OT, sort of -- ? for NCP's -- what you need/want from CP's.......

[usmcfamily]

This is not a "legal" question so much as it is a "making the best of things" question.
I am the CP -- due to life circumstance (choices made by both the NCP and myself) there is a considerable difference between the two families. We have a very amicable relationship that we have worked very hard to build and maintain for our daughter's sake....my ? is I want to hear from the NCP's point-of-view what the CP could do to help you feel more connected to your child and their life? As of right now visitations are few and far between (not by anyone's animosity but just by situation - visitation has NEVER been denied at all) however we do alternate taking turns paying for phone calls at least once a week for them to talk....but I find myself looking at it from his point of view and thinking how much it must hurt to not be closer to our little girl. If you could have the CP in your case do one or two things that would make you feel more like a part of your child's life what would they be? He hasn't always been the most involved parent but has been making real efforts over the last few years and I want for that to continue (I was the ultimate Daddy's girl and don't want our daughter to miss that relationship anymore than she will due to circumstance)........what are the little things that the CP could do in your case that would make things better for/between you and your child/ren?

 

[skyy]

Since you seem to have a good relationship with your NCP, I'll skip the major gripes (like not having a current address or phone number).

1. copies of school progress reports and pictures
2. letters written by the child with some art she made
3. knowing the child is allowed to visit her NCP grandparents or call to keep them updated with pictures of any major events

I'm sure these would hold my husband over until visitation because he wouldn't feel like he had to fight so hard to keep her in his life.

 

[haiku]

encourage the letter writing (we write letters from thier sister to the kids and never get anything back)

informed of the things going on in thier lives, like sports banquets, school events. he can't go to all of them due to his work but he can at least make the 'do a great job honey" phone call.

informed of school picture time so he can buy a packet (we get reports from school, but they never tell us this stuff)

better relay of phone messages so the kids call him back, when one or all are not home.

making it clear in her home that the kids are welcome to call him or sister or me to come over anytime they want.

And in that vein, making sure that weekly telephone visitation is followed.

 

[craftymom]

not a small thing, but.....

If you and the NCP both have internet, and a little spare cash to buy systems, how about internet "video conferences" once a week? Sometimes that'll put that extra "something" into the relationship if they see each other once a week, as well as talking.

Or, on a smaller scale and going along haiku's idea of informed about extra-curricular activities----perhaps video tape sports events, band concerts (later down the road), girl scout activities (if it applies), or even video your daughter as she makes the drawings she's sending to dad--maybe even with her doing "dialogue" as she makes them?

 

[ktarra617]

I know what my hubby would like would be RESPECT!!! For standing up to the plate and being a man providing for his child like he should.

He would like to not hear his daughter told to call the boyfriend dad.

He would like a little understanding that he does have a life and a job and other responsibilities so he cant just drop everything to listen to her complain about life in general.

He would like to her to support his role in his daughter's life. Which she adamantly refuses to do. She tries to put her boyfriend forward.

He would like her to take his opinion into account about issues regarding their child and maybe go along with him from time to time instead of always just saying well she lives with me so this is what I am going to do anyway.

It all comes down to respect, you don't have to like each other but you do have respect the other parent enough to co-parent effectively for the childs sake. Especially when the NCP is bending over backwards and doing all kinds things to make sure that his child has everything that her mother wants her to have within reason ofcourse.

JMHO though.