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Paternity Help

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msfurman

Member
What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? Held in Virginia Courts & I have live in MD for less than 6 months.

I have a 4 year old child. There has always been a question about paternity but my ex refused to take a test. Threatening me if I forced. He has been to jail for not paying support. Caught up on that amount and is again behind around $15k. I asked the court for paternity test and am waiting. If he is not the father, I do not want visitation continued. Even though i do not have court ordered visits. I have been told that I can be forced to do visitation with him and my son. I am trying to prove that continued visits would not be in my son best interest. He was arrested for child abandonment, placed on a year probation and then the courts dropped it becasue he did not get into trouble during probabtion and doesnt have any other terrible criminal record. He was dismissed from the military for assault/battery either while in the Military or lying about info they found on a criminal check. He has not maintained regular visits with my son. My son does not call him daddy but rather by his first name. I want to establish that there is no father/son bond. He calls my fiance daddy. However, this mans mother wants visitation. A Guardian to the Courts says he will try to get grandparent visitation for her stating that the child has bonded with her in that way. I am the mother dont beleive she has. Basically if "dad" was not maintaining regular visits, how can they say the "grandma" has? She's seen the child less. But now I have moved out of state. Since moving, I allowed contact between them and my son becasue if the test shows he is the father, I did not want to look like I was keeping them apart to the courts or like I was hiding out. But I am scared that by me doing that, they could force visitation if not with the "dad" then with grandma. The other man that could be dad had agreed to take a paternity test but has now "disapeared" in a sense. I think he thought about child support and decided not to take the test. Which is fine with me. Eventually, I wish for my fiance to adopt after were married, but that wontbe for some time. Any advise? If I am able to keep "dad" from having regular visitation, what do I do about them trying to force me to give grandma. Also, "dad" lives with grandma. So by them giving grandma visitation, "dad would have it as well through her.
 


msfurman

Member
"dad" also takes child to see his father over my objections. Open drinking, drugs, my child sleeps on the floor, its unclean and not a safe area or neighborhood. Grandma, whom "dad" lives with, of course has nice rich home and neighborhood but takes my child along with "dad" to go to the grandfathers house for overnight. But she says she doesnt. But my son talks bout it. I dont have the money for a private detective to prove this. Or to prove that "dad" doesnt really live with "grandma" he really lives in the nasty filth of grandpa. So I dont want dad or gma to be able to maintain visits but scared it will happen becasue I dont have the money for a PI to prove
 

VeronicaGia

Senior Member
So you don't even know if this is the father of the child yet you have no problem with him going to jail for non-payment of support? How did you get a court order for support if paternity is still an issue?

If a court ordered DNA test is taken and he is the father, he can certainly get visitation and/or some level of custody. You will be under court order and will have no choice. You may also have to pay for his visitation since you decided to move out of state.
 

Shay-Pari'e

Senior Member
Dad already has court ordered visitation, and now you want a paternety test? I personally won't advocate keeping the child from his dad or Grandma, just because you have a new guy.

What is your game here?
 

msfurman

Member
Dad does not have ANY visitation at all. And I have sole custody. There is no visitation order. When I was prenant and first had the baby, he threatened my life if I forced him to take a paternity test or told his family that it might not be his. He did not want anyone to know. He has family on the police dept and threatened that my life would be "heck", threatened my life. But I could not get a restraining order because he didnt actually try to kill me. I was scared of him and went along with it. Also, my son now that he is older over the past year looks like the other man.
You asked how did I get a support order without a paternity test? I went down to the court, filed for support and it has been in place since. but he doesnt pay it. Hes been in jail before and is behind again at twice the amount.
 

Shay-Pari'e

Senior Member
msfurman said:
Dad does not have ANY visitation at all. And I have sole custody. There is no visitation order. When I was prenant and first had the baby, he threatened my life if I forced him to take a paternity test or told his family that it might not be his. He did not want anyone to know. He has family on the police dept and threatened that my life would be "heck", threatened my life. But I could not get a restraining order because he didnt actually try to kill me. I was scared of him and went along with it. Also, my son now that he is older over the past year looks like the other man.
You asked how did I get a support order without a paternity test? I went down to the court, filed for support and it has been in place since. but he doesnt pay it. Hes been in jail before and is behind again at twice the amount.
I guess I got rather confused reading your multipal posts. So if I have this straight.....

You have allowed visitation.
You ran and got your support order , yet no visitation order.
Now you don't know who's the Daddy,(Because you have another guy) yet let this guy think he is.

What do you want from this forum? Your playing games with everyone. If he is proven to be the father, the court will decide it all for you. Are you prepared to pay back the support if he is not? Are you thinking of anyone but yourself?
 

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