ServedMinnesota
Junior Member
What is the name of your state? Minnesota
I am the Step Dad. I am not trying to slander anyone, I have not identified anyone, and I am trying to state the facts as best as I can. If I do more than that, I am sorry, point it out but do not rub my nose in it and fixate on small points.
I am a concerned step parent that will say nothing and do nothing about this situation. I did not create it. I will not fix it. I am simply trying to understand the process as this is all new to me. I do not badmouth the ex or the wife or the kids in front of each other. I thought this was an anoynomous forum that I could ask a question on and none of the parties involved would know or be informed of.
If it was a clear cut case, I would not need your silly opinions or attitudes. This case is complicated for me and I need help to know what is important and what is not important and how the courts make decisions.
Even though some have clearly thought my only position I should take legally and morally is to BUT OUT, I have a stake in this as I am now the step dad, and if you like it or not, I am trying to raise a good quality person that will contribute and not be a drain on society.
So... here is the situation and please let me know what the COURTS will decide, not what you think a person should have done here or there or what your personal opinion is.
The dad pays child support. He is the non custodial parent. He is not evil, nor does he belong in jail. I am not going to call child protection services on him.
The child decided after a summer visit that she would rather stay with dad. Police were called, orders shown. Police did not want to get involved. Police statement shows that dad refused to turn child back to custodial parent.
This would be a clear cut case if child was at dads, dad was paying expenses, mom got a check. Then yes, mom should no longer get a check and dad should assume all bills.
So why didnt the mom go to court? The child said she would run away if forced to live with mom. Mom thought it better if she lived with dad than on the street. If you wanted to fight this tooth and nail, one could say the dad is harboring a runaway and ??? The whole thing gets messy and mom thinks she is smoothing things out by doing it this way. No opinions here please, this is what happened and I just want to know about the courts.
So... the child is at dads, but dad is not paying ANY expenses that would be considered part of the child support payment. For the record, he should not either because he would be double paying then. So the child is not with mom, but mom is using the child support payment to pay for items like glasses, food, birthday presents, christmas presents, clothing, medical, school supplies, etc.
Mom does not approve of dads house. Smoke environment and he allows long work hours and not tuff on school grades. Nothing illegal, just disagree. But still better than a runaway.
Dad bribed child to live with him in moms view. Dad bought a car and is paying for insurance, title, tabs, repairs. Mom does not like car. Child has many tickets and court dates because of it. Dad does not pay any food expenses, shampoo, presents, clothing, entertainment, etc. for the child.
So my question is... Dad willingly got child to live with him. He is not paying for any of the childs expenses that would normally be considered to be used from a payment. Mom is using the payment for all of childs expenses besides anything associated with the car.
Does dad have a case to get child support removed?
Does mom start to pay dad child support?
If dad gets child support removed but does not spend the money on the child, does the mom go back to court. Dad has a long history, not just post divorce, of not spending money on the child unless forced to such as with a support payment. Mom does not want a situation that child still comes to her for all the expenses but dad does not share in costs.
I am the Step Dad. I am not trying to slander anyone, I have not identified anyone, and I am trying to state the facts as best as I can. If I do more than that, I am sorry, point it out but do not rub my nose in it and fixate on small points.
I am a concerned step parent that will say nothing and do nothing about this situation. I did not create it. I will not fix it. I am simply trying to understand the process as this is all new to me. I do not badmouth the ex or the wife or the kids in front of each other. I thought this was an anoynomous forum that I could ask a question on and none of the parties involved would know or be informed of.
If it was a clear cut case, I would not need your silly opinions or attitudes. This case is complicated for me and I need help to know what is important and what is not important and how the courts make decisions.
Even though some have clearly thought my only position I should take legally and morally is to BUT OUT, I have a stake in this as I am now the step dad, and if you like it or not, I am trying to raise a good quality person that will contribute and not be a drain on society.
So... here is the situation and please let me know what the COURTS will decide, not what you think a person should have done here or there or what your personal opinion is.
The dad pays child support. He is the non custodial parent. He is not evil, nor does he belong in jail. I am not going to call child protection services on him.
The child decided after a summer visit that she would rather stay with dad. Police were called, orders shown. Police did not want to get involved. Police statement shows that dad refused to turn child back to custodial parent.
This would be a clear cut case if child was at dads, dad was paying expenses, mom got a check. Then yes, mom should no longer get a check and dad should assume all bills.
So why didnt the mom go to court? The child said she would run away if forced to live with mom. Mom thought it better if she lived with dad than on the street. If you wanted to fight this tooth and nail, one could say the dad is harboring a runaway and ??? The whole thing gets messy and mom thinks she is smoothing things out by doing it this way. No opinions here please, this is what happened and I just want to know about the courts.
So... the child is at dads, but dad is not paying ANY expenses that would be considered part of the child support payment. For the record, he should not either because he would be double paying then. So the child is not with mom, but mom is using the child support payment to pay for items like glasses, food, birthday presents, christmas presents, clothing, medical, school supplies, etc.
Mom does not approve of dads house. Smoke environment and he allows long work hours and not tuff on school grades. Nothing illegal, just disagree. But still better than a runaway.
Dad bribed child to live with him in moms view. Dad bought a car and is paying for insurance, title, tabs, repairs. Mom does not like car. Child has many tickets and court dates because of it. Dad does not pay any food expenses, shampoo, presents, clothing, entertainment, etc. for the child.
So my question is... Dad willingly got child to live with him. He is not paying for any of the childs expenses that would normally be considered to be used from a payment. Mom is using the payment for all of childs expenses besides anything associated with the car.
Does dad have a case to get child support removed?
Does mom start to pay dad child support?
If dad gets child support removed but does not spend the money on the child, does the mom go back to court. Dad has a long history, not just post divorce, of not spending money on the child unless forced to such as with a support payment. Mom does not want a situation that child still comes to her for all the expenses but dad does not share in costs.
