Orthodonist bill and visits

[boggledmind]

What is the name of your state?OHIO

I have full custody of my kids. My son needs orthodontia work - actually got expanders yesterday. It's a 2-year process that I paid for upfront (excluding the part not covered by insurance).

I provided my ex with a copy of the bill. Per the divorce decree she is to pay me her 38% share within 30 days - $1350. The decree is very clear, and it says nothing about her getting more time to pay me if it is over a certain amount.

She exploded on the phone - "my lawyer says I don't have to pay this all at once because it's so high" (I've now heard this phrase a million times along with "I'm gonna tell my lawyer about this"...lol), and "my lawyer says I am entitled to attend the appointments and have input in this decision because it is so expensive".

I did keep her out of both of his appointments because she has publicly embarrassed the kids and me on more than one occasion with her ranting. And from what I know, I am on very firm ground doing that.

Any thoughts, experiences on the appointements and money issues? I can file for contempt (or have some recourse) if she hasn't paid me in full within 30 days, correct?

Thanks in advance...

 

[lisagr33]

If the court order says she has to pay 38% within 30 days of the actual visit then yes she has to pay it. If she does not the she is in contempt. However, regardless of her embarassing the children if your court order states that she can be present at the medical appointments then she needs to be there. What does your court order say about both parents being able to be present at medical appointments?

 

[boggledmind]

Clarification

If the court order says she has to pay 38% within 30 days of the actual visit then yes she has to pay it. If she does not the she is in contempt. However, regardless of her embarassing the children if your court order states that she can be present at the medical appointments then she needs to be there. What does your court order say about both parents being able to be present at medical appointments?

The decree says nothing regarding both parents being present at any type of appointments. But it does clearly state that I am the legal and residential custodian - therefore, all types of decisions like this are mine to make without her interference, correct?

Also, she called the orthodonist's office after receiving the bill demanding to be present for future appts and demanding copies of anything I signed. They refused and called me about it. I told them I have no problem with them discussing or explaining the costs or the procedure with her on her own time - not mine.

 

[brisgirl825]

Do you have joint legal custody, with you having primary residential?

It is possible for her to take this to court and be allowed to make payments. It's hard for most people to come up with that type of money w/o knowing about it in advance. If you had told her, she could have been saving and preparing for it.

Why are you refusing to allow her to make payments?

 

[boggledmind]

Do you have joint legal custody, with you having primary residential?

It is possible for her to take this to court and be allowed to make payments. It's hard for most people to come up with that type of money w/o knowing about it in advance. If you had told her, she could have been saving and preparing for it.

Why are you refusing to allow her to make payments?

As I stated, I have full custody - sole custody, no shared parenting, whatever the term is where you live.

There was no advanced notice to tell her about - I made an appointment, 5 days later took my son in, agreed with what they said needed to be done and paid for it. She lives with her mother and received over $13K four months ago for her share of my home. She can't truthfully say she doesn't have the resources.

And I wasn't given the option of making payments by the provider - it had to all be paid upfront. I had to put it on a CC - but the work needed is years overdue.

 

[Sandwalk]

I am just wondering why you could not put this on a payment plan. I have put orthodontics on payment plans for both bio and stepkids.
The way that I did it was paid for the amount that I owed directly to the orthodontist and let the orthodontist charge whatever the ex owed on payments or an all at once payment.
I am also wondering if your CO specifically states orthodontics or if it only stated dental. I think that in most states that orthodontics and dental are two seperate issues and need to be stated specifically in order to hold ncp responsible for paying. Anyone else help me out on this one?

 

[stealth2]

Not all orthodontists will accept a payment plan.

My concern is the level of hostility towards your ex that is very plain. How much of that are you projecting to your kids? (and yes, I have read your other, lengthy post)

 

[betterthanher]

The legal fact of the matter here it is spelled out in plain english. She owes you that money in that period of time or she's in contempt. Period.

Let her call her lawyer. There isn't a damn thing he/she can do about it. The lawyer also needs to learn to read, too. Tell her to start paying up (but let's be realistic, asking her that all of that upfront is a little steep). Get her on a payment plan (or even your own) and get it in writing.

 

[boggledmind]

The legal fact of the matter here it is spelled out in plain english. She owes you that money in that period of time or she's in contempt. Period.

Let her call her lawyer. There isn't a damn thing he/she can do about it. The lawyer also needs to learn to read, too. Tell her to start paying up (but let's be realistic, asking her that all of that upfront is a little steep). Get her on a payment plan (or even your own) and get it in writing.

