opinions on moveaway! Please!

[Tweety14]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? Tennessee.

My son has Joint legal custody and standard visitation , every other weekend and an intervening Weds.However for over two yrs the mother has allowed him to have the child every other week but it is not in the papers.First the mom told him she was moving to Arizona and taking the child in 2 weeks. Of course he was devastated, and he talked to a lawyer who said she couldn't do anything until this morning. Over the weekend she said she was not moving, then was, now not.So he tells this lawyer and she says he shouldn't rock the boat if mom says she is not leaving because of fear of making mom mad, since he really has joint custody, just not on papers. So, he comes home with nothing done.

Now, she has told friends that she alredy has the airline tickets to leave tommorrow, but says she is not going. It seems she has faked him out and rushed the time up. This girl is so unpredictable and lies comstantly.We don't know what to believe.

I think this lawyer has really messed up for not doing anything about it and my son is a dummy for not making her do some emergency thing or something. There is nothing in the papers except that if she is gone for 2 or more days she is supposed to give him a phone number.

Please, what can be done if she does leave in the morning??

Thank you in advance. I am in a panic

 

[Tweety14]

Any advice? Thanks

 

[Zephyr]

if mom does move out of state dad does still have the option to try to have the child returned, mom also has not given appropriate notice, dad should demand his lawyer take whatever action necessary to prevent the move- i.e. emergency motions

 

[snostar]

He NEEDS to contact his attorney ASAP. He can file an emergency ex parte petition (NOW!) restricting the mother from removing the child from state.

 

[NotSoNew]

He NEEDS to contact his attorney ASAP. He can file an emergency ex parte petition (NOW!) restricting the mother from removing the child from state.

he already contacted his attorney!

 

[snostar]

he already contacted his attorney!

Oh, he contacted his attorney AGAIN in the past 8 minutes???

 

[Zephyr]

he already contacted his attorney!

He has to anyway, the court won't allow him to act on his own if there is an attorney on record

 

[Tweety14]

Thank you so much for your replies. Just found out that she has not left and maybe won't today. We are afraid that any time she could up and leave. She is that crazy. Would that court order stop her from leaving a month or 2 later also? I don't think she really meant for us to know about this till she was done there.
Also, if he does file anything she will probably get mad and only let him see the child as the paper states. Is thier anything could be done to ensure that he got to see his child every other week, like she is used to even though the papers don't say it or would he and the child just have to suffer till it finally goes to trial ?
Too, is thier anything we grandparents could do at all if our son decides to wimp out and not do anything. He and the child has always stayed with us.
He sort of lets the babys mom control him, so he doesn't risk the chance of losing time with his child.He is afraid to got to court for custody in fear of losing. Surley the judge would give him joint custody since he has been getting it for over 2 yrs. What do you think? Thank you so much!

 

[NCP Dad in TN]

I understand that fear, of losing, that keeps him from trying to get custody. It's a scary thing, so unknown, but think of it this way:

If he doesn't TRY, he'll never know. You can't get what you don't even ask for. What is the worst thing that could happen? That he would lose, right? Then accept that as a possibility, but don't use it as a reason to not even try!

It's expensive, I know. Money is the one thing standing in between me and my decision to fight my ex for custody. But if he can make it work, in any way possible, it will be all worth it in the long run.

I feel your pain, I know that panic you feel. My ex did the same to me, said she was moving to the other side of the CONTINENT in a few years. Had me all up in arms, thinking they were leaving eventually. She's since changed her mind (or so she says) and won't be leaving... maybe it was to get a reaction out of me, I don't know.

Tell your son to just DO SOMETHING- go to another attorney if this one is blowing him off. And GOOD LUCK.

 

[Tweety14]

NCP DAD,
I knew you would understand since his ex and your ex sound like sisters.It is crazy how women can get by with things like that. Yes, I really think that lawyer is stupid or just plain don't care. It is even the same lawyer that represented the moms other babys grandparents.The paternal grandparents Has her other baby and has every since the baby was 2 or 3 months old.That baby is about 15mon. old now. The mother was just going to move off and leave that baby.Well, she might as well because see doesn't even bother to see it. All I can figure is she gets CS for my grandchild but she doesn't get any for the other baby.It's all about money.Well, tomorrow is his day to get her.I just hope and pray she is not gone or you will hear us across the state. Life is just not fair! Thanks!

