For example, there was not a primary in my husband's but the fact that his daughter went to the school in mom's district did cause a few issues in which he had to go to the school and let them have it a few times (as well as I did once also). One year (just after my husband's accident) I took SD to school and wanted to ensure they had received the free lunch application that I had filed for. The lady was EXTREMELY crappy with me and said "PXXXXX, the PRIMARY parent needs to file for that, not you." I was more than perturbed. I let her know there was not a primary parent and that I was only ensuring they were going to feed her and if not I would bring something. There was a time that SD got sick at school and they kept calling mom's home and didn't get an answer. they let her stay in the nurses office all day. Not only was it husband's time... he/we were home all day and never received a call until school was out and of course they wanted to go home but wouldn't release her because she'd been ill. Husband even had the school superintendent state to him "you need to fix that" when he stated there wasn't a primary.

 

[penny4u]

Thanks Tigger,

I can see where the disadvantages come in given your experiences. If for example if they had the same problem with the school, couldn't the school know to call the other parent or another emergency contact as should be on their paperwork?

But since one has to be named primary, does it really matter who in a situation like this? Meaning, does the residential parent get "privileges" that the non residential parent doesn't?

 

[tigger22472]

Thanks Tigger,

I can see where the disadvantages come in given your experiences. If for example if they had the same problem with the school, couldn't the school know to call the other parent or another emergency contact as should be on their paperwork?

But since one has to be named primary, does it really matter who in a situation like this? Meaning, does the residential parent get "privileges" that the non residential parent doesn't?

Both parents were/are on the paperwork... and the school knew they had 50/50... everything was right there but because mom lived in the district they would only call her. The teachers weren't/aren't as big of a deal but the administrator are. As long as one is ready to defend their position and stand their ground that they expect to be contact in situations as such then no... but I would fight against having to have a primary.

 

[penny4u]

I'll tell them to talk to another attorney. I don't know if they will though. They are great friends who are adamant on everything being even. My family doesn't divorce well...lol. My father, step mom, and little sis come to all holidays at my moms sisters house, with my mom there. My family is very odd that way. Same with Aunts and Uncles who have divorced. I was the only one with problems. of course I was never married to that idiot

From what the attorney said though one has to be primary.

 

[ezmarelda]

I'll tell them to talk to another attorney. I don't know if they will though. They are great friends who are adamant on everything being even. My family doesn't divorce well...lol. My father, step mom, and little sis come to all holidays at my moms sisters house, with my mom there. My family is very odd that way. Same with Aunts and Uncles who have divorced. I was the only one with problems. of course I was never married to that idiot

From what the attorney said though one has to be primary.

I would say your family divorces VERY well

 

[Bali Hai]

I would say your family divorces VERY well

Who the hell cares? I would say that the issue here is "who is going to pay the most".

Sorry eme, but, that's what it boils down to.

I hate to blast child issues on this forum, but, until these jackasses with their egghead attorney's want to take a civil approach, that's is exactly what will happen.

 

[LdiJ]

Who the hell cares? I would say that the issue here is "who is going to pay the most".

Sorry eme, but, that's what it boils down to.

I hate to blast child issues on this forum, but, until these jackasses with their egghead attorney's want to take a civil approach, that's is exactly what will happen.

It sounds like these parents are taking an extremely "civil" approach, so I don't know where in the world you are coming from on this thread.

 

[penny4u]

Who the hell cares? I would say that the issue here is "who is going to pay the most".

Sorry eme, but, that's what it boils down to.

I hate to blast child issues on this forum, but, until these jackasses with their egghead attorney's want to take a civil approach, that's is exactly what will happen.

STOP. Just Stop. I am so astounded by the stupidity of that.

eme...I knew what you were "saying"

 

[penny4u]

OK, just in need for more opinions.

I gave my sister Tigger's advice and told her to talk to another lawyer. She did go to see one in tow with the agreement that the original lawyer drew up. She also sent my brother in law to another seperate attorney too. She wanted everything to be "safe". The two other attorney's said that the agreement was fair. So now they are going to stay with their original attorney.

I'm trying to keep in mind that I'm jaded by my own situation, but some things seem odd to me so if anyone can straighten me up, I'd appreciate it.

My sister is going to be the residential parent, for purposes of having an addresses for the school, daycare, medical, etc. Their time is going to be the 50/50 that they agreed on, with the first right of refusal.

There is going to be no support awarded but they have to split day care costs.

question; kids are 10 and 2. So the oldest will be out of day care (before and after school) in the next two years, while the other has around another 10 years...if not babysat by the older child later. When daycare is done then there will be no money issue between the two of them right? So no support on either side??? Do they need to go back to court at that time, or let it die provided they are still working together?

Brother in law is to carry medical on the kids, with my sister paying 75% of uninsured costs. His job has amazing insurance, so this is minimal...if any.

Is it really this easy? Again, I'm jaded so I'm surprised how uncomplicated it is even with everyone in agreement. Thanks