Paternity Test?

[SilverSphinx]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? WI

Over a year ago, my husband was stationed overseas (not deployed,) and before he PCSed, he had an affair with another soldier's wife. The woman went back to her husband, and I eventually took my husband back. The affair was reported to his CO by the other husband, but nothing was made of it. The other woman found out she was pregnant before my husband's return to the States, and she said that no matter whawsht, her husband was going to raise the child. The husband's name was put on the birth certificate and my husband has heard nothing from the woman since he broke things off with her.

While my husband does not want anything to do with her or the child, I want to know the paternity just so I can get some kind of closure. If it is, my suspicions were confirmed. If it is not, I can rest easier at night, and no longer have to live in fear that a few years down the road that this woman will show up on our doorstep and demand child support. I contacted her for the first time, and all I asked was if she was planning on getting a paternity test. Nothing else, I never mentioned anything about my husband, or the affair. She responded that she did, and the results said that it was her husband's child. I however, do not believe her since it was only six months into her pregnancy, and doing a paternity test while pregnant is not only dangerous, for the baby but expensive. To call her bluff, I asked if she could mail me a copy of the test and I will not reimburse her for the cost of the test, as well as pay for postage. She didn’t reply after that. Is there anything I can do? I know I should be grateful for the fact my husband is getting off scot-free about this, but I just want to know so I don’t have to live in limbo anymore.

As a background, both my husband and the other husband are E-4’s while I’m a semester away from graduating with my nursing degree, and commissioning as a 2LT. I am in my home state while my husband is deployed. I currently do not know where the other woman and her husband are, but I am assuming that they are still overseas

 

[Isis1]

look, legal advice. her husband is the legal father of the child regardless. it was born during the marriage. the only way for the husband to withdraw is to file for divorce as soon as the baby is born, and disestablish paternity....

or, YOUR husband files to establish paternity. and there is actual a state that does not allow a third party to file during an intact marriage.

you are not a party to this legal matter. therefore, you need to find your closure elsewhere.

sorry. that's just how it is.

all legal aside....as a woman, you are only going to torture yourself to death with this. you need to leave it alone. if your husband doesn't want to deal with this, that's on him. and THAT alone is the only thing you need closure one.

 

[ecmst12]

The baby WAS born and other woman's husband is on the BC. He is the daddy and your husband is never going to be the daddy, regardless of what the DNA says, unless your HUSBAND were to try to file for paternity (which he has no intention of doing, and after some more time passes, even that won't be possible). Relax and move on with your life and let them move on with theirs....mistakes were made, let it go.