Out of State Visitation Flights

[Rhino50]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Virginia

Little background first: I live in Missouri and my kids live in Virginia. They have been there since 2010 and since then I have had 6 weeks in the summer, EO Thanksgiving and we split Christmas. I also have EO spring break, but that does not happen because there spring break never matches up with mine since I am a teacher, so they have never been able to come.

I was recently taken back to court once again by my ex and this time she some how got it switched in the custody agreement even with my lawyer present that the summer visitation be reduced to 4 weeks and now she has total control over the flights. She books the flights and I am supposed to pay her back before they fly. She also had it put in the agreement that they only fly direct flights from Dulles to KCI airport, which is a huge problem because I live 3 1/2 hours from Kansas City and she lives 30 mins from Dulles. Also the only airline that flies out of Dulles to KCI is United and they charge a $150 unaccompained minor fee each way. I emailed her my dates in March and at that time told her not to purchase the flights until I had seen the price and times. She emails me back last week that she had already purchased the tickets and I would just have to deal with it. Prior to this I purchased their flight home and she purchased their flight to me. I have NEVER paid more that $250 total for their return flight home and now she's asking me to pay her $425 with the unaccompained minor fee. It's outrages! My question is there anything that can be done to get this changed? I cannot afford to pay $425 two to three times a year for them to fly here when I know for a fact they can fly to an airport in that area for much cheaper, plus they are almost 14 and 10 and on other airlines they don't even charge the minor fee for that age. I am on a very tight budget and she knows this, so my honest belief is that she did this to push me out of their lives which is her ultimate goal. I'm just curious if anyone else has a similiar situation or agreement and what they have done. Needless to say my ex and myself DO NOT get along at ALL!!!

 

[Silverplum]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Virginia

Little background first: I live in Missouri and my kids live in Virginia. They have been there since 2010 and since then I have had 6 weeks in the summer, EO Thanksgiving and we split Christmas. I also have EO spring break, but that does not happen because there spring break never matches up with mine since I am a teacher, so they have never been able to come.

I was recently taken back to court once again by my ex and this time she some how got it switched in the custody agreement even with my lawyer present that the summer visitation be reduced to 4 weeks and now she has total control over the flights. She books the flights and I am supposed to pay her back before they fly. She also had it put in the agreement that they only fly direct flights from Dulles to KCI airport, which is a huge problem because I live 3 1/2 hours from Kansas City and she lives 30 mins from Dulles. Also the only airline that flies out of Dulles to KCI is United and they charge a $150 unaccompained minor fee each way. I emailed her my dates in March and at that time told her not to purchase the flights until I had seen the price and times. She emails me back last week that she had already purchased the tickets and I would just have to deal with it. Prior to this I purchased their flight home and she purchased their flight to me. I have NEVER paid more that $250 total for their return flight home and now she's asking me to pay her $425 with the unaccompained minor fee. It's outrages! My question is there anything that can be done to get this changed? I cannot afford to pay $425 two to three times a year for them to fly here when I know for a fact they can fly to an airport in that area for much cheaper, plus they are almost 14 and 10 and on other airlines they don't even charge the minor fee for that age. I am on a very tight budget and she knows this, so my honest belief is that she did this to push me out of their lives which is her ultimate goal. I'm just curious if anyone else has a similiar situation or agreement and what they have done. Needless to say my ex and myself DO NOT get along at ALL!!!

Why did you agree to this arrangement?

At this time, you are under the control of that new court order and must obey the terms. I looked through the VA codes and did not see a limit as to how long you must wait to modify the parenting time schedule -- maybe your attorney knows.

 

[ecmst12]

What was her reasoning to wanting control over booking the flights? Had you been booking flights at inconvenient times or places for her?

 

[gam]

What airline was this that allowed both your 10 and 14 year old unaccompanied? You need to do some checking, cause many have changed their rules on children flying alone and many have upped the unaccompanied minor fee. I just recently was checking many different airlines, and from what I saw on those ones, your 10 year old can't fly unaccompanied and you have to pay the fee. The 14 year old can(again this is just off of the many I checked), but the 14 year old is not old to be in charge of the 10 year old. All the ones I checked required the older child to be 16, some were 18. That unaccompained fee for United just changed Feb 2013 to the $150.

 

[CJane]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Virginia

She also had it put in the agreement that they only fly direct flights from Dulles to KCI airport, which is a huge problem because I live 3 1/2 hours from Kansas City and she lives 30 mins from Dulles. Also the only airline that flies out of Dulles to KCI is United and they charge a $150 unaccompained minor fee each way.

Which airport would you prefer they fly in to?

they are almost 14 and 10 and on other airlines they don't even charge the minor fee for that age.

At 14, the fee is optional - so refuse to pay that portion for that child, if you wish.

But I don't understand how you were IN COURT, and all of this is a surprise to you.

