Pay backs

[brokenroad]

What is the name of your state? Arizona


I am a divorced women with one child. My x has been paying child support only for a short time. When we were married we both had affairs, now he is questioning our child's paternity. If in fact he is not her biological father, will I owe him back the child support he has paid for? He knew of the affair before the child was born, and he is listed as her father on the birth certificate.

 

[BRN2005]

PayBacks

I don't know if this is always the case or is the case in all states, but Here is what happened with a friend of mine. His wife openly had an affair (actually was living with) another man while they were still legally married. She became pregnant by the other man. My friend was informed by his attorney that regardless of the paternity, if his wife had a child while they were still married, he was responsible for support, etc.

 

[ceara19]

I don't know if this is always the case or is the case in all states, but Here is what happened with a friend of mine. His wife openly had an affair (actually was living with) another man while they were still legally married. She became pregnant by the other man. My friend was informed by his attorney that regardless of the paternity, if his wife had a child while they were still married, he was responsible for support, etc.

That is irrelevant to the OP's situation. It also doesn't make much sense. If this is what your friend's attorney told him, his lawyer is an idiot. Yes, he would be automatically presumed to be the father (due to the fact that they are married), but all he would have to do is contest the child's paternity once it is born. If the child isn't his, he can be removed as the legal father. He would need to do this ASAP once the child is born though.

Now, back to the OP's question.

How old is the child? Even though he has only been paying support for a short amount of time, if he has been the legal father and has an established relationship with the child for very long, he may not be able to legally challenge paternity.

I t is very unlikely that you would be ordered to reimburse the money if paternity is disestablished.

 

[nextwife]

You chose to go out and have the affair. Don't you think you should be going after the man you chose to have the baby with, instead of the guy you cheated on.

Does he KNOW this is not his child, biologically? If not, doesn't he have the right to be informed - before you collect any more money from him to supprt the child of your lover?

 

[LdiJ]

You chose to go out and have the affair. Don't you think you should be going after the man you chose to have the baby with, instead of the guy you cheated on.

Does he KNOW this is not his child, biologically? If not, doesn't he have the right to be informed - before you collect any more money from him to supprt the child of your lover?

My impression was that they don't know for certain either way.

 

[AHA]

What is the name of your state? Arizona


I am a divorced women with one child. My x has been paying child support only for a short time. When we were married we both had affairs, now he is questioning our child's paternity. If in fact he is not her biological father, will I owe him back the child support he has paid for? He knew of the affair before the child was born, and he is listed as her father on the birth certificate.

Since you both knew there was a huge possibility that hubby wasn't the biodad, you should have done a paternity test after the kid was born, instead of decieving the kid.

 

[NCP Dad in TN]

I'm still curious about what the answer is to the OP's original question... if the child is indeed her lovers and not her ex's, will she have to pay back the support her ex paid for a child that wasn't his to support? SHE SHOULD. But that is opinion talking, not the law... what does the LAW say?

(edit) I am seeing after a second look Ceara's response... wow... that is really unfortunate that NON-biodad would not get his money back... when you hear stories of men who find out they have kids after years and years of not even knowing they existed and they owe back support...

 

[Ohiogal]

I'm still curious about what the answer is to the OP's original question... if the child is indeed her lovers and not her ex's, will she have to pay back the support her ex paid for a child that wasn't his to support? SHE SHOULD. But that is opinion talking, not the law... what does the LAW say?

(edit) I am seeing after a second look Ceara's response... wow... that is really unfortunate that NON-biodad would not get his money back... when you hear stories of men who find out they have kids after years and years of not even knowing they existed and they owe back support...

The dad was not deceived. He could have questioned paternity at the time of the birth because he knew of the affairs. He didn't question then and now it seems the only reason he is questioning is because of the divorce. Neither one of these parties is to be commended. Depending on the age of the child (didn't see it in the original post and my apologies if it was there and I missed it) dad may not be able to question it at this point. However the affair (other possible father) can question.

 

[LdiJ]

I'm still curious about what the answer is to the OP's original question... if the child is indeed her lovers and not her ex's, will she have to pay back the support her ex paid for a child that wasn't his to support? SHE SHOULD. But that is opinion talking, not the law... what does the LAW say?

(edit) I am seeing after a second look Ceara's response... wow... that is really unfortunate that NON-biodad would not get his money back... when you hear stories of men who find out they have kids after years and years of not even knowing they existed and they owe back support...

