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Oral order not written down

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MeiyaZZ

Guest
What is the name of your state? NY

Today my husband was supposed to pick up our two year old for a three week visitation that was orally given by the judge. We recieved no paper stating what time , who was to watch the child while my husband was at work , what number can i call to invoke phone visitation , who was going to be living at the adress , ect ect ad nasuem. Anyway our lawyer told us three oclock and they came at six stating that six was the time they were told to come down and pick up the child. Our lawyer advised us not to turn over my son as the visitation pickup was to be at three. Since their was no written order for this can we get in trouble for possibly violating a court ordered visitation?
 


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DesperateMom21

Guest
If the judge ordered it,then whether it was wriiten on paper or not,it is still the judges order.You by refusing visitation have violated that order.I would beware of the contempt charges that may follow very soon.
 
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Esimon1

Guest
By refusing to allow him to pick the child up, you basically made yourself look bad, regardless of what time they showed.
I would find another atty, since it sounds like the one who advised you to not turn child over, seems to be incouraging you and ex to do battle, instead of being a "team" in raising your child.
Finding out phone numbers, addresses, of where the child will be is ultimately up to you and dad to discuss. My best advice is to keep the situation at a mutual, friendly term/basis, and out of court as much as possible. If you and dad can be civil, and agree on issues pertaining to son from day 1, then by all means keep it that way. It saves a lot of stress, agrivation, and bitterness, all of which have no place in your child's life. Best of Luck.
 
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MeiyaZZ

Guest
To Esimon

Besides getting a more competant attorney what else can i do to rectify the mistake of listening to my lawyer? would it be good form to call and ask him to pick up our son or is it to late for that?. What a hole i am in . . .oh boy what a hole.
 
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Lil Miss Smarty Panties

Guest
yes you should call him, offer to make up the time he missed. offer an apology and explain it was bad advice from your attorney. everything esimon said was good advice. if you can do this on a friendly basis then by all means keep the attorneys out of it. I don't even know what that attorney was thinking telling you not to turn the child over. thats just gonna cause bitterness and more court hearings and a lot of headaches and aggravation. your husband may very well have been given the pick up time as 6:00. If none of this was written down there could have been confusion and mistakes made. Believe me, you don't want to go down that road of constant fighting and nit picking over minor things. The children are the ones who always suffer because of it.
 
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Esimon1

Guest
If it were me, I would probably call ex, and explain the lawyer advised you to not let him pick up the child, but after mauling it over, you want to be able to keep a good relationship w/him because it is best for the child. I would apologize, since the judge made that decision so vague, and ask him if there's another appropriate time for him to pick the child up. I would make it perfectly clear that you do not want to start any conflicts or wage battle. Maybe both of you sitting down and discussing your own visitation agreement would be a better solution, instead of always having to go through court. Just my opinion.
 
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MeiyaZZ

Guest
Thank you for the advice but i have to say that i am still very confused. My husband was the one who filed and he accused me of all sorts of things , Including domestic violence against him. I dont think we can do things on a friendly basis even though that would be prefereable to me. My mother and lawyer tell me that it is not a good idea to talk to him as whatever i say he can twist around to use against me but my opinion is that this is the time where talking is needed most. , i think you'll agree with me on this point. I think my plan will be to get another lawyer and file for divorce since husband hasnt yet and maybe crossclaim for custody.This whole thing is a big mess and i think that if only i didnt go visit my parents for memorial day and stayed home none of this would have happened.
 
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Lil Miss Smarty Panties

Guest
forgive me if I sound a little presumptuous but it sounds like you both may have a lot of outside influences contributing to the problem. Is it too late to maybe try marriage counseling?
 
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MeiyaZZ

Guest
To Lil Miss

Not to sound totally ignorant here but im really not sure if its too late. It seems like it is to late because hubby has already started proceedings against me and said a lot of hateul things about me. Frankly im not sure if i can return to a man who has already stated to me that he can get any number of his friends to come in and lie for him. Someone who has rewritten past events to suit his own needs. Yeah i actually think it may be to late , he's done some major damage and i dont think i want to be married to him because of this.
 

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