 

[Zephyr]

I understand that fear, of losing, that keeps him from trying to get custody. It's a scary thing, so unknown, but think of it this way:

If he doesn't TRY, he'll never know. You can't get what you don't even ask for. What is the worst thing that could happen? That he would lose, right? Then accept that as a possibility, but don't use it as a reason to not even try!

It's expensive, I know. Money is the one thing standing in between me and my decision to fight my ex for custody. But if he can make it work, in any way possible, it will be all worth it in the long run.

I feel your pain, I know that panic you feel. My ex did the same to me, said she was moving to the other side of the CONTINENT in a few years. Had me all up in arms, thinking they were leaving eventually. She's since changed her mind (or so she says) and won't be leaving... maybe it was to get a reaction out of me, I don't know.

Tell your son to just DO SOMETHING- go to another attorney if this one is blowing him off. And GOOD LUCK.

yes if you did get an emergency order to prevent mom moving the child, it would be a temp order until the matter could be officially heard by the court

 

[NCP Dad in TN]

I am sure someone will correct me if I am wrong on this...

But Dad does have visitation, court ordered, right? There IS a Parenting Plan in effect. So if mom moves away, and Dad is denied his court ordered visitation because of that, then Mom would be in contempt, right? For denying the court ordered visitation. If mom is planning on moving away, wouldn't she have to get the visitation changed, through the courts? If not, then she has to make the child available for the visitation that is in the decree.

How does that work, anyway? My Parenting Plan says that if either parent wants to move, they must notify the other parent certified mail, 60 days prior to the move, and the other parent has 30 days to contest. What does your son's plan say, Tweety?

Hang in there. What I have found in my dealings with a similar person is that things are rarely as bad as they seem initially. It's easy to get caught up in panic and feel helpless and stressed.

Whatever your son decides to do, he needs to do it NOW. No more talking about it, thinking about it, do something NOW. Mom is making these threats, she's not been following through on them though, so Dad should take her cues to heart, take them seriously, and act on them accordingly. His time with his child is being threatened, that should not be blown off. He should not sit by and WAIT for her to finally do it... he should try to PREVENT it. The more time that passes, the harder this is going to be... in my opinion...

Good luck!

 

[Tweety14]

His parenting plan doesn't really say anything about moveaway, except that if she is gone more than 2 days she is supposed to give him a phone number and thats it. He probably didn't have a good lawyer then either. Your parenting plan says what it does in the Tennessee code. I have read those codes so many times trying to find something helpful, but they are so confusing. I think that would be contempt, but from what I have heard its only a slap on the wrist.
You are right.It is never going to stop till he does something. Do you think they would at least give him joint custody????
He has people ready and willing to go to court and testify that she doen't even keep this child the week she that is hers.She might have her 2 days out of the 7. She is bounced around everywhere up there. She does make sure she has her on the pickup and drop off days for a while so she can get that CS check and act like she has kept her.We know alot, but she thinks we are so stupid and I am getting tired of acting stupid. I am going to talk to my son when he gets home from work. He or we can't go through this for 14 more yrs. I am a nervous wreck! I wish I wouldn't so attached to this child.

 

[snostar]

Would that court order stop her from leaving a month or 2 later also?

Yes, a CO stays in effect until it is superceded or squashed.

Is thier anything could be done to ensure that he got to see his child every other week, like she is used to even though the papers don't say it or would he and the child just have to suffer till it finally goes to trial ?

His attorney should be sure to request a temporary visitation schedule during proceedings. He will likely be granted at least EOW. The mother will not be obligated to offer more visitation than the order states.

Too, is thier anything we grandparents could do at all if our son decides to wimp out and not do anything. He and the child has always stayed with us.

You can file for visitation, it will be a tough battle if the mother objects, but the fact that you have an established bond with the child will work in your favor.

 

[LdiJ]

Yes, a CO stays in effect until it is superceded or squashed.

His attorney should be sure to request a temporary visitation schedule during proceedings. He will likely be granted at least EOW. The mother will not be obligated to offer more visitation than the order states.


You can file for visitation, it will be a tough battle if the mother objects, but the fact that you have an established bond with the child will work in your favor.

While grandma may have standing to file for visitation, that wouldn't be a particularly wise move....and a since dad lives with grandma and she has full access to the child on dad's time...she would lose.

It would be far better to spend her available legal bucks on dad's case. He has guaranteed rights and since he has had defacto joint custody for two years, his odds are strong.

However, he does have something to lose....because once he files mom's going to stick strictly to the previous orders until the case is decided.