• FreeAdvice has a new Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, effective May 25, 2018.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our Terms of Service and use of cookies.

On again, off again...

Accident - Bankruptcy - Criminal Law / DUI - Business - Consumer - Employment - Family - Immigration - Real Estate - Tax - Traffic - Wills   Please click a topic or scroll down for more.


What is the name of your state? Missouri
I received a letter in the mail today where my ex requested mediation. I wasn't quite sure as to why bc he's been so against getting any "outsiders" involved. Anyway, I called him to talk about this and things went from bad to worse. He started accusing me of this and that.... He finally told me that he basically was walking out of her life and its all because of me. He said that he doesn't want to cramp my lifestyle anymore. I told him that he can still have a relationship with his daughter regardless of our relationship and his reply was "what for?" I am documenting everything that is said and done anymore. I have an appointment tomorrow morning with an attorney, but wanted to know if these statements and other things that I have documented can be used in court or not and what relevance they will have? I am receiving counseling from a domestic abuse counselor, have numerous police reports for trespassing, disturbing the peace, past orders of protection, etc.


Senior Member
Are you both in Missouri?

I would definitely document everything. If you are both in Missouri, you can record the calls.

You mentioned mediation, or you using mediation or will it be a full hearing in front of the judge?


Personally I was not able to use any of the notes I kept---IN COURT. I was allowed to submit a calendar of days that I had my son, compared to when his father had him---but that was about all.
We were trying to establish custody though, and that was submitted to show that I had my son more often than my ex. My EX did have to agree that it could be submitted as evidence, and he did have to testify that to the best of his knowledge the dates I was saying I had him were true.

I suppose it is up to you. i kept the "event" notes to help me remember more than anything... I brought these notes to my lawyer when it was time to go to court....and he used them for ?'ing my ex.

Think about it...it is he said, she said. You could write anything in those notes.


Senior Member
I thought it might be helpful for the mediator to hear the tapes.

Of course, I would think if a mediator heard the father basically using the child to try and force a relationship with the ex, that it would be helpful to her in her case.

Of course, when mediation doesn't work -- and it always seems that one parent will be unhappy with the decision -- it always goes in front of the judge.

I have successfully used tapes in a hearing before. We had to have the tapes transcribed and then we highlighted the sections that we wanted to bring to the attention of the court. Another idea, the calls that you want to have the judge to hear -- have the counter marked where each call is located on the tape. That will make it quick reference if the Judge wants to hear the actual call.

Oh yeah, the notes -- the one thing that the Judge told us was that it could be entered into evidence but he noted the objection to it due to hearsay evidence, and self gratefying (sp?) remarks - or self praise. But they admitted journals and diarys into evidence.


We both live in the same town. I didn't know it was legal to record phone conversations without the other person's knowledge. I thought you had to make the other person aware of the recording.


This sounds very familiar to me.

Except, my ex didn't make the statements about walking out of the kids lives until the day he dropped by the house with all the children's belongings saying he was over it all.

As far as notes go, keep them. I kept daily journals, because it was a daily thing. The judge isn't going to look at your journal or anything like that, because he/she has enough paperwork to review. However, if at anypoint you are asked a question, you can pause to look through your notes to get your dates and time straight. It enhances your crediblity rather than sitting there saying "sometime in July".

With the history you mentioned of trespassing, protective orders and such....him saying he is walking away and blaming it all on you is another control tactic.

Keep your chin up

Find the Right Lawyer for Your Legal Issue!

Fast, Free, and Confidential