I have never heard of someone having to pay back child support in that scenario. In fact, as someone else stated, depending on the child's age its quite possible that his legal fatherhood will be kept in place, even if he turns out not to be the biological father.

Think about the child in that scenario. Not only does the child discover that "daddy" is not their biological father, but also that "daddy" doesn't want them anymore. That's a pretty harsh thing to do to a child.

 

[brokenroad]

response to your responses

For all those not being critical, thank you. I didn't come in hear to get attacked, I came for advise. And many of you obviously can't read because I stated that he was aware of the situation. My child is not even a year old, and it is better that we know this now instead of when my child would understand what is going on. Up until the day the divorce was final he was still wanting to get back together and still be a family. This was not a healthy relationship and it did need to end. Then he decided well I don't want to pay support or be the kids father anymore if we aren't together. So he questioned paternity, and I didn't give him a hard time, we went down together, I even paid for it. It did happen to not be his biological child, so he wants to go back to court and have everything changed, plus get his money back. I am not saying he is wrong for wanting this, he has every right to be upset. My question was if he does, will I have to pay him back for the child support he has paid the past few months? Which he wanted to pay by the way he even put it in writing. It wasn't ordered until a week ago, and we know now so it won't even get a chance to be processed before the case is questioned.

 

[Ohiogal]

For all those not being critical, thank you. I didn't come in hear to get attacked, I came for advise. And many of you obviously can't read because I stated that he was aware of the situation. My child is not even a year old, and it is better that we know this now instead of when my child would understand what is going on. Up until the day the divorce was final he was still wanting to get back together and still be a family. This was not a healthy relationship and it did need to end. Then he decided well I don't want to pay support or be the kids father anymore if we aren't together. So he questioned paternity, and I didn't give him a hard time, we went down together, I even paid for it. It did happen to not be his biological child, so he wants to go back to court and have everything changed, plus get his money back. I am not saying he is wrong for wanting this, he has every right to be upset. My question was if he does, will I have to pay him back for the child support he has paid the past few months? Which he wanted to pay by the way he even put it in writing. It wasn't ordered until a week ago, and we know now so it won't even get a chance to be processed before the case is questioned.

You shouldn't have to because he could have questioned paternity at any time. That is legally. Morally -- are you going after bio dad for that period of time? then you definitely SHOULD pay back your ex husband for the actual child support that was paid. Even if not, morally you should return the money to the man.

 

[jpriness73]

Well, it seems as though the op's ex-husband wanted to be a family and claim the child as his own up until the final moment of divorce. HE should have had a DNA test done prior to the divorce. Why should she be required to pay him back when he has claimed the paternity until now that the divorce is final, and she didn't come back to him?

 

[Esmomx3]

Not sure about your state, but in mine if you are married and you get pregnant during the marriage and either separate or divorce, if that baby is born within the marriage or within 300 days after the marriage is terminated it is considered by law to be his child. Even if all parties involved knew paternity was questionable.

I know some states have taken a modern approach and are not using this traditional method, however my state still does.

My friend got stuck paying child support for a child that wasn't his and the judge stated to him and I quote, "He may not look like you, but you will feed him until he does."

Not saying this is right, just saying it can happen depending on your states laws and the judge.

 

[Ohiogal]

Well, it seems as though the op's ex-husband wanted to be a family and claim the child as his own up until the final moment of divorce. HE should have had a DNA test done prior to the divorce. Why should she be required to pay him back when he has claimed the paternity until now that the divorce is final, and she didn't come back to him?

MORALLY she should. Especially if she is going to go after biodad to support the child.

 

[Ohiogal]

Not sure about your state, but in mine if you are married and you get pregnant during the marriage and either separate or divorce, if that baby is born within the marriage or within 300 days after the marriage is terminated it is considered by law to be his child. Even if all parties involved knew paternity was questionable.

I know some states have taken a modern approach and are not using this traditional method, however my state still does.

My friend got stuck paying child support for a child that wasn't his and the judge stated to him and I quote, "He may not look like you, but you will feed him until he does."

Not saying this is right, just saying it can happen depending on your states laws and the judge.

Your state has no relevance to this post so therefore this post was not helpful or did nothing but take up space. Please do not give advice unless it applies to the OPs situation. Your friend's case has nothing to do with it at all and it is possible to be a psychological parent depending on a variety of factors. Again then, don't post if you dont' know the law in the OPs state.