Out of state visitation

[Jbslc]

My wife and I just recently moved to Utah from California. We had to take my wife’s first child’s father to court to get permission to leave the state. We went to see a court evaluator who interviewed my wife her son and the father including grandparents. Based of the recommendation from evaluator we were approved but the visitation is crazy. We have to travel back to California once per month (11) times a year to give the father a weekend visitation. And the father gets 9 weeks in the summer.

now that we are in Utah can we hire a lawyer here and take this to the Utah courts? Or do. We have to travel back to California? I think the visitation schedule is having an impact on the child he is only 5 and all that back and forth travel plus the amount of money we spend in travel with no help form father Sucks. I was thinking about hiring a child psychologist to look into our visitation travel requirements and the amount of time he will spend away from his siblings and mother and take that to the court. Thoughts and feedback is greatly appreciated.

 

[LdiJ]

My wife and I just recently moved to Utah from California. We had to take my wife’s first child’s father to court to get permission to leave the state. We went to see a court evaluator who interviewed my wife her son and the father including grandparents. Based of the recommendation from evaluator we were approved but the visitation is crazy. We have to travel back to California once per month (11) times a year to give the father a weekend visitation. And the father gets 9 weeks in the summer.

now that we are in Utah can we hire a lawyer here and take this to the Utah courts? Or do. We have to travel back to California? I think the visitation schedule is having an impact on the child he is only 5 and all that back and forth travel plus the amount of money we spend in travel with no help form father Sucks. I was thinking about hiring a child psychologist to look into our visitation travel requirements and the amount of time he will spend away from his siblings and mother and take that to the court. Thoughts and feedback is greatly appreciated.

You cannot go to court in Utah. California has jurisdiction and will retain jurisdiction. The odds of a court revisiting the visitation schedule at this point are slim to none. If your wife hadn't agreed to the schedule recommended, and hadn't agreed to cover the transportation for visitation, then your wife would not have received permission to relocate the child.

 

[stealth2]

My wife and I just recently moved to Utah from California. We had to take my wife’s first child’s father to court to get permission to leave the state. We went to see a court evaluator who interviewed my wife her son and the father including grandparents. Based of the recommendation from evaluator we were approved but the visitation is crazy. We have to travel back to California once per month (11) times a year to give the father a weekend visitation. And the father gets 9 weeks in the summer.

now that we are in Utah can we hire a lawyer here and take this to the Utah courts? Or do. We have to travel back to California? I think the visitation schedule is having an impact on the child he is only 5 and all that back and forth travel plus the amount of money we spend in travel with no help form father Sucks. I was thinking about hiring a child psychologist to look into our visitation travel requirements and the amount of time he will spend away from his siblings and mother and take that to the court. Thoughts and feedback is greatly appreciated.

Huh. Why do you consider that amount of parenting time excessive/"crazy"? What would you consider "adequate" for a child to spend with his parent? If Mom (Mom - not you alone or you as a pseudo-parent) were afforded that amount of time, would SHE consider it "crazy" or excessive? Because she presumably understands that she could easily have found herself in Dad's shoes in terms of parenting time.


YOU are under no obligation to travel back to CA monthly. Heck - Mom isn't even required to do so. At 5, most airlines will allow a child to fly unaccompanied, as long as the flight is non-stop. That's an option, assuming there are no unspecified issues with the child (i.e. medical...)

Seriously, you need to step back and let Mom deal with her parenting/co-parenting relationship herself. But don't count on Dad getting less time than he already does.

 

[livinmybestlife]

In addition to this, your wife created the distance and should be responsible for the costs of transportation. Why should Dad have to foot any part of the bill because of a choice you and your wife made?

 

[Ohiogal]

My wife and I just recently moved to Utah from California. We had to take my wife’s first child’s father to court to get permission to leave the state.

YOU didn't do anything. Your wife did. You are not a party to that case.

We went to see a court evaluator who interviewed my wife her son and the father including grandparents. Based of the recommendation from evaluator we were approved but the visitation is crazy. We have to travel back to California once per month (11) times a year to give the father a weekend visitation. And the father gets 9 weeks in the summer.

That is not crazy. That is the result of Mom deciding to take the child away from dad for the majority of the year.

now that we are in Utah can we hire a lawyer here and take this to the Utah courts? Or do. We have to travel back to California?

California has jurisdiction. YOU are not a party. You may foot the bill but that doesn't mean you get a say so.

I think the visitation schedule is having an impact on the child he is only 5 and all that back and forth travel plus the amount of money we spend in travel with no help form father Sucks.

How do you think Dad feels with his child having been relocated to another state?

I was thinking about hiring a child psychologist to look into our visitation travel requirements and the amount of time he will spend away from his siblings and mother and take that to the court. Thoughts and feedback is greatly appreciated.

