parent alienation

[onmytime]

What is the name of your state? AZ

My child's father is seeking joint physical custody stating parent alienation, claiming I won't let him see our son outside of the court order (which is not true). I have a number of occassions documented that he requested to see our son and spent time with him. Our child has been dressed and ready to go each and everytime he was to get him. It was him that failed to show up a number of occassions and didn't call.

My problem is I'm really the one suffering from his alienation tatics. He tells our son that his wife is our son's mother. He does this in my face and in front of my daughter. He has also sent me text messages stating I'm stupid, worthless and I'm only good for sex. My daughter read the message first because she was using my phone at the time. His behavior is truly upsetting my daughter.

He also calls repeatedly (18 times in a row or nonstop until he gets a hold of me). An example of that would be my family was celebrating my daugther's birthday opening gifts and having dinner. When I finally spoke with him he wanted to know what I was doing and why didn't I answer right away. Sounds stupid, is stupid but how do I explain to a judge how controlling he is?

Also I think our case is probably going to end up involving cusotdy evaluators. What should I be prepared for, how do they operate and what should I tell them?

 

[casa]

What is the name of your state? AZ

My child's father is seeking joint physical custody stating parent alienation, claiming I won't let him see our son outside of the court order (which is not true). I have a number of occassions documented that he requested to see our son and spent time with him. Our child has been dressed and ready to go each and everytime he was to get him. It was him that failed to show up a number of occassions and didn't call.

My problem is I'm really the one suffering from his alienation tatics. He tells our son that his wife is our son's mother. He does this in my face and in front of my daughter. He has also sent me text messages stating I'm stupid, worthless and I'm only good for sex. My daughter read the message first because she was using my phone at the time. His behavior is truly upsetting my daughter.

He also calls repeatedly (18 times in a row or nonstop until he gets a hold of me). An example of that would be my family was celebrating my daugther's birthday opening gifts and having dinner. When I finally spoke with him he wanted to know what I was doing and why didn't I answer right away. Sounds stupid, is stupid but how do I explain to a judge how controlling he is?

Also I think our case is probably going to end up involving cusotdy evaluators. What should I be prepared for, how do they operate and what should I tell them?

You are under NO legal obligation to provide ANY visitation outside the court order....However, it's nice that you do.

www.deltabravo.net is an excellent resource re; different aspects of custody/visitation and evaluations.

Save all the texts, voice mails & answering machine messages he leaves...you need that documentation IF you go to court.

 

[LdiJ]

I agree with Casa. If he attempts to rationalize parental alienation in court based on the fact that he isn't getting more time than the agreement calls for, the judge is likely to laugh him out of court. On top of that, it sounds like he is the only one practising any parental alienation.

 

[onmytime]

Thank you for your responses. I am such a nervous wreck. He is so controlling. Do you think a judge takes any of that into account. Or does his behavior not matter as long as it is not affecting our child. He doesn't care about my daughter (obviously)

 

[tntitangirl]

tell ex to mhob

next time he asks what youre doing and why you didnt answer the phone right away, tell him YOU have a life too, and cant spend all day talking on the phone. then hang up. he will get the message(hopefully)

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

next time he asks what youre doing and why you didnt answer the phone right away, tell him YOU have a life too, and cant spend all day talking on the phone. then hang up. he will get the message(hopefully)

Is that kind of like being banned 70 or so times from a forum and getting the message Kelly?

 

[LdiJ]

Thank you for your responses. I am such a nervous wreck. He is so controlling. Do you think a judge takes any of that into account. Or does his behavior not matter as long as it is not affecting our child. He doesn't care about my daughter (obviously)

I think that you should consider asking for a GAL (guardian ad litem) for your child. They are usually pretty good at sensing who is being cooperative and who isn't....who is being controlling and who isn't.

I also think that you should consider counseling for your child. Not only will that help the child cope with dad's controlling nature, but it would also give you a valuable witness to some of the alienating things that dad is doing. Calling his wife the child's mother is a SERIOUS no no...you need to get that in front of the court.

You also should start saving his text messages, emails, and any voicemail messages that he leaves.

 

[tntitangirl]

what if it was you in this poster's position shay parie?

Is that kind of like being banned 70 or so times from a forum and getting the message Kelly?

how would YOU feel if it was YOUR ex trying to monitor your every move? im pretty sure it would annoy the hell out of you too. i know it would annoy the hell out of me, id tell him to butt out real quick