I. I live in Ohio and I am the father of two children (C1 and C2) ages 8 and 4 respectively. Shared Parenting was finalized in June 2016 in Ohio between myself, who filed the original petition, and mom of C1/C2. At that time I lived in the same house I currently reside in and mom lived about 45 minutes away from me. The full drive wasn't awful and the transportation of getting the kids was easy. We agreed to meet half way between our respective homes so in about an hour I could leave and be back home with the kids, pretty nice. This was convenient to get to school conferences easily after work, stop in and see the kids a few days of the week and just having them that close.
II. As a standard SP agreement I submitted a Parenting Time Schedule that lists holidays, vacations, and general parenting time allocation. I get both children every weekend from Friday at 6pm to Sunday at 6pm. We left out bank holidays such as Memorial Day, Labor Day and a few others but mom has been pretty flexible letting me have the kids an extra night if I can get the time off work. Usually I cannot but before things started getting rocky, that option was there.
III. Along with the initial petition I was required to complete a Shared Parenting Agreement that lists the general rules and guidelines, school designation, tax return filing allocation, health insurance, and a multitude of additional guidelines. There is a specific section in this agreement that states a pretty standard rule "...each parent, regardless of where a child is residing at a particular point in time, is considered the "residential parent" or "residential parent and legal custodian" of each child." Well this is where things start getting a bit confusing on moms end. After we left court and agreed to everything judge sent a final decree that gave some notes he made about the case/plan and attached the Parenting Time Schedule I mentioned in paragraph II. The Shared Parenting Agreement that I mention in this paragraph was not attached to that final decree. Due to that mom is convinced that it is not a part of the shared parenting rules, or said another way..she believes she is the legal custodian of the children and she can keep them any weekend she wants.
IV. In January 2017 mom moved with the kids from 45 minutes away to about 100 minutes away, so nearly an hour further. She filed an intent to move 3 days before we was moving. I told her I did not agree with the move but she did it anyway. I didn't receive the intent to move until she had already moved. Granted I knew she was moving but she definitely went about that the wrong way. I mistakenly did not request a hearing because I had not seen an attorney and I was told by someone on a different advice site that my best bet was to let her move because a judge would not force her to move back and change C1 school again and that the plan would be modified and I would walk out with less time than when I went in. I did nothing and she moved with the kids. At the time the drive wasn't awful but now its getting bad. As I said, they live nearly 2 hours away. I can't just go see them after work. If I want to see a 5 or 6pm musical or play I have to plan days in advance and leave work around 3 to get there in time. Same with sports. She never has to make the drive here. On top of all that now our meeting point is an hour drive for me. Why should I have to drive further for something I didn't approve of?
V. So here we are. Its summer time and the kids are in sports. C2 (4 yo) who loves baseball wanted to play tball so I signed him up on Saturdays to play with me. We practice 30 minutes before game time, play a game and thats it. No other meeting during the week, only Saturdays which is a part of my parenting time set forth in Parenting Time Schedule from paragraph II. Mom did not like this so she signed him up for tball too, also on Saturdays. She believes that since she did not receive a copy of the document I mention in paragraph III that it is not in place and she has the right to sign the kids up for sports even if their games are on weekends. This past Saturday 4/21/2018 was the first game he had at her residence and the second game we were supposed to have here. She would not allow the kids to come over to my house Friday night because I told her I was not bringing him to his game that morning because we had a game here, not to mention it was a near 2 hour drive and we would have to leave at 7am. I showed up at our usual meeting place Friday, she said she wasn't bringing them. I even drove all the way to her house (we usually meet half way so thats an extra 45 minutes) and she had her husbands mother take the kids out to eat so they weren't there when I got there. Needless to say I didn't get the kids, I was harassed by her husband and told to leave. I called the local police station and filed a report just to have it on record that I was denied my parenting time and I tried all I could to enforce my parenting time. I am the head coach of aforementioned tball team here where I live. I want to be the coach of my son and have the bond that fathers have with their son. We have games every Saturday morning for the next 8 weeks. Well mom told me he also has games every Saturday there for the next 8 weeks and since I refuse to bring him to her town to play she is going to keep them both from me every Friday until tball is over.