It is not your visitation travel requirement. How do you think it affects the child being away from his father? Or do you think you are a replacement for him?

Mom could have decided to leave the child with Dad and moved with you.

 

[livinmybestlife]

If you are unhappy with the choices that you made that put you in this situation, then you could move back to California so your step son can have regular and consistent parenting time with both parents and with much less financial cost to your wife.

 

[stealth2]

all that back and forth travel plus the amount of money we spend in travel with no help form father Sucks.

Well.... why should Dad have to pay for your wife's choices?

 

[Just Blue]

My wife and I just recently moved to Utah from California. We had to take my wife’s first child’s father to court to get permission to leave the state. We went to see a court evaluator who interviewed my wife her son and the father including grandparents. Based of the recommendation from evaluator we were approved but the visitation is crazy. We have to travel back to California once per month (11) times a year to give the father a weekend visitation. And the father gets 9 weeks in the summer.

now that we are in Utah can we hire a lawyer here and take this to the Utah courts? Or do. We have to travel back to California? I think the visitation schedule is having an impact on the child he is only 5 and all that back and forth travel plus the amount of money we spend in travel with no help form father Sucks. I was thinking about hiring a child psychologist to look into our visitation travel requirements and the amount of time he will spend away from his siblings and mother and take that to the court. Thoughts and feedback is greatly appreciated.

Aren't you just a ...charmer. If mom is so taxed by this new order she can give primary custody to dad. She will still be responsible for travel cost as she created the distance...but she can limit the amount of time she sees her child if she chooses. In no way will UTAH get jurisdiction of this case.

If this schedule is having an impact on the child that is your wifes fault for moving to UTAH.

 

[NoKids4Me]

I was thinking about hiring a child psychologist to look into our visitation travel requirements and the amount of time he will spend away from his siblings and mother and take that to the court.

Did you hire a child psychologist to look into the amount of time he is spending away from his father before you made that move? You're not fooling anyone - it's clear that your concern is for your wallet and not the child's well being.

 

[Zigner]

Did you hire a child psychologist to look into the amount of time he is spending away from his father before you made that move? You're not fooling anyone - it's clear that your concern is for your wallet and not the child's well being.

Very astute...
Quite frankly, I'm of the opinion that this was "the plan" all along...move out of state, then have jurisdiction transferred. OP and mom are doing their damnedest to get dad out of the picture here.

 

[Just Blue]

Very astute...
Quite frankly, I'm of the opinion that this was "the plan" all along...move out of state, then have jurisdiction transferred. OP and mom are doing their damnedest to get dad out of the picture here.

I agree. OP and his wife should seek psychiatric help....trying to come between a 5 year olds relationship with his father is rather a sick thing to do.

 

[Just Blue]

Did you hire a child psychologist to look into the amount of time he is spending away from his father before you made that move? You're not fooling anyone - it's clear that your concern is for your wallet and not the child's well being.

This really is an excellent point.

 

[livinmybestlife]

I agree. OP and his wife should seek psychiatric help....trying to come between a 5 year olds relationship with his father is rather a sick thing to do.

Especially when its clear the father objected to the move and wants to be involved with the child. Otherwise they would not have had to "take him to court" for permission to move or had a court evaluator interview them and extended family. It's not as though this is a Dad who is absent from his child's life by his own choice.

 

[LdiJ]

Very astute...
Quite frankly, I'm of the opinion that this was "the plan" all along...move out of state, then have jurisdiction transferred. OP and mom are doing their damnedest to get dad out of the picture here.

That's maybe taking it a little far. Lots of times these relocations are for new or better jobs, job transfers etc. The distance from CA to Utah is pretty far for weekends to be included. It looks to me like its anywhere between 500 miles and 1000 miles. Its way too far to drive for a weekend and once a month gets pretty expensive for flights (if there even are direct ones available so the child can fly as an unaccompanied minor). I think that there are very few of us that would have ever considered putting our children on a plane as an unaccompanied minor.

I do think that stepdad is being totally unrealistic about things but it may be unfair to paint he and mom as nefarious plotters.

 

[Zigner]

That's maybe taking it a little far. Lots of times these relocations are for new or better jobs, job transfers etc. The distance from CA to Utah is pretty far for weekends to be included. It looks to me like its anywhere between 500 miles and 1000 miles. Its way too far to drive for a weekend and once a month gets pretty expensive for flights (if there even are direct ones available so the child can fly as an unaccompanied minor). I think that there are very few of us that would have ever considered putting our children on a plane as an unaccompanied minor.

I do think that stepdad is being totally unrealistic about things but it may be unfair to paint he and mom as nefarious plotters.

I understand that you believe that this (or any) mom would never plot such a thing.