out-of-state visits

[bobandjess99]

My husband is the NC parent, who has extensive visitation. We had the children for the Thanksgiving holiday this year, but our plans were thwarted by the ex yet again. The custody agreement says we have to ask permission to take the children oiut-of-state (we live in the "tri-state" area of Michigan/Ohio/Indiana, therefore, this is really hard to deal with, since,we can be in MI in 10 minutes, and Ohio in an hour. We live in Indiana.) We actually have taken the children oiut of state, technically, many times, and never asked permission, since, for example, the boys cub scout pack meets in MI, and their (biological) aunt lives in Ohio. However, we planned to take the boys to MY parents (who live about 5 miles into Ohio) for a family thanksgiving, and the ex pulls out this clause and says she refuses to give permission for us to go to Ohio. Furthermore, she said she will ALWAYS refuse permission for us to go to Ohio to visit MY family. (She hates me, blames me for "stealing" her husband, lots of bitterness,etc). Is there any way we can appeal to a judge to get permission to take the boys to their step-grandparents house?? How would we do this?? The children are very young, 4, 5 and 8 and have known me for 2 years now, I've been married to their father for a year, and they have accepted and love me, and my family adores them - I do not see how it could be "in the best interests of the children" that they be denied participation in a loving, extended family. Also, the ex has refused to relinquish the children to anyone other than their father. Our legal research has led us to believe that the non-custodial parent does have the right to choose someone other than himself to pick up the children for him during his scheduled visitation times, and that his ex may not refuse to give the children to the designated person. (unless there is suspected abuse/fear for the safety of the children while under the care of that particular designee, etc, which is not the case) Is this true? Or is our research erroneoius? If true, do we have to go to court about this too?? Sorry so long. Thanks Jess

 

[yim-yim]

I don't know about you picking up the children. Unfortunatly my children's step-mom is just plain crazy so I won't allow her to pick them up but it is specifically stated in my custody agreement that the Father is to pick the children up. If she ever came to do so, I wouldn't release the children.

But as for your holiday/mobility dilema. Petition to have it changed to a "radius" instead of state lines. I did this for moving purposes and had no problem. I simply pointed out that I wanted to move 10 miles across state lines and that this was an hour drive, however I could "legally" move 6 hours away to the other SIDE of the state. I was given a 150 mile radius. That should solve your problems.
Good luck.