Aside from the fact that I think she's in contempt, there are a few other problems here. Since our game times overlap, not only and I missing out on coaching him but I am still the coach so I can't drive there to see him play making it look like Im just absent and not willing to go see him. C1 (8 yo) doesn't have games but she's keeping her too just so they're both together. The kids absolutely adore me, not even kidding. They hate having to leave my house and every time were driving to meet mom on Sundays, they beg to stay with me longer. When I talk to them on the phone, first thing they ask is how many days until they come over. Its sad. C2 wants me to be his coach but he's basically being forced to play there.
If you're still reading, thank you. I feel like iv left a bunch out and I know I could type a ton more but Ill get to my questions.
1. Just because the document listed in paragraph III was not sent with the final decree, does it still hold true and is it legally in place? I feel like its the foundation of shared parenting and the rules in there is what I was looking to establish from the beginning. All he sent was the parenting time schedule so mom thinks that that is it and she's the legal custodian and makes the decisions still. She also claims that I lied about claiming them on taxes this year because its in the shared parenting agreement but not in the time schedule so according to her I lied and can get in trouble for it.
2. Can she legally sign the kids up for sports/extracurricular activities on the weekends where they attend school and require me to drive them there to participate? She is designated as residential parenting for school purposes but I feel like signing them up for sports and taking my weekends away is not okay. C1 dances and cheers during the week and I have not missed one recital. In fact, I drive almost 4 hour round trip to watch a 20 minute show almost 2-3 /month. Its worth it but inconvenient. If he continued to play tball here the only one that would be inconvenienced would be mom. If he plays there and I am required to drive him, we would have to leave 2 hours before game time..watch game and then make the 2 hour drive home practically taking up our whole Saturday. Its not okay in my eyes. The packet from P III also says she has to consult with me before signing them up for anything so technically if I don't agree with it she legally can't sign them up and certainly not force them to stay and take my time away.
3. If she continues to not allow the kids to come over on Fridays just so C2 can attend a tball game Saturday morning, is she in contempt? She plans on doing this every Friday for the next 8 weeks. Ill continue to file police reports to build up dirt on her if I have to take this to court. I also have text messages and recorded conversations of being verbally harassed from her and her husband. Can those be used against her? She won't deny anything she said.
4. How long should I wait before I get an attorney and attempt to get the shared parenting reversed? I want to have the kids live with me for school purposes and have her get them every other weekend. She is emotionally hurting the kids. Tells them lies, does not allow them to come to their dads house (me), C1 was held back from school and her school attendance is awful. I think their best interest is living with my and my wife.
I have said a lot. I would appreciate any and all advice. I can give more clarity if needed because Im sure I left out some details. Thanks in advance.
II. As a standard SP agreement I submitted a Parenting Time Schedule that lists holidays, vacations, and general parenting time allocation. I get both children every weekend from Friday at 6pm to Sunday at 6pm. We left out bank holidays such as Memorial Day, Labor Day and a few others but mom has been pretty flexible letting me have the kids an extra night if I can get the time off work. Usually I cannot but before things started getting rocky, that option was there.
III. Along with the initial petition I was required to complete a Shared Parenting Agreement that lists the general rules and guidelines, school designation, tax return filing allocation, health insurance, and a multitude of additional guidelines. There is a specific section in this agreement that states a pretty standard rule "...each parent, regardless of where a child is residing at a particular point in time, is considered the "residential parent" or "residential parent and legal custodian" of each child." Well this is where things start getting a bit confusing on moms end. After we left court and agreed to everything judge sent a final decree that gave some notes he made about the case/plan and attached the Parenting Time Schedule I mentioned in paragraph II. The Shared Parenting Agreement that I mention in this paragraph was not attached to that final decree. Due to that mom is convinced that it is not a part of the shared parenting rules, or said another way..she believes she is the legal custodian of the children and she can keep them any weekend she wants.
IV. In January 2017 mom moved with the kids from 45 minutes away to about 100 minutes away, so nearly an hour further. She filed an intent to move 3 days before we was moving. I told her I did not agree with the move but she did it anyway. I didn't receive the intent to move until she had already moved. Granted I knew she was moving but she definitely went about that the wrong way. I mistakenly did not request a hearing because I had not seen an attorney and I was told by someone on a different advice site that my best bet was to let her move because a judge would not force her to move back and change C1 school again and that the plan would be modified and I would walk out with less time than when I went in. I did nothing and she moved with the kids. At the time the drive wasn't awful but now its getting bad. As I said, they live nearly 2 hours away. I can't just go see them after work. If I want to see a 5 or 6pm musical or play I have to plan days in advance and leave work around 3 to get there in time. Same with sports. She never has to make the drive here. On top of all that now our meeting point is an hour drive for me. Why should I have to drive further for something I didn't approve of?
