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Paying for girlfriend with no job

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furniture

Junior Member
What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? Virginia

My girlfriend and I have been together for almost five years and have had our ups and downs but I do love her. We rent a modest 3br house together and she has 2 children from previous relationships who we have custody of on weekends. She has been out of work since September (going on 5 months now) and I have been paying the rent and the bills. I make decent money but it is becoming more of a strain financially for me to support. I've tried to nicely get her motivated to get a new job but she hasn't really been hitting the pavement hard. She's been on a few interviews but nothing happened with them. When I was unemployed for even a week in the past I was able to find something to pay the bills - restaurant work, etc.

It's frustrating for me because I love her and because I'm unable to even afford small luxuries for us when 80% of my salary goes to paying the bills. She says that her friends say that I'm the man and should support us - but A) this isn't the 1950s and B) I'm 27, not 40! It's stressing me out, affecting our relationship, and I don't know what to do. She has really bad credit and no money and I just can't bring myself to ask her to move out, especially since she has 2 children (9 and 10) - I don't know what to do.

I feel obligated to her but I also feel a taken advantage of. I was prepared to deal with her being unemployed for a little while when she left her job. Hey, it happens that work doesn't often come right away. But it's been FIVE months now at nearly $1500 a month in rent/bills that I've paid nearly all of.
 


ENASNI

Senior Member
well

I am afraid I am gonna be one of the nicer people to respond to you Mr Furniture.
But you are not asking for Legal advice, unless you are asking how to evict her. You haven't even asked a question, you are merely venting.
It seems like you are the Couch and she is the Couch potato.
Ya better Duck and cover because you are gonna get slammed here unless
you ask a valid LEGAL question. Get it? Got it? good!
 
S

seniorjudge

Guest
furniture said:
What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? Virginia

My girlfriend and I have been together for almost five years and have had our ups and downs but I do love her. We rent a modest 3br house together and she has 2 children from previous relationships who we have custody of on weekends. She has been out of work since September (going on 5 months now) and I have been paying the rent and the bills. I make decent money but it is becoming more of a strain financially for me to support. I've tried to nicely get her motivated to get a new job but she hasn't really been hitting the pavement hard. She's been on a few interviews but nothing happened with them. When I was unemployed for even a week in the past I was able to find something to pay the bills - restaurant work, etc.

It's frustrating for me because I love her and because I'm unable to even afford small luxuries for us when 80% of my salary goes to paying the bills. She says that her friends say that I'm the man and should support us - but A) this isn't the 1950s and B) I'm 27, not 40! It's stressing me out, affecting our relationship, and I don't know what to do. She has really bad credit and no money and I just can't bring myself to ask her to move out, especially since she has 2 children (9 and 10) - I don't know what to do.

I feel obligated to her but I also feel a taken advantage of. I was prepared to deal with her being unemployed for a little while when she left her job. Hey, it happens that work doesn't often come right away. But it's been FIVE months now at nearly $1500 a month in rent/bills that I've paid nearly all of.

What was your question?
 

furniture

Junior Member
My question is this:

We are both on the lease, so if I asked her to leave is she legally allowed to stay because she's on the lease? If I talk to the landlord to get her off the lease could she insist on staying?

I apologize for not making this clear earlier.
 

AHA

Senior Member
If you love her so much, you should find another alternative than kicking her out on the street with 2 kids. I'm sure she doesn't want to be poor any more than you do, be firm, explain how bad the money situation is, find job ads WITH her, help her send out her resume, and give her a deadline, if she hasn't found any kind of job within a certain time, she's on her own. If she's on the lease, I'm sure she has some rights too, meaning you might not be able to legally toss her out without a certain amount of days/weeks/month notice. Sometimes tough love is the only way to get through to certain people, is she aware of how bad the money situation is or are you covering that up so she doesn't worry? Do you have any contacts or anything where she might be able to get some work?
 

VeronicaGia

Senior Member
Also, when does the lease end? Is it just a few more months? If so, don't renew it. Make it clear you are getting your own one bedroom apartment when the lease ends.
 

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