When we had our settlement meeting in March I attempted to bury the hatchet. It lasted for 3 weeks when she took all the family photos taken since the kids were born. They were supposed to be split. She asked if she and my daughter could split them up over her weekend with the kids. On that condition, I permitted the photos to leave my home.

That was the last time I ever saw them. She refuses to return them. She told my son I may not be his father. And you think I should cut her some slack and allow her to pay me in installments?

Never again....

 

[brisgirl825]

And you think I should cut her some slack and allow her to pay me in installments?

Never again....

Well, whether you allow it or not, she'll likely pay in installments. Then when you take her to court for contempt, you can tell them that you refused to let her know of the appts, she's currently paying you back on a large sum, and see what happens. We aren't talking about a few co-pays here, it's over $1300. The judge will see that you are being an a$$, so go ahead and keep on with your crap.

I started to feel sorry for you in your post on custody/visitation board. Now seeing your attitude here, makes me wonder how much of this is just as much your fault. Seems both of you are spending too much time getting back at one another to realize that you're only hurting the kids.

GROW UP.

 

[haiku]

Its hard to get blood from a stone. If you go for a contempt charge you can ask to have her support legally reduced until she "pays back" what is owed.

 

[betterthanher]

When we had our settlement meeting in March I attempted to bury the hatchet. It lasted for 3 weeks when she took all the family photos taken since the kids were born. They were supposed to be split. She asked if she and my daughter could split them up over her weekend with the kids. On that condition, I permitted the photos to leave my home.

That was the last time I ever saw them. She refuses to return them. She told my son I may not be his father. And you think I should cut her some slack and allow her to pay me in installments?

Never again....

And none of this has anything to do with the subject at hand. You've been given advice. You can either take the advice given you or you can do it your way.

 

[boggledmind]

Well, whether you allow it or not, she'll likely pay in installments.

If that's the case, I'll abide by it - as I have with every other condition that has come my way thru this entire process - good or bad. But I won't allow her to dictate to me how it's gonna be.

Then when you take her to court for contempt, you can tell them that you refused to let her know of the appts, she's currently paying you back on a large sum, and see what happens.

If the court decides she can pay in installments, so be it - no reason to file for contempt.

The judge will see that you are being an a$$, so go ahead and keep on with your crap.

Where the f*ck do you get off judging people in this way? Obviously, on a forum like this there is NO WAY to clue people into all that has gone on with anyone's situation - life situations that have occured over years. But you have the cajones to call me names?

I started to feel sorry for you in your post on custody/visitation board. Now seeing your attitude here, makes me wonder how much of this is just as much your fault.

B1tch, I never asked for, nor would I ever want your pity (or armchair advice). I came here for some LEGAL advice. I can take care of myself, thanks. It's my kids' lives that concern me - SOLELY! If I had the time or inclination to educate you with the entire history of what my kids and I have done thru, it would melt your broom!

GROW UP.

Just who in the ph*ck do you think you are to talk to anyone this way? I have gone back thru your posts as you have:

1. Criticized people trying to get answers for being 'newbies' - like you are the new Clarence Darrow.

2. I've seen you smacked down by others with much more (more? any!) expertise for giving people insipid and ignorant advice (to people that come here despearatley seeking real help), and when that happens you are always defensive - you never admit that you may have led someone in the completely wrong direction.

3. I've seen you actually tell someone to get off their happy butt and get a job while you proclaim that you are a SAHM. I'm assuming that means stay-at-home-mom (and not self-aborbed-hate-monger). We all feel real warm and fuzzy that your 2nd (3rd?) husband makes enough jack so that you can sit your your happy a$$ all day long and troll forums while your kids beg for some Mac & Cheese.

Your current hubby is such a bread earner that you don't have to work and provide. How freaking fortunate for you. Most of us don't have that luxury to sit back and judge others. Oh, that's right - you said if you found out he had knocked-up someone else, you would get a job. Strange reaction - but you are strange.

You've been on this forum since January I think. I guess 8 months makes you no longer a 'newbie'. You are confident enough in your assumptions and arm-chair legal knowledge to now give people all kinds of advice on $hit to which you have not a clue. And not only are you wonderful enough to give them your half-assed opinions, you are also tuned in enough to all situations to actually judge people - like you did me.

I can hear you now - "I'm only online when my kids are sleeping..gone..at school" - whatever. Great! If you think you are so f*%king educated to hand out legal advice after trolling here for 8-9 months, and you are so well off that your getting a real job to help support your family is just more jack in the bank, then spend your time online getting a degree. Most of us don't have that luxury - or the luxury to judge.

As on most forums, there is a little clique here. Criticise one and there is a pack mentality. I came here trying to tell my reality as succintly as possible...not to be attacked. Don't lie my attidtue toward my ex? Fine commiserate with her when she learns how to put a sentence together.

