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Parenting schedule post dissolution modification

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What is the name of your state? Ohio

I was divorced 5 years ago, I have two children 7 and 9. In the current shared parenting plan I got every other weekend and one evening mid week. For the last 2-3 years I've actually been getting my kids a little more than 50-50, which I have documented in a spreadsheet, backed up by our email correspondence. It took the first few years to build up to this level, and I had to constant find ways to get them extra time, so that it became 'normal' for their mom. For the most part their mom and I get along reasonably well. I would like to modify the schedule officially to reflect what it has been the last few years. I have asked their mom, but she said she doesn't want to do that. So I have hired a lawyer to pursue this further, though she isn't aware of this yet.

I'm wondering what will the next steps be? The lawyer has had me fill out a financial disclosure form (DR1) and information for parenting proceeding affidavit (DR4) and I'm going to take them to him in a few days to move forward. But I want to make sure I'm prepared and aware of all my options and what will happen next. So I can manage my lawyer and make sure things move along smoothly and quickly. How and when will their mom be notified of this action?

Can someone please kindly explain the next steps, is there any kind of flow chart out there to go over everything? What are the expected timelines? Also, what are my chances of success? For what it's worth, their mom doesn't ever do their reading/homework, and we have to catch up every week, plus do the current weeks homework. Both are significantly behind at school, oldest is on an IEP and is at the end of 4th grade and still reads at a 1st grade level, our youngest is going to be tested for that next grade (his teachers gave him the option to repeat 1st grade). I have all this documented.

I'm not interested in modifying CS, though that is a substantial amount per month, I just want to make sure I have peace of mind that she won't decide to reduce my time with my children in the future, like I strongly suspect she may, when life is more convenient for her to parent them more.
 
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LdiJ

Senior Member
What is the name of your state? Ohio

I was divorced 5 years ago, I have two children 7 and 9. In the current shared parenting plan I got every other weekend and one evening mid week. For the last 2-3 years I've actually been getting my kids a little more than 50-50, which I have documented in a spreadsheet, backed up by our email correspondence. It took the first few years to build up to this level, and I had to constant find ways to get them extra time, so that it became 'normal' for their mom. For the most part their mom and I get along reasonably well. I would like to modify the schedule officially to reflect what it has been the last few years. I have asked their mom, but she said she doesn't want to do that. So I have hired a lawyer to pursue this further, though she isn't aware of this yet.

I'm wondering what will the next steps be? The lawyer has had me fill out a financial disclosure form (DR1) and information for parenting proceeding affidavit (DR4) and I'm going to take them to him in a few days to move forward. But I want to make sure I'm prepared and aware of all my options and what will happen next. So I can manage my lawyer and make sure things move along smoothly and quickly. How and when will their mom be notified of this action?

Can someone please kindly explain the next steps, is there any kind of flow chart out there to go over everything? What are the expected timelines? Also, what are my chances of success? For what it's worth, their mom doesn't ever do their reading/homework, and we have to catch up every week, plus do the current weeks homework. Both are significantly behind at school, oldest is on an IEP and is at the end of 4th grade and still reads at a 1st grade level, our youngest is going to be tested for that next grade (his teachers gave him the option to repeat 1st grade). I have all this documented.

I'm not interested in modifying CS, though that is a substantial amount per month, I just want to make sure I have peace of mind that she won't decide to reduce my time with my children in the future, like I strongly suspect she may, when life is more convenient for her to parent them more.
I will be honest, once you serve mom with the paperwork for your suit, mom will stop giving you the extra time and you will be back to seeing your children every other weekend and one evening a week. That doesn't mean that you won't eventually end up with 50/50 but it does mean that for a few months maybe even up to a year, you won't have that.
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
What is the name of your state? Ohio

I was divorced 5 years ago, I have two children 7 and 9. In the current shared parenting plan I got every other weekend and one evening mid week. For the last 2-3 years I've actually been getting my kids a little more than 50-50, which I have documented in a spreadsheet, backed up by our email correspondence. It took the first few years to build up to this level, and I had to constant find ways to get them extra time, so that it became 'normal' for their mom. For the most part their mom and I get along reasonably well. I would like to modify the schedule officially to reflect what it has been the last few years. I have asked their mom, but she said she doesn't want to do that. So I have hired a lawyer to pursue this further, though she isn't aware of this yet.

I'm wondering what will the next steps be? The lawyer has had me fill out a financial disclosure form (DR1) and information for parenting proceeding affidavit (DR4) and I'm going to take them to him in a few days to move forward. But I want to make sure I'm prepared and aware of all my options and what will happen next. So I can manage my lawyer and make sure things move along smoothly and quickly. How and when will their mom be notified of this action?

