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Parenting schedule post dissolution modification

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I do 100% of their homework and reading logs (for my week and I have to catch up for her weeks). Her teachers have said they understand that she's 'too busy' when it's late from her weeks. Their mom has admitted over email that she's too busy and she even said "it's on them to get it done" referring to the kids. It's been like that this entire school year. I have pictures I took of the reading logs which only show my initials on there and not a single one from her all this school year. When she relocated she did not file anything with the court. At least I did not receive anything to say that she did. This was actually the second time she moved district, the first time neither child was in school back then, so it wasn't a problem with moving schools. But she never filed then either. I moved too (closer to the kids), but I did let the court know and the CSEA know. I'm about to move again to their current school district.

She has also struggled to get the kids to school and has allowed them to miss 13 days last year and I think 6 or 7 so far this year, I'm waiting to get the final report from the school as soon as it's over. Along with several tardy's on top of that- these were significant tardy's of several hours, not just a few minutes. Those were all on her time. The school wrote to her formally about it last year. I've only ever let them have one tardy of a 2-3 minutes because of a road accident. They've had a 2-3 sick days when with me but that was because they had a fever or were throwing up.

Thanks for the other replies! it's very good to know more about the process.
 


Ohiogal

Queen Bee
I do 100% of their homework and reading logs (for my week and I have to catch up for her weeks). Her teachers have said they understand that she's 'too busy' when it's late from her weeks. Their mom has admitted over email that she's too busy and she even said "it's on them to get it done" referring to the kids. It's been like that this entire school year. I have pictures I took of the reading logs which only show my initials on there and not a single one from her all this school year. When she relocated she did not file anything with the court. At least I did not receive anything to say that she did. This was actually the second time she moved district, the first time neither child was in school back then, so it wasn't a problem with moving schools. But she never filed then either. I moved too (closer to the kids), but I did let the court know and the CSEA know. I'm about to move again to their current school district.

She has also struggled to get the kids to school and has allowed them to miss 13 days last year and I think 6 or 7 so far this year, I'm waiting to get the final report from the school as soon as it's over. Along with several tardy's on top of that- these were significant tardy's of several hours, not just a few minutes. Those were all on her time. The school wrote to her formally about it last year. I've only ever let them have one tardy of a 2-3 minutes because of a road accident. They've had a 2-3 sick days when with me but that was because they had a fever or were throwing up.

Thanks for the other replies! it's very good to know more about the process.
What do you mean you do their homework? How long ago did she move? How far away? Make sure you get attendance records for the children and subpoena the teachers.
 
I get the kids to sit down with me, and I help them do their homework with them and make sure they get it all done. They always arrive on Sunday with their previous weeks homework not even started, so we spend the next few evenings catching up on that. Then we spend the next few evenings doing the current week. I also get their books out to read and let them read to me, and update the reading logs as such.

She moved to the first place (lets call it place B) in 2014 and 7 miles from her original address (place A). The 2nd time she moved to (place C) was in mid 2017 and that was 11 miles from B, but 22miles from A. I have the attendance records from last year and will get them for this year also. How do I subpena the teachers?

Will these things be enough to become residential parent? How strong of a case do I have to get this? If she gives in to all this will mediation even be required?
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
I get the kids to sit down with me, and I help them do their homework with them and make sure they get it all done. They always arrive on Sunday with their previous weeks homework not even started, so we spend the next few evenings catching up on that. Then we spend the next few evenings doing the current week. I also get their books out to read and let them read to me, and update the reading logs as such.

She moved to the first place (lets call it place B) in 2014 and 7 miles from her original address (place A). The 2nd time she moved to (place C) was in mid 2017 and that was 11 miles from B, but 22miles from A. I have the attendance records from last year and will get them for this year also. How do I subpena the teachers?

Will these things be enough to become residential parent? How strong of a case do I have to get this? If she gives in to all this will mediation even be required?
Your attorney will know how to subpoena the teachers for the proper hearing.
 
ok thanks.

Once she sees that I'm starting this, can she request that she just agrees to it all so mediation etc doesn't need to take place? As I feel that she is going to just give in quickly due to her limited funds, and also as she has too many other things going on etc. I think the only reason she didn't agree to this upfront is because she likes to have the power to hold over my head, and she's probably worried about losing out on child support.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
ok thanks.

Once she sees that I'm starting this, can she request that she just agrees to it all so mediation etc doesn't need to take place? As I feel that she is going to just give in quickly due to her limited funds, and also as she has too many other things going on etc. I think the only reason she didn't agree to this upfront is because she likes to have the power to hold over my head, and she's probably worried about losing out on child support.
She could agree.
 
I'm sorry if I wasn't clear enough. I know she could agree, what I'm asking is, what is the process if she does agree? Is mediation etc still required?
 

t74

Member
What is the name of your state? Ohio

I was divorced 5 years ago, I have two children 7 and 9. In the current shared parenting plan I got every other weekend and one evening mid week. For the last 2-3 years I've actually been getting my kids a little more than 50-50, which I have documented in a spreadsheet, backed up by our email correspondence. It took the first few years to build up to this level, and I had to constant find ways to get them extra time, so that it became 'normal' for their mom. For the most part their mom and I get along reasonably well. I would like to modify the schedule officially to reflect what it has been the last few years. I have asked their mom, but she said she doesn't want to do that. So I have hired a lawyer to pursue this further, though she isn't aware of this yet.

.... So I can manage my lawyer and make sure things move along smoothly and quickly. How and when will their mom be notified of this action?
These statements concern me. You sound sneaky in obtaining more than the ordered visitation

Why do you think "managing" your attorney is the right approach?

It appears that your children may not be receiving the attention from mom that they receive from you. It sounds like mom has other younger children who will definitely require more of her time. The question is this rising to the standard of neglecting them.

I am concerned that she does not sound like she is supporting them financially.

I believe you need an objective, professional opinion by a psychologist who specializes in child custody issues.
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
These statements concern me. You sound sneaky in obtaining more than the ordered visitation

Why do you think "managing" your attorney is the right approach?

It appears that your children may not be receiving the attention from mom that they receive from you. It sounds like mom has other younger children who will definitely require more of her time. The question is this rising to the standard of neglecting them.

I am concerned that she does not sound like she is supporting them financially.

I believe you need an objective, professional opinion by a psychologist who specializes in child custody issues.
OhioGAL has advised OP. OhioGAL is a family law attorney in OP's state.
 
I did my best to build up time to see my own children, as I am just as much of their parent as their mom is. I did offer to 'watch' (parent) my own children as I was only seeing them 4 overnights per month at the time, whereas they saw their mom 26. That doesn't strike me as equal co-parent. If that makes me 'sneaky' that I'm happy to be called sneaky. I'm not sure why a Father wanting to see his own children half of the time is something to be of concern. But you're entitled to your opinion.

Also, I greatly appreciate OhioGal's replies, so thanks again. I still might have more questions as things progress.
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
I did my best to build up time to see my own children, as I am just as much of their parent as their mom is. I did offer to 'watch' (parent) my own children as I was only seeing them 4 overnights per month at the time, whereas they saw their mom 26. That doesn't strike me as equal co-parent. If that makes me 'sneaky' that I'm happy to be called sneaky. I'm not sure why a Father wanting to see his own children half of the time is something to be of concern. But you're entitled to your opinion.

Also, I greatly appreciate OhioGal's replies, so thanks again. I still might have more questions as things progress.
Honestly the only member you should "listen" to is OG...And there is nothing wrong with you wanting to have your court order reflect custodial reality.
 

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