 

[Rhino50]

Unfortunately I couldn't fly out for the court date because of obligations at work, so I guess I got what I got because I wasn't there! My attorney wanted another $1000 after I had already given him $1500 for simply rescheduling the first court date and writing a response letter to her attorney...nothing else was done, so I guess when he represented me in court he just agreed to what they wanted after I had specifically told him I wouldn't except anything except reducing my daughters time to 4 weeks because she’s getting ready to start high school and is involved heavily in activities.

As for why she wanted it changed there’s NO reason! I had flown them into Baltimore a couple of times, but that’s only about an hour and a half from where they live, so it wasn’t totally out of the way compared to what I have to do each time. At Christmas, their flight was cancelled because of weather and that really T’d her off, but I wasn’t going to send them when the airline recommended I shouldn’t because of ice in Baltimore. The flight got in late, so I’m sure that’s one reason, but every other time they were there by 8pm at the latest and on time.

As for them fly without the unaccompanied status I did it through Southwest at Christmas. They allow you to let them fly without it as long as one of them is 12 or older. My daughter has been travelling since she was little and I’m not worried about her being in charge at all. They have only flown direct flights, so I don’t see a problem with it.

I will tell you now the main reason why she wanted this is for the control. She thinks if she can make the process as difficult as possible then I’ll just give up and not want to see them anymore! She is remarried and has my kids calling her husband Dad and telling everyone out there that I basically don’t exist and they are the parents. She is honestly crazy and I believe she will do anything she possibly can to make life as difficult as possible for me and to prevent me from spending time with them. I know you hear this all the time, but the things that have been done and said by her in emails, texts and phone conversations are seriously certifiable!!!

I just want to know if there's a certain amount of time I have to wait in order to try and change this or can I try and find some help now? I really can't afford another attorney, so I will try and do as much as possible myself, but won't waste my time if I have to wait. Also are there any father's rights groups out there that offer any type of free legal support?

Thanks for all the information!!!

 

[Silverplum]

Unfortunately I couldn't fly out for the court date because of obligations at work, so I guess I got what I got because I wasn't there! My attorney wanted another $1000 after I had already given him $1500 for simply rescheduling the first court date and writing a response letter to her attorney...nothing else was done, so I guess when he represented me in court he just agreed to what they wanted after I had specifically told him I wouldn't except anything except reducing my daughters time to 4 weeks because she’s getting ready to start high school and is involved heavily in activities.

As for why she wanted it changed there’s NO reason! I had flown them into Baltimore a couple of times, but that’s only about an hour and a half from where they live, so it wasn’t totally out of the way compared to what I have to do each time. At Christmas, their flight was cancelled because of weather and that really T’d her off, but I wasn’t going to send them when the airline recommended I shouldn’t because of ice in Baltimore. The flight got in late, so I’m sure that’s one reason, but every other time they were there by 8pm at the latest and on time.

As for them fly without the unaccompanied status I did it through Southwest at Christmas. They allow you to let them fly without it as long as one of them is 12 or older. My daughter has been travelling since she was little and I’m not worried about her being in charge at all. They have only flown direct flights, so I don’t see a problem with it.

I will tell you now the main reason why she wanted this is for the control. She thinks if she can make the process as difficult as possible then I’ll just give up and not want to see them anymore! She is remarried and has my kids calling her husband Dad and telling everyone out there that I basically don’t exist and they are the parents. She is honestly crazy and I believe she will do anything she possibly can to make life as difficult as possible for me and to prevent me from spending time with them. I know you hear this all the time, but the things that have been done and said by her in emails, texts and phone conversations are seriously certifiable!!!

I just want to know if there's a certain amount of time I have to wait in order to try and change this or can I try and find some help now? I really can't afford another attorney, so I will try and do as much as possible myself, but won't waste my time if I have to wait. Also are there any father's rights groups out there that offer any type of free legal support?

Thanks for all the information!!!

You can't change the recent court order just because you don't like it, or because you couldn't afford an attorney for that hearing.

Pro bono attorneys are hard to come by, as are pro bono plumbers. Make many phone calls to VA attorney groups, is all I can advise you to do on that subject.

 

[Proserpina]

You can't change the recent court order just because you don't like it, or because you couldn't afford an attorney for that hearing.

Pro bono attorneys are hard to come by, as are pro bono plumbers. Make many phone calls to VA attorney groups, is all I can advise you to do on that subject.

I think this the bestest thing I've read all day!

 

[Zigner]

From the OP's other thread: https://forum.freeadvice.com/newreply.php?do=newreply&p=3173496

First of all you don't know what my whole situation is so please stay out of it! As for phoning in for court...would have loved too, but VA doesn't allow it and I couldn't afford the flight after spending almost $25,000 over the last 10 years to make sure my kids are in my life. Trust me if my ex had it her way her and her husband would shut me out completely and go on acting as if the kids are theirs, so understand what's going on before you speak out of turn. I'm asking a simple question because this was something we were planning way before the new court order. Unlike most Dads these days I’m trying to do the right thing and fight to make sure my kids are in my life and my families!

As for the other responses, I appreciate it! Unfortunately it sounds like I'm going to have to once again hire an attorney in order to be able to do something as simple as be able to see my kids without financially being drug in a hole!

So, consider it done!