Can someone please kindly explain the next steps, is there any kind of flow chart out there to go over everything? What are the expected timelines? Also, what are my chances of success? For what it's worth, their mom doesn't ever do their reading/homework, and we have to catch up every week, plus do the current weeks homework. Both are significantly behind at school, oldest is on an IEP and is at the end of 4th grade and still reads at a 1st grade level, our youngest is going to be tested for that next grade (his teachers gave him the option to repeat 1st grade). I have all this documented.

I'm not interested in modifying CS, though that is a substantial amount per month, I just want to make sure I have peace of mind that she won't decide to reduce my time with my children in the future, like I strongly suspect she may, when life is more convenient for her to parent them more.
We have an attorney/GAL from Ohio that volunteers...I'll send her a p.m. asking to assist you. What county is the case in?
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
I will be honest, once you serve mom with the paperwork for your suit, mom will stop giving you the extra time and you will be back to seeing your children every other weekend and one evening a week. That doesn't mean that you won't eventually end up with 50/50 but it does mean that for a few months maybe even up to a year, you won't have that.
It's so curious to me why you insist on posting to an Ohio custody thread when you know nothing about it...as it's been proven time and time again. We are lucky that FreeAdvice has a Ohio Attorney/GAL.
 
We have an attorney/GAL from Ohio that volunteers...I'll send her a p.m. asking to assist you. What county is the case in?
Warren county, thanks for sending the pm!

back to seeing your children every other weekend and one evening a week.
That is a huge fear of mine. However, I strongly believe in a few years, when her 2 other younger children reach school age, and she completes the degree she's doing (she's voluntarily not working to do this), that she will try to take it back to that anyway. She never wanted to give this time away to me, but it was more because she finds it convenient to do so right now. If that does happen, is there anything I can do about it? Either way I'm still mostly hoping to get answers to my OP questions, if possible.
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
Warren county, thanks for sending the pm!



That is a huge fear of mine. However, I strongly believe in a few years, when her 2 other younger children reach school age, and she completes the degree she's doing (she's voluntarily not working to do this), that she will try to take it back to that anyway. She never wanted to give this time away to me, but it was more because she finds it convenient to do so right now. If that does happen, is there anything I can do about it? Either way I'm still mostly hoping to get answers to my OP questions, if possible.
OhioGAL should be by in the morning to answer your questions.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Warren county, thanks for sending the pm!



That is a huge fear of mine. However, I strongly believe in a few years, when her 2 other younger children reach school age, and she completes the degree she's doing (she's voluntarily not working to do this), that she will try to take it back to that anyway. She never wanted to give this time away to me, but it was more because she finds it convenient to do so right now. If that does happen, is there anything I can do about it? Either way I'm still mostly hoping to get answers to my OP questions, if possible.
If you think that she eventually plans to do that anyway, why not just wait until you get to that point to rock the boat? The current schedule will be more and more status quo as time passes, and your odds of prevailing would be about a slam dunk by then. You are also going to create a hostile relationship between the two of you, when you say that you get along pretty well right now.

In any case, the kinds of questions you are asking are better directed to your attorney. Your local attorney knows the procedures and normal time lines for your local courts. Mom, however, will get served very early in the process, because nothing can proceed until she is served.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Ignore LDIJ. She is ignorant of Ohio law and knows nothing about it. She is also extremely biased towards mothers and will say whatever she believes will benefit the mom.
I am an Ohio attorney GAL. Ld is a self proclaimed tax expert even though she does not have a CPA and has been corrected on tax threads many times.

If mother suddenly pulls your time, the courts will NOT be happy with her and would hold it against her. The Supreme Court guidelines on this type of case is 9 months from start to finish. Review your shared parenting plan and see if mediation is a requirement prior to a court hearing. In many plans that is a pre-requisite.

Here are the local rules for you to read and use to educate yourself: http://www.co.warren.oh.us/domestic_relations_court/local_rules.pdf
You can expect that if this is contested, a GAL will be appointed to determine what is in the best interest of the children. You and mother will be responsible for splitting the cost of the GAL.

Also rule 5.2:
5.2 Mediation.
A. Mediation Order.
At any time after service of summons in any action for divorce, legal separation or annulment, or at any time after the filing of a post-decree motion, the Court may order both parties into mediation in accordance with O.R.C. 3109.052. Mediation may be provided by a Court employed mediator. That Court employed mediator may not sit as a Magistrate on that case. All private mediators must be approved by the Court as set forth below.


