parental Responsibilites in joint legal custody

[Andrea27]

My ex-husband and I have joint legal custody of our 3 year old son. I have physical placement, but my son spends 8 hours a day with his father and alternate weekends.

My question is this: What are the legal responsibilities of the parents to share information about our child with each other in terms of what he has eaten, if he is sick, if he has doctors appointments, what groups he may be involved in etc. The problem I am having is when I ask my ex these questions he tells me it is none of my business and I feel it puts my son at risk in that there may be something going on with him physically and I would never know as I do not know what he is eating, how much he is sleeping etc. As well, we are suppose to be discussing preschool and activities and my ex has shut me down on this topic as well in that he does not want our son in any activities so therefore (as I cannot do this without his agreement) he is not involved in anything (again, as far as I know???) My ex has our son for eight hours during the day.

My other question is: What are my options, legally, to get him to share this information with me and to agree to discuss our son's activities? Please email me if possible.

Thank you
Andrea Baas

 

[Grandma B]

Didn't the court require you to attend any kind of parenting classes and to have a parenting plan before dissolving your marriage? Does your decree address parenting at all?

 

[Andrea27]

Response to Grandma B

Grandma B,

Wisconsin required us to attend a class about the effects of divorce on children and they were very clear that what is now happening should not be happening. My ex was even commenting about how he would never do that, but he is mentally ill and unreasonable. He tends to forget what is not serving his anger. We also had to present a parenting plan to the court, but I have not seen his, nor was I allowed to see his. There was no mediation because his attorney was more interested in how much money he could get and was pushing for court, while my attorney was just simply not very good and I was uninformed and emotional. I am now finding out there may have been a lot more I could have done. Unfortunately it is a done deal at this point. The judge will not review anything until at least April. The social worker and GAL asked that I have veto power on the issue of school, but the judge decided that would cause more conflict. What I am trying to find out is, what are the legalities so I have something behind my statements to him that will force his hand as he does not want to go back to court.

Thanks again for your imput!

Andrea

 

[smh33]

Read your custody order, usually it will list in some way what issues are considered shared legal responsibility...ie..school,medical,etc...and if u 2 cannot agree who will have final say or how you should resolve...ie,court,mediation,etc...
Stop asking your ex the questions, he shuts you down because your questions indicate you do not trust, or feel he is capable...
Write ex a letter, state what you feel you should be informed of and leave it at that...give him chance to supply info. Supply to him info as you want supplied to you...do not demand he talk preschool, etc....request if you 2 can get together & touch on subject,etc...many times how you approach the issue directly affects how the respondant will act.....