Regardless, I've learned that if you need expertise, you'll have to pay for it.

And people like you are just a CNT


All that's missing is you!!

 

[LdiJ]

I only skimmed this whole thing.

However, the bottom line is that there are very few parents who could suddenly come up with 1350.00 without significant warning.

You can expect to recieve installments at the very best.

 

[betterthanher]

If that's the case, I'll abide by it - as I have with every other condition that has come my way thru this entire process - good or bad. But I won't allow her to dictate to me how it's gonna be.

If the court decides she can pay in installments, so be it - no reason to file for contempt.

Where the f*ck do you get off judging people in this way? Obviously, on a forum like this there is NO WAY to clue people into all that has gone on with anyone's situation - life situations that have occured over years. But you have the cajones to call me names?

B1tch, I never asked for, nor would I ever want your pity (or armchair advice). I came here for some LEGAL advice. I can take care of myself, thanks. It's my kids' lives that concern me - SOLELY! If I had the time or inclination to educate you with the entire history of what my kids and I have done thru, it would melt your broom!

Just who in the ph*ck do you think you are to talk to anyone this way? I have gone back thru your posts as you have:

1. Criticized people trying to get answers for being 'newbies' - like you are the new Clarence Darrow.

2. I've seen you smacked down by others with much more (more? any!) expertise for giving people insipid and ignorant advice (to people that come here despearatley seeking real help), and when that happens you are always defensive - you never admit that you may have led someone in the completely wrong direction.

3. I've seen you actually tell someone to get off their happy butt and get a job while you proclaim that you are a SAHM. I'm assuming that means stay-at-home-mom (and not self-aborbed-hate-monger). We all feel real warm and fuzzy that your 2nd (3rd?) husband makes enough jack so that you can sit your your happy a$$ all day long and troll forums while your kids beg for some Mac & Cheese.

Your current hubby is such a bread earner that you don't have to work and provide. How freaking fortunate for you. Most of us don't have that luxury to sit back and judge others. Oh, that's right - you said if you found out he had knocked-up someone else, you would get a job. Strange reaction - but you are strange.

You've been on this forum since January I think. I guess 8 months makes you no longer a 'newbie'. You are confident enough in your assumptions and arm-chair legal knowledge to now give people all kinds of advice on $hit to which you have not a clue. And not only are you wonderful enough to give them your half-assed opinions, you are also tuned in enough to all situations to actually judge people - like you did me.

I can hear you now - "I'm only online when my kids are sleeping..gone..at school" - whatever. Great! If you think you are so f*%king educated to hand out legal advice after trolling here for 8-9 months, and you are so well off that your getting a real job to help support your family is just more jack in the bank, then spend your time online getting a degree. Most of us don't have that luxury - or the luxury to judge.

As on most forums, there is a little clique here. Criticise one and there is a pack mentality. I came here trying to tell my reality as succintly as possible...not to be attacked. Don't lie my attidtue toward my ex? Fine commiserate with her when she learns how to put a sentence together.

Regardless, I've learned that if you need expertise, you'll have to pay for it.

And people like you are just a CNT

All that's missing is you!!

Dude, you pretty much toss any chance of getting further assistance on this forum out the window once you start calling people names. While I understand the frustration/anger, it's better to try to calm it down as best as you can.

We are giving you realistic advice. What would YOU do if all of a sudden you were presented with a bill out of the blue that was $1300 and you had to pay it in 30 days or else? You'd probably react short of crapping yourself. LOL

You can file contempt charges and you WILL have a judge order her to pay this in installments. It could very well play out that a Judge could order her to pay a small amount like 20 or 30 bucks a month. I am sure that would infuriate you even more.

OR you can be the bigger person in all of this and write up a payment plan where she has to pay around $100-$150/month by a specific date. In this letter, as a "reminder", quote the exact language from your order about paying a certain percentage within the specified period of time. Tell her you are allowing her to do this instead of filing contempt of court order charges against her. Let her know you are giving her the opportunity to "make this good." But include language in this letter that states if she misses one payment, you file contempt charges for the remaining amount due to be paid immediately. Include a line where she is to sign and date this letter and return it to you within 5 days.

I would also advice strongly that you do NOT include any "attitude" in this letter at all. Keep in professional, direct and to-the-point. You want it to come across like you mean business, but you're not being an a-hole about it.

Right now, YOU DO have control of this. If you file contempt charges, it could very well play out like I said and you have no control over it. I strongly suggest you do the latter that I suggested and work out something and send it to her, certified w/return reciept.

Take it or leave it, man. We advise, you decide.