You need to provide your attorney with as much information as possible regarding your involvement with the children and how said involvement has changed since the shared parenting plan was originally ordered. You also need to be 100% honest with your attorney. If you are remarried or dating, your SO should be left out of the conversation with the attorney as that can harm attorney client privilege as your SO is not the attorney's client. Your SO should also not be considered a positive to any changes. SO can only harm your hearings and very seldom help.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
If you think that she eventually plans to do that anyway, why not just wait until you get to that point to rock the boat? The current schedule will be more and more status quo as time passes, and your odds of prevailing would be about a slam dunk by then. You are also going to create a hostile relationship between the two of you, when you say that you get along pretty well right now.

In any case, the kinds of questions you are asking are better directed to your attorney. Your local attorney knows the procedures and normal time lines for your local courts. Mom, however, will get served very early in the process, because nothing can proceed until she is served.
LD SHUT UP. NOW. Stay off of Ohio threads. You are so ignorant to Ohio law and Ohio way of doing things and in all the years you have been here, you have never done a dang thing to educate yourself about anything dealing with the law. You just keep repeating the same tripe about how mom is right and dad should not rock the boat and just deal with things. QUIT IT.
 
Thank you so much OhioGal! I very much appreciate it! I will definitely read the local rules soon (I still have my kids right now, so when they go to bed tonight or back to their moms tomorrow, I'll get to it).

I forgot to mention I am also wanting to change residential for schooling, as it's the mom right now. I want to change this as I'm the one who's much more involved in their schooling. Their mom recently moved them out of the previous school district and I want to move into the one she's in now so that I can stop her taking the kids out again in future. I'm signing a lease on a new place tomorrow. It's literally around the corner from the school. Does that change the process of any of what you said above?

Also, when will their mom find out when I'm doing? Will the court write to her or will it be from a letter from my lawyer? He only initially said he was going to send the forms I'm prepping straight to the court.

Also, how does mediation work? Is that like one (or more?) sessions sat in a room at the court house the 3 of us together to talk things out? Will our lawyers be present? I know nothing about this, sorry. I do remember reading something in my paper work about mediation, but I'll go back and read that again to be sure. Will at this point she have a chance to say she is happy with the change? I have a strong feeling that when it comes to her requiring to spend any kind of significant money she will back down, as I know she's broke.

So if she does withhold time in the next 9 months or so, is there anything temporary order I can file? When you say the court will hold it against her, does that mean she'll lose more than 50-50? Or how else would it be held against her?
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Thank you so much OhioGal! I very much appreciate it! I will definitely read the local rules soon (I still have my kids right now, so when they go to bed tonight or back to their moms tomorrow, I'll get to it).

I forgot to mention I am also wanting to change residential for schooling, as it's the mom right now. I want to change this as I'm the one who's much more involved in their schooling. Their mom recently moved them out of the previous school district and I want to move into the one she's in now so that I can stop her taking the kids out again in future. I'm signing a lease on a new place tomorrow. It's literally around the corner from the school. Does that change the process of any of what you said above?

Also, when will their mom find out when I'm doing? Will the court write to her or will it be from a letter from my lawyer? He only initially said he was going to send the forms I'm prepping straight to the court.

Also, how does mediation work? Is that like one (or more?) sessions sat in a room at the court house the 3 of us together to talk things out? Will our lawyers be present? I know nothing about this, sorry. I do remember reading something in my paper work about mediation, but I'll go back and read that again to be sure. Will at this point she have a chance to say she is happy with the change? I have a strong feeling that when it comes to her requiring to spend any kind of significant money she will back down, as I know she's broke.

So if she does withhold time in the next 9 months or so, is there anything temporary order I can file? When you say the court will hold it against her, does that mean she'll lose more than 50-50? Or how else would it be held against her?
Residential for schooling? You need to have a good reason to change that. How much more involved are you? What evidence do you have of that involvement? Did mom file a notice of relocation as required under 3109.051(G) when she moved?

Your lawyer will have her properly served a copy of the motion to modify and all relevant documents.

Lawyers are not normally present for mediation. It would be you and her in a room with a trained mediator to try to work things out. It could be more than one session depending. Your attorney can file a motion for temporary changes to reflect the status quo. Courts do not like it when parents unilaterally change things without a reason - such as you were arrested or there was a cpo against you or something would be a good a reason. You filing for a modification based upon the increase of time is not a good reason.
 
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