V. So here we are. Its summer time and the kids are in sports. C2 (4 yo) who loves baseball wanted to play tball so I signed him up on Saturdays to play with me. We practice 30 minutes before game time, play a game and thats it. No other meeting during the week, only Saturdays which is a part of my parenting time set forth in Parenting Time Schedule from paragraph II. Mom did not like this so she signed him up for tball too, also on Saturdays. She believes that since she did not receive a copy of the document I mention in paragraph III that it is not in place and she has the right to sign the kids up for sports even if their games are on weekends. This past Saturday 4/21/2018 was the first game he had at her residence and the second game we were supposed to have here. She would not allow the kids to come over to my house Friday night because I told her I was not bringing him to his game that morning because we had a game here, not to mention it was a near 2 hour drive and we would have to leave at 7am. I showed up at our usual meeting place Friday, she said she wasn't bringing them. I even drove all the way to her house (we usually meet half way so thats an extra 45 minutes) and she had her husbands mother take the kids out to eat so they weren't there when I got there. Needless to say I didn't get the kids, I was harassed by her husband and told to leave. I called the local police station and filed a report just to have it on record that I was denied my parenting time and I tried all I could to enforce my parenting time. I am the head coach of aforementioned tball team here where I live. I want to be the coach of my son and have the bond that fathers have with their son. We have games every Saturday morning for the next 8 weeks. Well mom told me he also has games every Saturday there for the next 8 weeks and since I refuse to bring him to her town to play she is going to keep them both from me every Friday until tball is over.
Aside from the fact that I think she's in contempt, there are a few other problems here. Since our game times overlap, not only and I missing out on coaching him but I am still the coach so I can't drive there to see him play making it look like Im just absent and not willing to go see him. C1 (8 yo) doesn't have games but she's keeping her too just so they're both together. The kids absolutely adore me, not even kidding. They hate having to leave my house and every time were driving to meet mom on Sundays, they beg to stay with me longer. When I talk to them on the phone, first thing they ask is how many days until they come over. Its sad. C2 wants me to be his coach but he's basically being forced to play there.
If you're still reading, thank you. I feel like iv left a bunch out and I know I could type a ton more but Ill get to my questions.
1. Just because the document listed in paragraph III was not sent with the final decree, does it still hold true and is it legally in place? I feel like its the foundation of shared parenting and the rules in there is what I was looking to establish from the beginning. All he sent was the parenting time schedule so mom thinks that that is it and she's the legal custodian and makes the decisions still. She also claims that I lied about claiming them on taxes this year because its in the shared parenting agreement but not in the time schedule so according to her I lied and can get in trouble for it.
2. Can she legally sign the kids up for sports/extracurricular activities on the weekends where they attend school and require me to drive them there to participate? She is designated as residential parenting for school purposes but I feel like signing them up for sports and taking my weekends away is not okay. C1 dances and cheers during the week and I have not missed one recital. In fact, I drive almost 4 hour round trip to watch a 20 minute show almost 2-3 /month. Its worth it but inconvenient. If he continued to play tball here the only one that would be inconvenienced would be mom. If he plays there and I am required to drive him, we would have to leave 2 hours before game time..watch game and then make the 2 hour drive home practically taking up our whole Saturday. Its not okay in my eyes. The packet from P III also says she has to consult with me before signing them up for anything so technically if I don't agree with it she legally can't sign them up and certainly not force them to stay and take my time away.
3. If she continues to not allow the kids to come over on Fridays just so C2 can attend a tball game Saturday morning, is she in contempt? She plans on doing this every Friday for the next 8 weeks. Ill continue to file police reports to build up dirt on her if I have to take this to court. I also have text messages and recorded conversations of being verbally harassed from her and her husband. Can those be used against her? She won't deny anything she said.
4. How long should I wait before I get an attorney and attempt to get the shared parenting reversed? I want to have the kids live with me for school purposes and have her get them every other weekend. She is emotionally hurting the kids. Tells them lies, does not allow them to come to their dads house (me), C1 was held back from school and her school attendance is awful. I think their best interest is living with my and my wife.
I have said a lot. I would appreciate any and all advice. I can give more clarity if needed because Im sure I left out some details. Thanks in advance.
As you can see things have not gotten better and no legal action has been taken. 
