Opinions regarding the general sympathy of court?

[THXFelicia]

What is the name of your state? CA
I am wondering if anyone with some prior knowledge of court cases can help me in trying to figure out how a judge/court views a biological father ( who approx. 5-6 yrs. ago was convicted of felony child abuse for shaking infant and breaking a leg) and his request to now be allowed to have unsupervised visits? The biological father, as a condition of probation in 1998, took a parenting class about children birth to age 4, attended 3 months of weekly therapy, and successfully completed his house arrest, weekends in jail. Once allowed to have supervised visits with child --he attended them, and paid his support. I am the Cp of the child and am looking for any type of website addresses or other helpful organizations that I can find out about other past rulings involving abuse. While in the same state, I supervised the visits from 9 am to 6 pm (allowing for nap time in between) two Saturdays a month. I have absolutely no problem doing this as long as it keeps the child safe, for as long as I possibly am allowed to by court. The biological father had never been abusive to me, and no record before his abuse was discovered of my infant. The biological father said things after being convicted that are bothersome. He stated that he felt like he did the abuse because "he knew the child could not talk, and was not able to do anything about it". He went out of his way to be alone with the child--often saying that he wanted time to bond alone with child--(later found out he progressed to the leg breaking--some form of abuse occured almost everytime he was alone with child). Child was 13 weeks old when leg was broken. When 'little things' were happening to the child and child was brought to the doctors before he was caught, he almost seemed to enjoy going to the doctors. The pediatrician and Er gushed over him--saying how cute to see such a good involved dad--these things scare me---he liked the attention he got when the doctor (not suspecting he had done the injury) made him feel so important. I am desperate to find out what I am really dealing with, underlying mental condition, or are lots of child abusers similiar in nature? I am at a loss as to how to gather info to fight unsupervised visits---any help so greatly appreciated.

 

[The It]

By your stated observations, it seems there may be underlying concerns for your childs' safety. Perhaps you can work with the court to get supervised visitation at the local family involvement center before unsupervised visits are allowed.

 

[Melanie_Jenkins]

They say this is more a form of a woman inflicting abuse, but by what you have wrote, it sure seems like he may have this illness.

In Munchausen Syndrome By Proxy (MSBP), occasions for being centre of attention are created by deliberately causing illness, injury or harm to others to provide opportunities for rescue and care. Often the MSBP sufferer will work as a nurse, perhaps in a hospital ward for sick children (especially very young babies) or in a home for elderly persons, or with severely handicapped people, or as a care giver; the common thread is a victim whose is vulnerable, whose verbal skills or emotional state or mental condition prevents them from explaining what the MSBP person is doing to them and whose hold on life may already be precarious. Even if the victim survives, they cannot or will not be a witness. Because death amongst these groups occurs normally and is therefore not unusual or unexpected, her activities in causing death may escape notice for years.

I may watch too much TV at night, but when I read your post it triggered memories of a True Story movie I watched. A woman was causing her child harm and making him severely sick. The child was in and out of the hospital for years until a doctor finally caught on. She thrived on the attention she received at the doctors or hospitals when her son was admitted.

I'm probably way off mark here, but any suggestion is better than no suggestion, right? Hang in there, hopefully some others can help you on your legal advice.

 

[The It]

Mel, I saw that show and with your response triggered the chill I got inside from watching it. For the childs' safety, I hope you are wrong, but, to the OP, maybe you can get a psychological evaluation done on the father to rule out such a possibility or other mental instability which would make him unable to respond appropriately to the child in a private envirionment. This can be acheived as a Motion/Order for supervised or unsupervised visitation using as much relevant information available to you to be included in your affidavit to support this action.

 

[THXFelicia]

Can concerns still be brought out?

Thank you so much for some ideas to try. I have thought this might be some form of Maunchausen by Proxy before, but like you, I am not sure if it has applied to men before. Even though the biofather has supervised visits now, when he makes a motion to get unsupervised can I bring these concerns up then? The abuse was discovered about 5-6 yrs ago. Is this considered to have happened too long ago to count? I did not have to bring into evidence then why he should not have unsupervised yet--judge had always not entertained the idea because of the prior abuse. What you said about the abuser often working in a healthcare type setting hit home. The biofather worked as an EMT during the summer after high school, and then during our relationship was very involved in volunteer fire dept/rescue squad (and I believe he still continues to do this)--he is more than fairly knowledgable about injuries. I thought it was so odd when I was called to the ER (when child had been brought in with broken leg, but biofather had not been formally accused yet) and the biofather kept saying to the doctors how concerned he was that the break was going to cause massive bleeding from the femoral artery since it was in such close proximity. He repeated this 'worry' many times--almost like that is what he maybe hoped to accomplish? (Guessing here). It just does not seem to fit the typical 'abuse' scenario--which is what really baffles us. He got away with alot because of how 'charming and involved a parent' he was--said by many a doctor. When I spoke to DSS about this case, they told me they felt almost sorry for the biofather because he was 'a good guy who did some bad things'. When my child was shaken at 2 months of age (eventually found out this was at least the second shaking incident), he was hospitalized with classic signs of shaken baby syndrome, and yet not one test was ever conducted to investigate this possibility. When I asked later why not--was told that we seemed like good involved parents and did not fit the mold--especially because the hospital admitted the child to observe the vomiting and head swelling at the request of the parents. My child was released 4 days later--weighing less than admitted, head growth still increasing (in 2 weeks head enlarged, went from 45th%-to 90th%)--and 4 weeks later the child was hospitalized again--this time for the injury I believe saved his life--because finally the broken femur was taken serious. Thanks for taking the time to read--I know the story is soo long. I appreciate any feedback.

 

[ellencee]

THXFelicia
Get an attorney and expert witness testimony about child abusers and Maunchausen by Proxy and petition the court to prohibit any unsupervised contact with this (or any other child). In this situation, I am in favor of 100% termination of the father's ability to ever see the child again for as long as either one may live.

Oh--the court's sympathy will lie with the child and the prevention of this child's being at the mercy of such horrible and inexcusable abuse.

EC

 

[THXFelicia]

Maunchausen by Proxy as applied to a man?

I pray every night that the court's sympathy resides with my child, as well praying for the baby I found out that the abuser recently had with a woman who does not know that he is a convicted felon. I am very scared for this new baby, as well. During the last supervised visit--the abuser out of the blue asked me "what age do kids start talking"--very weird. We don't really talk, he just asked that midway into the visit. Makes me worry he is scheming to hurt the next baby. My husband and I often dream about what it would be like not to have this 'man' in our child's life and to know that our child is forever safe. I don't think at this point parental rights can be terminated (I wish they could!). I just am so scared they won't continue to be supervised. Is Maunchausen by Proxy only directed towards women? I am frightened that the judge will just look at the fact he pays his support, and when able makes his visits, and will give him a second chance. But to give someone a second chance with someone's life and safety is horrible. That is strictly going with the biofather's best interest, not the childs. Thanks for the advice!

 

[Melanie_Jenkins]

They just say it is 'usually' women.

Bring up a search on your computer for it, you can do a lot of research on it that way.

Usually, the children become sick with an unknown illness. However, since you said he was an EMT at some point, with that knowledge he could have found a new form of doing it.

Like I said before, I could be way off base here. He -could- just be a sick man that found clever ways of abusing children and knows how to act, so that he isn't a suspect in the cause.

Good luck to you.